Michael Keaton quotes:

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  • High energy creates more energy, more energy, more energy. It kicks off synapses, I guess. It opens up your brain and you think of one thing after another thing, after another. You can really open yourself up comedically, which is fun.

  • Westerns were always my favorite things when I was little. And it always bothered me when cowboys were too clean in movies, or when they wore their guns like they had an outfit on. It always worked better when a guy looked sweaty and smelly; I hadda believe, I hadda believe that.

  • There is the theory... that you live in two places: You either live in fear, or you live in love.

  • My first day in grade school, I was plain scared. I left the comfort of my run-down house, which I loved, and went to school where it was cold, it smelled, the lighting was bad.

  • In our family, my brothers and I shared toys. In other words, just because it was mine didn't mean my brothers and I didn't play with it.

  • To this day, I have the most fond memories of some of my old toys.

  • To make extra money, my parents would sell eggs and chickens. I was very little. I remember a chicken's head being chopped off with the chicken running around. I wasn't sure if my imagination was running away with me or if it really happened. It really happened.

  • If I'm going to meditate, there is a little church up in Montecito, California. It's an old Spanish mission, actually. I find it comforting in there.

  • I've got six wonderful brothers and sisters.

  • There comes a point in your life when you realize how quickly time goes by, and how quickly it has gone. Then it really speeds up exponentially. With that, I think you start to put a lot of things into context; you start to see how huge the world is, and really, the universe.

  • It's great to make your own choices, but there's a price to pay. I could've made more money or been more famous. I could be the current groovy guy.

  • From an art perspective, I don't know how you get better than 'Beetlejuice.' In terms of originality and a look, it's 100% unique.

  • I think one reason I really like women and like working with women is because of my sisters.

  • My brothers were tremendous shack builders. My shacks were horrible. My brothers once built a two-story shack from the ground up that was awesome!

  • If you're a dope like me, you get every sports channel you can get. I'm watching, you know, Netherlands soccer.

  • I was a really involved dad - not because I'm such a wonderful person. I like being a dad.

  • I liked 'Robocop' because of the director, and it was an intelligent, big-action studio movie.

  • I saw 'Wild,' and I thought, 'Wow, this is a lot of things, but one of the things is it's a therapist's dream and a climate-change denier's nightmare.'

  • There just is not one person in my family who is not funny.

  • I played a lot of sports when I was a kid so I get in that ballgame mindset of being really, really respectful, but at same time saying to yourself, 'Don't back down a single inch, hang with these guys if you can.' If they throw it high and tight you have to stand in there, you can't take yourself out of that moment.

  • I'm getting more and more bored with professional sports, but I still watch.

  • I've changed my diet a few times. Now I'm trying to eat more protein. I eat little meals throughout the day. I love food, so I still give myself great meals. Also, when I'm busy, it's easy to lose weight.

  • Beetlejuice' was a romp, man. 'Beetlejuice' was fun. I've never had so much fun in my life.

  • Generally, I move in the direction of art.

  • I read that John Hughes script for 'Mr. Mom,' and I thought, 'This guy is a funny writer.' I went: 'You ought to stick around and direct this thing.' But he didn't; he left, and look what he became. A really legendary comedy director.

  • I was an altar boy, which I loved and am very proud of. It was strict, but also really nice.

  • If you look at what I do, there's no consistency. The consistency is that there is no consistency. I do projects that are good and not so good.

  • My limited theater experience was when I was a kid starting out: two or three plays. I was good in one and mediocre in the other. My problem is that I have other interests.

  • I have some tremendous, tremendously loving, generous friends all over the world.

  • I like people-people rather than movie people.

  • Filmmaking is the ultimate team sport.

  • When I was in improv workshops or doing stand-up or writing comedy with others, or just doing comedy, I just laughed. Funny was funny; I loved to laugh. I always liked people I found generally funny.

  • Will Ferrell makes me laugh a lot when he gets out there and gets crazy.

  • Anesthesia is quite remarkable. Its lost time. And you wake up kind of refreshed.

  • It's great to be young and insane.

  • Magna carta. Master charga.

  • Over the years, I think, people - actors, writers, whatever - lose their frame of reference. Their frame of reference is based on somebody else who did this or did that. Performances. So it just becomes a reflection of what already works. Like a warm-up. And that's an invitation to be inauthentic.

  • I remember my mom threatening me, half-serious: 'You know what? I should take you to Pittsburgh and put you in dance lessons just to keep you occupied.' Well, that brought everything to a screeching halt. 'Jeeze, dance lessons.' In retrospect, it would have been awesome, but then, 'Ugh, dancing - dancing's for sissies.'

