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Hollywood's just not funny. -- Chris Rock
Violence is not funny. -- William Friedkin
I was not funny growing up. -- Tim Meadows
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I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.' -- Tracy Morgan
I used to stutter really badly. Everybody thinks it's funny. And it's not funny. It's not. -- Joe Biden
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. -- Calvin Trillin
Funny is the world I live in. You're funny, I'm interested. You're not funny, I'm not interested. -- Jerry Seinfeld
If you are truly offended by an 80-year-old man saying you're not funny, then you're probably not funny. -- Sarah Silverman
I'm not funny. People assume that because my books are funny, I'll be funny in real life. It's the inevitable disappointment of meeting me. -- Jonathan Safran Foer
I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny. -- Larry David
Some lucky people can be funny without half trying because they actually look funny, because acting funny is in their bones - fun as funny, not funny as crude slapstick. -- F. Sionil Jose
You're not funny and nobody likes you! -- CM Punk
I'm not funny. What I am is brave. -- Lucille Ball
Old man with an old phone. That's never not funny. -- Adam McKay
These jokes the world plays, they're not funny at all. -- David Mitchell
What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny. -- Denis Leary
If I don't offend somebody, then I'm probably not funny. -- Tracy Morgan
Donald Trump's words are are not funny, his words are poisonous. -- Tulip Siddiq
Anything that is not funny at a certain point will be funny. -- Robin Williams
If boys say something that's not funny, you don't have to laugh. -- Amy Poehler
There just is not one person in my family who is not funny. -- Michael Keaton
If it's dirty, it's not funny, but if it's funny, it's not dirty. -- Buddy Hackett
I was being chased by a giant crab. [Audience laughs] That's not funny. -- Dane Cook
It's not funny when you actually get shot, but afterwards, yeah, it's funny. -- Curtis Jackson
The thought of you being removed from the rotation is not funny to me. -- John Green
A comedian is not funny unless he is taking his demons out for a walk. -- Cynthia Heimel
Comedy is not funny. Comedy is hard work and timing and lots and lots of rehearsals. -- Larry Hagman
Harry Reid is not funny; he's creepy. Nancy Pelosi is creepy. Charles Schumer is sneaky and creepy. -- Lewis Black
I'm not a comedian. I don't make things funny if they're not funny. I don't invent funny stuff. -- Morgan Freeman
To be sitting on the bench behind somebody who only started to play when he was 30 is not funny. -- Jens Lehmann
I'm not funny in person. I mean I'm really not. I'm one of those people who always screw up anecdotes. -- Bill Bryson
I used to go in for Disney auditions, and they'd tell me, 'You're cute and nice but just not funny.' -- Gattlin Griffith
I've never gotten to do romantic comedy like most of the girls. Maybe because I'm fit, people assume that I'm not funny? -- Jessica Biel
But its not funny. Not to people who've been told they're losers their whole lives and believe they will never be anything else. -- Julie Anne Peters
Shakespeare - it's not funny. No matter how they try to make Shakespeare funny, when it's meant to be funny it's not funny. -- Julie Walters
Comedy is ridiculously hard. And if the rhythm is not right, if the music or the line is not right, it's not funny. -- Julianne Moore
I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not funny. -- Issa Rae
I've always run by the hierarchy of 'If not funny, interesting. If not interesting, hot. If not hot, bizarre. If not bizarre, break something. -- Jon Stewart
I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' -- Anna Torv
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To me, racist jokes are not funny. I am politically correct, in a weird way. I like to push the boundaries that are politically correct. -- John Waters
I know jazz is completely un-American. But the reason why America doesn't like it is because it's not funny. We [americans] have made jazz funny. -- Paul Provenza
I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard. -- Eric McCormack
Comedians usually are rooting for the underdog. I mean to take a shot at an underdog I think is really stupid and low and not funny. -- Joy Behar
Especially with comedy, you take massive risks because ultimately you're trying to be funny. If you're not funny, then it's really embarrassing and you look stupid. -- Dominic Cooper
I take Charb's point, but at some point has Charlie Hebdo been trying to have it both ways because some of what they do is not funny. -- Scott Simon
The way this country deals with drugs is just not funny. What a waste of everyone's time and effort. What a waste of a lot of people's lives. -- Dave Barry
I'd love to get into some comedy, but people keep saying, 'You're not funny!' And I say, 'Well, fair enough.' I have done comedy on stage. -- Ciaran Hinds
Becka was almost good looking enough to be on a reality dating show, but not funny looking or sad enough to be on one of the makeover shows. -- Kelly Link
Don't make being a girl or a victim part of your stand-up act. If you encounter sexism in the business, don't bring it on stage; it's not funny. -- Jen Kirkman
Sometimes you're not getting the laughs you want or at the place you want but that doesn't mean it's not funny. It means you haven't explored it enough. -- Baron Vaughn
