CM Punk quotes:

This isn't CM Punk talking to Triple H, this is Phil Brooks talking to Paul Levesque

Anybody wants to call me the Triple H of Ring of Honor, I think that's hilarious. I would prefer to call Triple H the CM Punk of the WWE

Best of luck in your future endeavors!

Wrestling is pretty DIY. I've been doing it for 12 years, completely on my own. It's like being in a band or running a zine - except that I get to kick people in the face.

Don't let these tattoos fool you. I'm straight edge. I'm a man of great discipline; I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs... my addiction is wrestling - my obsession is competition. Discipline. My name is C...M...Punk.

I was a huge Sub-Zero guy, but the fact that you can download Freddy Krueger is the coolest thing I've heard of in a very long time.

In 50 years, your grandchildren will be asking you where you were when CM Punk beat the Undertaker's streak!

I'm not allowed to wear my street clothes on TV because Vince McMahon says I don't look like CM Punk when I'm not in my gear.

It's a good time to be CM Punk right now.

Hey Colt Cabana, how you doing

I am the best wrestler in the world.

I hear you guys all the time talking about Daniel Bryan, trained by Shawn Michaels. One curious thing to me is, how come you guys never mention William Regal? William Regal did the real work with this young man. Shawn Michaels took $3,000 from him, that's all he ever did.

He spilled my diet soda!

I'm jumping in right now. And I'm going to say that everybody I know has a 'day I met CM Punk story' and they're all 100% fabrication. It's all bullshit. Thank you.

John, what are you doing? John, my diet soda. What are you doing?

Texas is dicktown. No basement in the alamo. I didnt capitalize that on purpose.

One week I'll get pancakes at Bongo Room, the next week I go to Kuma's Corner. But I always end up at Coldstone. I love ice cream.

I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time.

I drink this [whiskey glass] and I'm just another JBL? you don't get it, I'm not like you. I'm not JBL, I'm CM Punk! Sometimes it's what you don't do that makes you who you are.

My name's Punk. CM Punk.

I might wear a tux on Monday. Or a kimono!

Don't look at me like that, Michael Cole.

Pro wrestling has always been ingrained into American culture. It was one of the first things that was ever on television, so everybody watched it.

I fancy myself as being very good at Guitar Hero. I really don't play any other videogames. I kind of fell in love with Guitar Hero the first time I played it, and went out and bought a system for it.

See, Josh, that's what you do when someone slaps you in the face. So the next time it happens to you, try to retaliate.

I think it's because I'm real. Inside and outside of the ring, what you see is what you get. I'm CM Punk. I'm not trying to be something I'm not. I'm not trying to lie to the people or be fake. I'm not trying to be some crazy, outlandish character. I'm real and they appreciate that. Everything I say, it comes from the heart. It's all real.

In my twisted brain, I truly believe that nobody ever really dies, as long as the people that he or she touched continue to spread their legacy. I miss Eddie Guerrero. Eddie Guerrero was a great man. So right now, I don't want to hear 'CM Punk', you know the name I wanna hear.

It's a good thing a DUI's job security.

I'm a very goal-oriented person.

I think pro wrestling doesn't seem to get a lot of mainstream attention until somebody dies.

I mean when was the last time we had one of these contract signings... that didn't end... in some sort of horrible physical calamity? So if you wanna cut to the chase, you know, we can flip the table over, we can all start beating each other up or we can at least make this entertaining.

Until you announce me as the #1 contender for the WWE Championship, I suggest you watch me make snow angels.

I'm straight edge, and that means I'm better than you.

I'm not a suit and tie kind of guy. I wear a suit once a year, for the Hall of Fame, or if I have to go to a funeral or something. It's just not me.

If Triple H asked you to jump off a bridge, would you? Because I think that's good for business.

I believe Melina is wearing Uggs. Which is exactly how I feel about her.

I am the voice of the voiceless.

I'm THE BEST IN THE WORLD!

I would much rather be hated for who I am, then loved for something that I am not.

Whatever your walk in life is, you pick what you want to be, then go ahead and be the best one.

Haters are my favorite. I´ve built an empire with the bricks they´ve thrown at me. Keep on hating.

