Girlfriend quotes:

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I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that. -- Mitch Hedberg
I change my mind so much I need two boyfriends and a girlfriend. -- Pink
Well, a girlfriend once told me never to fight with anybody you don't love. -- Jack Nicholson
I think I'd make a pretty good girlfriend. -- Vanessa Hudgens
My girlfriend's a costume designer in the theater. -- Philip Seymour Hoffman
I love football and beer and have a normal girlfriend. -- Josh Duhamel
All my life there's always been an ex-wife or a girlfriend. -- Ronnie Wood
I'm not a player! I'm the girlfriend type! I always have girlfriends. -- Kevin Connolly
My girlfriend bought me a down jacket, she said it fit my personality. -- Jay London
If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend, it does become life and death. -- Ben Kingsley
You only lie to two people in your life, your girlfriend and the police. -- Jack Nicholson
It's a bonus if your girlfriend likes your music - definitely not a downfall. -- Ashton Irwin
Currently I'm not a crazy ex-girlfriend, but I can't promise I won't be one again. -- Miranda Lambert
It seems a bit weird to call someone your girlfriend when you have a child. -- Jason Isaacs
I can only have dinner with my girlfriends once a month instead of once a week. -- Andrea Jung
I don't date my girlfriend because she's a model. I date her because I love her. -- Adam Levine
It was all fun and games until someone else's dick was in your girlfriend's TMJ mouth -- Tara Sivec
I loved the idea of Travolta sitting on the kid's swing, pining away for his girlfriend. -- Randal Kleiser
There's only two people in your life you should lie to... the police and your girlfriend. -- Jack Nicholson
I had a girlfriend before I ever had a boyfriend, but it was just a phase. -- Mark Gatiss
Appearance is something you should definitely consider when you're going out. Have your girlfriend clip your nails or something like that. -- Usher
Because I have a girlfriend, I try and take the straight and narrow path, which is good because it prevents VD. -- Joe Rogan
My idea of hell is a girlfriend ringing up and saying, 'Let's go shopping and have cocktails.' I'd rather play cards. -- Alison Moyet
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.' -- Steven Wright
I don't know, maybe I'm immature, but I still find it funny if I dump cold water on my girlfriend when she's in the shower. -- Daniel Tosh
When my girlfriend and I talk about being happy, I'll get choked up, which I think is the greatest gift you can give a girlfriend. -- Seth Meyers
I couldn't feel good about myself hanging out in Armani clothes when my girlfriend can't even pay her heating bill. I'd feel foul and I'd be embarrassed. -- Shirley Manson
I think the qualities I look for in a girl I'd like to be my girlfriend would be the way Lindsay's character is before she becomes a plastic. Very real. -- Jonathan Bennett
My girlfriend and I never let each other forget how much we love each other. It's all about reminding the other person how important and special she is to you. -- Tyler Hoechlin
I have stepped off the relationship scene to come to terms with myself. I have spent most of my adult life being 'someone's girlfriend', and now I am happy being single. -- Penelope Cruz
My bed isn't made, I'm tired, I haven't slept well for two weeks. I haven't been laid in a month. I don't have a girlfriend. I have a warrant for my arrest. -- Layne Staley
My high-school years were so mediocre - I moved out when I was 16 and started living with my girlfriend who was 10 years older. Apart from that, I was just a video nerd. -- Jason Reitman
I was reading through endless junk scripts that were being sent my way. Typically the roles were to play his wife or his girlfriend - leading roles for women were few and far between. -- Roma Downey
When you're a teenager, you want to meet a lot of girls - you want to get the most girls. You don't know anything about respect; you don't know anything about being faithful and loyal to your girlfriend. -- Nas
I will confess I am a great wingman. Since I have a girlfriend, I'll start the night with her, but then I'll help out the guys by making them sound like the most incredible guys in the world. -- Louis Tomlinson
Our fans want us to be happy and if that means being married or having a girlfriend, they are okay with that. Of course, in this industry it is a bit harder to have normal relationships, but it is possible. -- A. J. McLean
I just like really simple things. If I had been on tour for a while and I got to come back and take my girlfriend Eleanor on a date, we would go to the cinema and then out for dinner. -- Louis Tomlinson
I think I'm a really good girlfriend, and I think that I could be a really good wife. I know that I love being able to give my love out to someone. I know there is somebody great out there for me. -- Jennifer Love Hewitt
I would love to close my eyes and see myself with my girlfriend when we're 99 years old and I have a pipe and she's knitting a sweater, and I hope that's the way it goes. I think it's a challenge every day. -- Chris Messina
Wife: a former girlfriend -- Bangambiki Habyarimana
Karma is God's girlfriend. -- Allan Williams
My career is my girlfriend. -- Aaron Carter
I'm always looking for a girlfriend. -- Austin Mahone
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. -- Stephen Hawking
God is like a shitty girlfriend. -- Louis C. K.