  • Anesthesia is quite remarkable. It's lost time. And you wake up kind of refreshed.

  • I didn't go to church all the time, just 'cause I was an antsy kid.

  • In the household in which I was raised, the themes were pretty simple. 'Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.'

  • The first feature film I did, when I did 'Night Shift,' I improvised quite a bit because I would improvise at the audition, so sometimes I would return to the original lines, and then when I was on set, I would improvise even more.

  • Unpredictability means what it means. I don't know how you define it. It is what it is.

  • I don't think there's anybody better than Leonardo DiCaprio, and I've been saying that since before anyone knew who he was.

  • I guess I'm probably a Method actor; I don't know... I just think of it as staying in the zone.

  • I never knew anyone who was cloned, but I played one in 'Multiplicity.'

  • Chris Nolan is great, but I've never seen any of the 'Batman' movies all the way through. I know they're good. I just have zero interest in those kinds of movies.

  • I was never a huge 007 fan, but I sure liked Sean Connery. I'm sure Pierce Brosnan is good and has his moments, but I've not seen him; I've only seen bits and pieces on TV, so I can't really judge. Pierce looks very natural in the role.

  • David Letterman used to say, 'I wasn't the class clown, but I wrote for him,' and that's exactly it. You want to be known to be funny without having it pointed out.

  • I'm the seventh child of George and Leona Douglas, and I don't ever remember a time when my father didn't work two jobs. When my mother was going to the grocery, or going to Mass, or trying to take care of seven kids in a run-down farmhouse.

  • Leaving a lot of movie sets, I've gone home and said, 'How come my hands are clean?' I should finish something and go home with dirt in my fingernails, because then you really feel that you've done something.

  • Unless you're flat out dead, you have to think of some other questions like: what's on the other side? It brings up issues of God, or no God. How does he play into this? Or he, or she, or it? How does it all play into this?

  • People always make these generalized statements about Hollywood, and there's all kinds of people in Hollywood.

  • I'm in a business that invites narcissism, self-involvement, and egos being blown out of proportion.

  • I was raising a child full time, sharing the responsibility with his mom. He lived with me half the time, so I chose not to go away and make certain movies.

  • I reached a point where I didn't think I was that great. I'm not being humble. I was looking at things and thinking: 'You're not really good in that'. I think I was becoming boring as well as bored. It was nobody's fault except mine - probably - and it might not even be my fault.

  • I had a real strong fantasy life as a kid. But then you grow up and think about real jobs.

  • I never wanted to play the short game.

  • Weirdly, for someone who wanted to be funny, I didn't like a lot of attention.

  • My first manager, he had left Germany when he was five, but he would joke about the Nazis. And I'd laugh, but I'd look at him, and he was the first one who told me, 'You know, funny is a powerful thing; it's a wonderful weapon.'

  • Actors will say 'yes' to anything.

  • I can't sleep the first night in a hotel room.

  • Ahhh... It's good to be young and insane.

  • Dying is a really hard way to learn about life.

  • From an art perspective, I dont know how you get better than Beetlejuice. In terms of originality and a look, its 100% unique.

  • I never knew anyone who was cloned, but I played one in Multiplicity.

  • I performed stand-up because I didn't have to ask anyone's permission. My set was never joke-centric. It was a performance.

  • I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press for even having a comedy category.

  • I'll always stand by the first 'Batman'. Even for its imperfections, people will never know how hard that movie was to do. A lot of that still holds up.

  • I'm a really sensitive person. I cry if I miss a cab. I've always worn my emotions on my sleeve. I think it makes life so much better when you can talk about anything.

  • Is this a great country, or what?

  • It's odd, how those things happen to actors. A thing where you think, "I have no idea how to do this," something will happen in your life comes up and you just get it. I don't know how you get it, but actors are pretty extraordinary, in that regard. I think it's fear that happens.

  • Shoot, two things I said I wasn't going to do: Cry and give air quotes,

  • Small movie, small role, giant movie, giant role. Work is work. You've got to tell the truth and show up.

  • Well, I think I'm not a non-believer, and I'm not a believer. But, on the other hand, I couldn't give you a good enough reason why EVP doesn't exist. I don't know enough about it, so how could I say it's not true. Plus, a person's reality is a person's reality so that's your belief system. It's all perception anyway, isn't it.

  • Work hard. Don't quit. Be appreciative, be thankful, be grateful, be respectful. Also, never whine, never complain. And always, for crying out loud, keep a sense of humor.

  • Yeah, I had to change my name because there were two other actors registered at Equity with that name.

  • You tell me another gang that's got a dental plan.

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