Doing actual comedic material is just about the most joyful endeavor ever. That's the truth. The only time it's not funny is when business gets in the way. -- Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Humor is not funny. Humor is something else. Funny is a joke, sometimes silly. Comedy is deep and connected to tragedy; comedy could be deeper than tragedy, in my view. -- Gerald Stern
As I get older, the character evolves tremendously because I'm married and have kids now and realize certain things are not funny anymore. I threw them out of my act. -- Larry the Cable Guy
I actually don't subscribe to the notion that comedy is easier than drama. When you're trying to be funny and you're not funny, that's really terrible. It's a horrible feeling. -- Tom Hollander
Do you want me to apologize after every joke? If it doesn't offend somebody it's probably not a joke. It's probably an observation that's not funny. It's gotta offend somebody somewhere. -- Jeff Ross
Real racist jokes or sexist jokes aren't funny - not because they're offensive, but because they're not true. As soon as a joke is based on an untruth, it's not funny. -- Ricky Gervais
An interesting thing about the beginning of our friendship and professional collaboration [with Tina Fey] was that the improve scenes we would do together were basically dramatic and not funny at all. -- Amy Poehler
People who laugh so heartily at what they themselves have said, when it is not funny, dispense us accordingly, by taking upon themselves the responsibility for the mirth, from joining in it. -- Marcel Proust
Mr. McCabe thinks that I am not serious but only funny, because Mr. McCabe thinks that funny is the opposite of serious. Funny is the opposite of not funny and nothing else. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was? -- Adam Carolla
No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. -- Tucker Max
I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families. -- Maria Shriver
I did. I did see Bigfoot when I was a kid and I still believe it to this day. I saw a big furry man outside my window. It's not funny! It was real. -- Barry Watson
Race makes things funny. A black guy driving in NASCAR: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Tide: not funny. A black guy driving a car sponsored by Aunt Jemima: hilarious. -- Carlos Mencia
You are so lame. You always disappoint me. It's kind of like our running joke but it's really not funny and I just want you to live up to the image of you I create. -- Ani DiFranco
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. -- Seann William Scott
The surprising thing is that I was not funny in high school. I was always jealous of the funny kids because they always got the girls. I couldn't tell a joke to save my life. -- Seann William Scott
It is not funny that a man should be killed, but it is sometimes funny that he should be killed for so little, and that his death should be the coin of what we call civilization. -- Raymond Chandler
When a woman says nothing's wrong, that means everything's wrong. And when a woman says everything's wrong, that means everything's wrong! And when a woman says something's not funny, you'd better not laugh your ass off! -- Homer
It's very difficult once you've been on telly because people know what you do. They give you a little bit of grace but then they're harsher if you're not funny, so you have to be funny. -- Noel Fielding
I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all. -- Roseanne Barr
Reynie's fce fell. 'It's not funny, Kate.' For a moment - a fleeting moment - Kate looked desperately sad. 'Well, of course it's not funny, Reynie Muldoon. But what do you want me to do? Cry? -- Trenton Lee Stewart
I stopped doing romantic comedies. I just stopped. They're terrible. They're bad. They're not funny and so they shouldn't be a romantic comedy because most of the time they're not romantic. They shouldn't be called romantic comedy. -- Sandra Bullock
Time will mellow it, make it a moment for laughter. But now it was not funny, now I did not laugh. It was not the future, it was the present. It was too vivid and too real. -- Daphne du Maurier
I always hate telling my jokes in print 'cause I always feel like it reads so not funny and people read it and they think, 'Oh, so that's what that guy does in his stand-up? That's terrible.' -- Aziz Ansari
It's not funny, Jace," Alec interrupted, starting to his feet. "Are you just going to let her stand there and call me names?" "Yes," Jace said kindly. "It'll do you good-- try to think of it as endurance training. -- Cassandra Clare
A joke is either funny or it's not funny. If I hear a funny joke, you know what I do? I laugh, that's what I do. I don't start a focus group to see who got hurt by the joke. -- Alonzo Bodden
Films are big hits when they touch a lot of people. Things are not funny in a vacuum, they're funny because we respond to some personal dislocation, some embarrassment, some humiliation, some pain we've suffered, or some desire we have. -- Harold Ramis
But I believe that there are marriages where you can have your pool table and she can have her scrapbooking room or garden or whatever it is. But when everyone has what they want, it's not funny. There's no conflict. -- Brad Garrett
Two things, generally, for me, is what life is about. And they're not funny. Living in the moment, is one. And No. 2 is getting out of yourself and helping other people. Because all of my suffering stems from thinking from myself. -- Bobby Lee