My girlfriend is an angel." -Xavier -- Alexandra Adornetto
My girlfriend has been the ice. -- Apolo Ohno
One man's trash is another man's girlfriend. -- Jerry Lawler
Beauty magazines make my girlfriend feel ugly. -- James De La Vega
A beautiful girlfriend is worth two more. -- Raheel Farooq
When did the government become our psycho ex-girlfriend -- Jay Leno
He helped John Cusak get his girlfriend back. -- Chris Martin
My girlfriend doesn't think I'm funny at all. -- Robbie Amell
At least I didn't invent a dead girlfriend -- Lance Armstrong
Cheap! But not as cheap as your girlfriend. -- Warren Ellis
I'm married to football, baseball is my girlfriend. -- Deion Sanders
My song is ya girlfriend's wakin up ringer -- Drake
I'm not a lesbian, but my girlfriend is. -- Gina Gershon
My girlfriend works at Hooters. In the kitchen. -- Mitch Hedberg
I want a girlfriend who can eat like me -- Niall Horan
My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings. -- Jay London
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I'd always walk my girlfriend home, i'm too protective! -- Niall Horan
It must be hard just to be someone's girlfriend. -- Alice Evans
I don't have a girlfriend, I have a dog. -- Mark Hoppus
Music is my wife, and acting is my girlfriend. -- Mark Salling
I want my next girlfriend to be my wife. -- Daniel Matsunaga
Music is my wife and acting is my girlfriend. -- Mark Salling
Can't he be lonely and unbalanced around someone else's girlfriend? -- Kiersten White
I am generally cast as the dependable, affable, loving, friend-wife-girlfriend. -- Rashida Jones
Where's the line between professional girlfriend, and just plain professional? -- Sarah Jessica Parker
If you want to do something dangerous... Don't tell your girlfriend! -- Christopher Titus
You brought me grenades. You are officially the best girlfriend ever. -- Rachel Caine
I think it's cool when an ex-girlfriend becomes an XL girlfriend. -- Demetri Martin
What calmed me down finally was when my girlfriend got pregnant. -- Johnny Knoxville
Aren't you going to introduce your little girlfriend to your mother? -- Ally Carter
Think of your girlfriend or boyfriend or whomever you want to. -- Eugene Ormandy
My ex girlfriend was exquisite, and my current one is quisite. -- Jarod Kintz
I got caught kissing my dad's ex-girlfriend - at his wedding! -- Lee Ryan
I'm 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me, back of the net! -- Steve Coogan
You will not kill my girlfriend today, International Terrorists of Ambiguous Nationality! -- John Green
Leaving America is like losing twenty pounds and finding a new girlfriend. -- Phil Ochs
I do not have a 24-year-old girlfriend. I have another life altogether. -- Jens Lehmann
So it's a yes, then?" To blue-corn pancakes or being your girlfriend? -- Alyson Noel
My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading -- Steve Jobs
I gave my girlfriend something she didn't expect for Valentine's day... Chlamydia. -- Frankie Boyle
My girlfriend still doesn't know why her sweaters are always stretched out. -- Ed Wood
London is like a girlfriend I loved, then really fell out with. -- Lapo Elkann
My girlfriend is rap. Music and albums and records and my kids. -- Mystikal
Tell your girlfriend or wife you love them everyday. Like I do! -- Godfrey
I'm a bad boyfriend. She's a bad girlfriend. We deserve each other. -- John Green
The marathon is my only girlfriend. I give her everything I have. -- Toshihiko Seko
My girlfriend and I just had make-up sex. We both wore make-up. -- Randy Kagan
If I got a girlfriend, I'd feed her playfully all of the time. -- Niall Horan
My girlfriend thinks I look like a reptile - it's not the best. -- Andy Murray
When I have a girlfriend, I feel caged in, I don't know why -- Scott Baio
I'm getting pretty worried. My girlfriend hasn't gotten her period. And she's already 14. -- Anthony Jeselnik
When you're wondering whether she's his daughter or his girlfriend, she's his girlfriend. -- Pamela Druckerman
A girlfriend? No thanks, I'd rather play nintendo and build my lego set! -- Zac Hanson
When I have a girlfriend, I feel caged in, I don't know why. -- Scott Baio
Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power failure. -- Bob Hope
Never get your girlfriend a pet that she didn't know she was getting. -- Emmy Rossum
I am not now, and never have been, a girlfriend of Henry Kissinger. -- Gloria Steinem
I love my girlfriend to bits. I'd never do anything to hurt her. -- Charlie Simpson
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met. -- Steven Wright
I have a girlfriend and she really keeps me grounded. Makes me normal. -- Ian Axel
Happiness is when you see your husband's old girlfriend and she's fatter than you. -- Croft M. Pentz
No girl wants a secretly gay boyfriend, every dude wants a secretly gay girlfriend. -- Joe Rogan
I'm really worried about my girlfriend's morals ... she has NEXT written on her knickers. -- Frank Carson
My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. -- Wendy Higgins
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Despite what your girlfriend may have told you, size is important, bigger is better. -- Gene Simmons
My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing. -- Zach Galifianakis
He wrote to his father every day. His platoon called his dad a girlfriend. -- Noorilhuda
If I had a girlfriend I would write her letters instead of using Twitter. -- Bill Kaulitz
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Anyone who says I would never hit a woman hasn't met my x girlfriend. -- Dov Davidoff
I'm the type of rock star that likes to have a girlfriend, you know? -- Kanye West
My girlfriend said she wanted me to tease her, so I said "Alright, fatty." -- Jimmy Carr
Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband's girlfriend. -- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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