I don't smoke, I don't drink, I don't use drugs. That may be boring for some people, but that's just me. That's how I live my life.

The best thing you can probably do is keep a low profile, keep your eyes and ears open, your mouth shut, and you will learn a ton.

Sometimes it's what you don't do that makes you who you are.

I've never stolen anything in my life, except maybe a couple hearts here and there.

I am the best wrestler in the world. I've been the best ever since day one when I walked into this company, and I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar, and he split just like I'm splitting, but the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I'm the kind of person that if I'm not getting something that I need from somewhere. I don't cry about it, I'm like OK I'm going to go here and find what I need.

If something sucks, I've always been completely vocal about it, and I've been punished many, many times because of that. But I don't think I'd be in the spot I'm in right now if I wasn't me. I've always just been me.

Do you know what it's like going through life being better than everybody? It's hard.

If you give me the ball, you'll never see it again. Because I'll knock it out of the f*****g park.

I don't want to sound egotistical, but I'm egotistical to an extent.

My dad was an alcoholic and my mother...we didn't have any money and I grew up really poor. I watched them spend all of their money on cartons of cigarettes and stuff like that and I didn't understand how if we were broke and we couldn't afford Christmas presents, why could you smoke all of those cigarettes? It's not like they are making you better...they are killing you. It seemed real idiotic to me.

Different people are afforded different opportunities. I've been given some awesome opportunities, and I feel that I've always knocked them out of the park. But I've always been scaled back after that.

Please. Thank you. Learn it. Love it. Or be disappointed.

I'm not Superman. Eventually, the grind gets to you. If you're away from your friends, you're not traveling with anyone you like, and you're doing stuff that doesn't creatively stimulate you, that's when it becomes a job.

If hell is to roam, then i've got hell to pave...

I've never worn a dress shirt that's been comfortable. I've always just worn dress shoes. On more than one occasion, I've heard that a champion should dress like a champion. But I'm a champion because of who I am. Who I am is not that guy. If everybody wears three-piece suits, everyone looks the same.

I'd much rather be a one-hit wonder than a phony.

When you step in the ring, your arms are just too short to box with God

I'll go be the best in the world somewhere else.

Planning stuff out sucks. If you plan stuff out, you wind up talking in a very monotonous, unnatural way.

Pete and Repeat are in a boat, Pete jumps out who's left in the boat?

If I- if I competed in Bruno Sammartino's era, I'd have been champion for 20 years, too. No, I'd have been champion for 30 years. Because wrestling one night a month at Madison Square Garden is easy. You never see a Hulk Hogan wrestle TLC matches against a superstar like Ryback. Because he had it easy. I wrestle physically demanding matches on free television, week in and week out. So much that my one year equals 30 of theirs. And I have attained this success, not- not because of you. I am successful not because of you. I am successful in spite of you.

I am The Catalyst of Change

Wherever I am, I think it's my show.

I will kick you in the nuts and you will smile and like it.

This is how diseases are usually spread. Someone spits on a guy, somebody has sex with a chimp. Next thing you know . . . AIDS.

Do I want an ice cream bar with my name on it? You're DAMN right!

There's a lot of unrest. There are a lot of people who are unhappy. I don't want to say I'm their hero, but a lot of people have said that... It's like this in every job, I think. There's certain people who are afforded privileges and maybe, maybe don't deserve them.

A whole bunch of people told me that if I went to WWE, I'd never make it. But it's like I never heard them. I never listened. To me, I'm exactly where I belong. I feel like I was born to do this. Whatever your walk in life is, you pick what you want to be, then go ahead and be the best one.

Luck? Good luck? GM, the last time I checked, luck is for losers.

A lot of people in the WWE try to paint themselves as outlaws and rebels and I really honestly believe I'm the only one left. I always do what I want and I never get any flack for it. I don't know if it's because they know they're not gonna win, or it's not worth fighting me over. Plus I don't see what the big deal is about me wearing a Cabana shirt. The guy should be working there, first of all, and it's promoting my friend. I don't see what the big deal is.

I think it's good to have different styles, though. I think it's good to have a lucha on a show, some Japanese flavor, I think MMA is a good thing, a little bit of the hardcore and the blood and guts is good. That is what makes a show for me.