I think that if you're serving yourself before you're serving a story then that's where you end up being not funny. It's not about being funny, it's about telling a story and then the comedy comes out of the situation, I think. -- Zooey Deschanel
In real life, bad things happen and they're not funny, and then bad things happen and they can be funny. When you're unhappy you don't go an entire time without laughing. You don't go your whole life without laughing. It's just life. -- Jennifer Lawrence
Why would you do that? (Delphine) Why do you think? (Jericho) Because I'm a bossy hag and you'd rather be enslaved to a man you hate than deal with me. (Delphine) You know"you're not funny. (Jericho) I think I'm hysterical. (Delphine) -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Half of the great comedians I've had in my shows and that I paid a lot of money to and who made my customers shriek were not only not funny to me, but I couldn't understand why they were funny to anybody. -- Florenz Ziegfeld
Any of you who have members of your family in the lifestyle, we have a member of our family that is [lesbian]. This is not funny. It's a very sad life. It's part of Satan, I think, to say that this is gay. -- Michele Bachmann
If you play Mark Twain and he's not funny, you are definitely not playing Mark Twain. That was the biggest challenge, in some ways. Writing and performing jokes that can come out of that brilliant delivery system he constructed: the friendly, avuncular truth-teller. -- Val Kilmer
When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of the club. People are drunk or whatever and they'll let you have it. -- Brad Stine
Some years later, long after he and Megadeth parted company, Jay Jones was stabbed to death with a butter knife during-rumor has it-a fight over a bolonga sandwich. That's not funny, of course. But, if you knew Jay, neither is it particularly suprising. -- Dave Mustaine
When I started, I wanted to be thought of as tortured and seductive, not funny, but humor tends to be a reflexive part of a person's sensibility. It's an almost impossible thing to teach anyone, which leads me to believe that it's intuitive. -- Mark Leyner
I had gotten to a place where I truly believed everything I was called: 'not sexy,' 'not funny,' 'too intense,' desperate.' All those labels they gave me, I took them because there wasn't a trace of my true self left. -- Naomi Watts
I'm not tempted to write a song about George W.Bush. I couldn't figure out what sort of song I would write. That's the problem: I don't want to satirise George Bush and his puppeteers, I want to vaporise them. And that's not funny. -- Tom Lehrer
Screaming at children over their grades, especially to the point of the child's tears, is child abuse, pure and simple. It's not funny and it's not good parenting. It is a crushing, scarring, disastrous experience for the child. It isn't the least bit funny. -- Ben Stein
It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down. Why do we laugh? Because it is a gravely religious matter: it is the Fall of Man. Only man can be absurd: for only man can be dignified. -- Gilbert K. Chesterton
To my friends and people I care about, I'm a really nice guy. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff. -- Tucker Max
Movies require a lot of patience. I like instant results. If I have done something that's not funny at all, the audience will let me know in two seconds. With the movie, I will have to wait nine months to know if I was that bad. -- Vir Das
When you're doing comedy, it is so subjective. What is funny to you is not funny to another person. What is dirty to you is not dirty to the other person. Comedy is one of those things you throw against the wall and see what sticks. -- Larry the Cable Guy
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Every now and then you'll say something that didn't quite work. But the important thing is, as a comic, you try to learn why it didn't. And then you adjust and figure out how to either make it work or just abandon it because it's just not funny. -- Brad Williams
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I'm not very funny! -- Kimbra
I'm just not very funny. -- Ira Glass
Not everybody agrees on what's funny, obviously. -- Tim Meadows
If you try to be funny, you're not being funny. -- John Gordon Sinclair
You want everyone to be great and funny. I'm not saying I'm great, but I'm funny. -- Jon Lovitz
There are just so many funny kids and teenagers. They're just not aware of how funny they are. -- Vanessa Bayer
I like seeing what the comedian thinks is funny, not just what they think I'll think is funny. -- Anthony Jeselnik
I do not think that obsession is funny or that not being able to stop one's intensity is funny. -- Jim Dine
Not funny ha ha, funny weird -- Dean Koontz
I'm not going to be remotely funny. -- Kyra Sedgwick
I try to be funny and not ignorant. -- Kevin Hart
I'd rather proliferate funny little rumors than not. -- Autre Ne Veut
I'm funny. I'm a comedian. I'm not a clown. -- Bernie Mac
Being funny is not the same as being happy. -- Dana Gould
I think being funny is not anyone's first choice. -- Woody Allen
Actually I never did stand up. I'm not that funny. -- Maynard James Keenan
I'm not someone who shies away from darkness being funny. -- Brett Gelman
I'm not really very funny, I just keep recycling jokes. -- Reese Roper
Nature has a funny way of breaking what does not bend. -- Jewel

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