I don't know if this sounds bad, but I am set. I don't spend my money. I don't buy cars or have an expensive drug habit. The only thing I've ever bought with the money I've made is my house.

For some reason, talking is easy for me. Practice does make perfect; I've been doing it for a while. Being out there in a high-pressure situation with a live audience and a live TV camera on you, it brings something out. It's very organic.

You're not funny and nobody likes you!

I don't know if you guys know this but I'm sort of a big deal.

I don't like having debts. I don't like buying anything that I can't buy in cash.

All your heroes are dead! I killed them!

What you've lost sight of is what you are, and what you are is what you hate. You're the 10-time WWE Champion! You're the man! You, like the Red Sox, like Boston, are no longer the underdog! You're a dynasty. You are what you hate. You have become the New York Yankees!

I'm a living, breathing example of someone who does the same exact thing, but drugs and alcohol just aren't a part of who I am.

I'm not the kind of guy that really thinks I'm a celebrity or feels that I'm important or anything like that.

I would love to do both but I think I believe there's a thing as overexposure and I think people will get sick of me real quick. I kind of basically looked at it as my retirement plan now. That's definitely something I can do when I'm not wrestling anymore. And believe it or not - this sounds horrible - but it was really easy for me. I would really love to do both. I'd love to wrestle and do commentary, I think that would be awesome.

Where, oh, where are my WWE ice cream bars?!

My hair is pure. It stands for purity because no foreign chemicals or substances has ever touched my hair.

The only thing I took advantage of at Extreme Rules was an opportunity to cash in my Money in the Bank contract, which I did successfully, well within the rules. You know, Jeff knows this, you know this, the fans know this: nowhere on that contract does it say, under any circumstances, 'Do not cash in on Jeff Hardy.'

King Kofi Kingston. The initials are horrible but the name sounds great.

Is he under the influence or something?

YOU HAVE A VAAGGGIINNAAA!

Security, we have a jumper! Security?

I would never be happy with just coming to TV tapings, not working house shows, and just getting by, staying in the shadows. I'm proud of the fact that I can turn chickenshit to chicken salad.

Right now, I would like complete silence when I'm talking.

I am STILL better than you. Because I AM drug free, I AM alcohol free, and Iâ??m straightedge.

I don't drink. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. My addiction is wrestling.

Yes, I wanted to win! I wanted the belt! I'm a belt mark! I want to sleep with it! I want to wear that and nothing else to church on Sunday!

No matter how much people want to pretend that they're embarrassed by it, that they don't watch it, everybody knows about it. It's truly, I believe, one of the only art forms that America has actually given to the world, besides jazz and comic books.

I like all kinds of wrestling, I like pro wrestling, so if there's a guy I've been feuding with for over a year, and damn it, the only thing left to do is beat the crap out of each other in a steel cage, then it's time to do it.

Fix him so I can break him again!

Have you guys ever ghost hunted in Hawaii? No? Well, I have this fat friend... I shouldn't say fat, that might offend him, but he's Samoan and claims to have seen ghosts.

Drink up, England... I WANT your liver to fail. Smoke up England, I WANT you to die.

I'm not doing my job if people are like, "What you do is fake." And literally people on the street are confused, generally, for the first time.

King Kofi Kingston, that does have a nice ring to it. But not so much the initials, though.

Screw you and your 38,000 twitter followers!

I had a Chicago Street Fight a couple of years back in Ring of Honor that was really bloody and really violent. That is probably the closest thing to the Extreme Elimination Chamber I can think of.

Can I read it? They really liked it when I did it.

Can we not say 'dumped' and 'Bellas' in the same sentence, please?

So what? I'm out here doing commentary with Malaria.

This is not the Spanish announce table!

One of the things I want to find out is where the hell are the WWE ice cream bars?!

I came here to do a job, and my job is to hurt people.

Gorgeous day here in Chicago. Sure is better than Canada.

Sir! Sir! I'm afraid your music is just too loud!

Storytime is over, Rock. Every time you want to 'bring it,' because it belongs to me, I'm just going to take it!.

I am fat and I don't care.