Mokokoma Mokhonoana quotes:

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Thanks to arranged marriages: There are countless women who have never been their husband's girlfriend.
Poor people do not go on holiday; they go home.
In a materialistic society, man is likely to value the opinion of a rich man over that of a poor one; even when coming to opinions that have absolutely nothing to do with moneymaking.
Divorce is not always a doorway to happiness. The same can be said about marriage.
School fools a lot of people. Professionally, one thing is not the most that one person can be.
Rich people read their bills. Poor people dread theirs.
Our thoughts, feelings and whereabouts: Food we dish up on plates called photographs and status updates; to feed Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc.; beasts with insatiable appetites.
For their holidays: the rich go see the world; the poor go see their parents.
The rich take life one financial year at a time. The poor take life one meal at a time.
A first-rate story is easily killed by second-rate design.
Narcissism is as profitable to a model as scruffiness is to a homeless person.
Life punishes those who have things in abundance by making them worry about petty things like: what to wear, or, which car to drive.
When the going gets tough: the poor close their eyes, the rich open their wallets.
When a man cheats, it is said it is because he is a dog. When a woman cheats, it is said it is because her man is a dog.
12% of people marry because they are completely in love. 88% of people marry just so they are then liable for only half of their rent.
Religion makes people kill each other. Science supplies them with weapons.
The rich are poor without the poor's acknowledgment of money.
To become richer, earn more. To appear richer, move into a poorer neighborhood.
The rich spend their life living; the poor spend their life making a living.
Not every happy person is rich, and, Not every rich person is happy.
A live broke man is 'luckier' than a dead rich man.
Life enslaves the poor by giving them problems that money can resolve, or, dissolve
When rich, being poor seems *adventurous.*
If life really begins at forty, then all poor people die in their teens.
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.
To a homeless man, home is literally where the heart is.
When it comes to sex: some men treat women as objects; some women treat objects as men.
Most women have low standards. All they strive for is a highly paid man.
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with, or, the number of things that he is willing to do for a woman.
When coming to sex: First served, first come.
There is a correlation between the number of days since a man last had sex, and, the number of women that he is convinced he is in love with.
Homophobia is the ignorant and arrogant assumption that copulation and reproduction is all there is to a relationship.
A salary is, to a man's employer, what his wife's vagina is to his wife: a tool used to (1) reward; and (2) control him.
Marriage converts a player into a polygamist.
Girls like well-built boys. Women love well-paid men.
The employed are punished by having to do what they do not love. The self-employed are punished by the opposite.
Most self-employed people remain slaves to the employed's working hours.
Self-employed people work where they live. Entrepreneurs live where they work.
Miracles' rely on their observer's ignorance. 'Perfection' relies on the observer's failure to notice the observed's defects.
We are all 'foreigners' to [the remainder of: the human race minus our countrymen].
Insurance companies sell what might happen tomorrow. Historians sell what certainly happened yesterday.
Tomorrow is like 'there.' Once you get 'there,' it is called 'here.' So, technically, life is a set of Todays.
When a joker dies, the joke remains.
The name of a great writer is usually bigger than the title of his book. Both literally and figuratively.
Though you can get smart from reading everything that a smart person writes, you cannot get famous from reading about everything that a famous person does or is said to have done.
Back then: to be regarded as well-known, one had to be great. Today: to be regarded as great, one has to be well-known.
A celebrity is an object that the media manufactures today, just so they have a subject tomorrow.
Back then: to be paid more, one needed to increase the number of things that are by him known. Today: to be paid more, one needs to increase the number of people by whom he is known.
For an entrepreneur: wealth invites fame. For a celebrity: fame invites wealth.
To put an arrogant 'famous' singer in her place: pretend to be deaf.
To put an arrogant 'famous' writer in his place: pretend to be illiterate.
Compared with lesbians, gays seem to be more unapologetic about their sexual orientation. The former must not have balls.
A writer is merely a reader that had the guts to be read, and, heard.
Men did not need to have balls to have balls.
Those who lack the guts to create critic.
Reality is what people who lack vision see.
A genius is a grown-up that did not grow up.
To a misogynist: To err is woman.
For the duration of his erection: To a horny man, all women are the most beautiful woman in the world.
The present is an eternal attempt to separate the past from the future.
The present is the closest that you will ever get to the future.
Contrary to popular belief: Knowing where you are from will not really tell you where you are going. It will merely tell you why you are where you are.
Thou shalt not use the 140 characters limit as an excuse for bad grammar and/or incorrect spelling.
Primary purposes of a mirror: (1) To help civilized men realize their imperfections, and, (2) To help the imperfect hide their imperfections.
Ambition is greed without makeup.
A makeover is the rebranding of a human being.
Graphic designers judge a cover by its book.
To a fireman, wind is a curse. To a sailor, wind is a blessing.
Man usually sees what he is looking for; seldom what he is looking at.
The definition of 'Employment' by an employer, and, that by an employee, are seldom the same.
One-night stands were invented to free men from worrying about the size of their penis. And to free women from worrying about the size of their stretch marks.
All civilized wo/men are prostitutes: Some sell what's between their legs; the rest sell what's between their ears.
Schooling is a manufacturing process whereby the raw material called curious boys is turned into products called obedient men.
Chances are that there are white people who brag about being the first to move out of a suburb that has been intruded by blacks.
A 'black' man who draws a 'black' person with big lips is called observant. A 'white' man who does the same is called a racist.
Prostitutes are paid for taking their clothes off. Celebrities are paid for putting others' clothes on.
A celebrity's body is an advertiser's canvas.
If we were rational enough to judge what we are fed based on what we are fed, those in the business of selling us hope (i.e., public speakers, presidents, priests, etc.) wouldn't wear suits.
Wearing: shorts + a jersey = a visual oxymoron.
Life is a terminal illness.
Being forever available to the rest of the world is overrated. I mean, what are 'missed calls' invented for?
For the most expensive way to realize an orgasm, men open their wallets. For the cheapest, they close their eyes.
Masturbation = Imagination + Activity. Worry = Imagination + Negativity.
A slice of bread eaten is a million times more nourishing than a loaf of bread imagined.
To masturbate is to imagine: physically.
A healthy man watched what he ate. An intelligent man watched what he watched.
For good health, watch what you eat. For a good head, watch what you watch.
If history really forever repeats itself: then, it has always been then.
A historian is a risk-terrified prophet.
Historians predict the past for a living.
When ready to settle down: women are more interested in where the man is going; men are more interested in where the woman has been.
We are slaves whose masters are dead. For we are mostly controlled by doctrines which were established centuries heretofore.
A 'good man' is a male creature that survives the endless episodes that its woman spends complaining about women who she hates, and, women who hate her.
A moral judgment of abortion is the usage of a man-made ideology to judge a man-made technology.
No single bad person regards themselves as a bad person.
If God really valued loyalty, He would have blessed every single believer before He even considered blessing a single nonbeliever.
Time limps when you are not having fun.
Memories rob us of the present.
Some kid asked what a dilemma is. And I replied: When a starving man has to choose between a plate of food, and, a roll of toilet paper.
You cannot sensibly expect a starving 'God-fearing' man to honor the 8th commandment.
Faith does not make things happen. It merely breeds perseverance; which helps one persist in making things happen.
Being a 'good' parent is more about the parent, and, less about the 'supposedly-could-have-been-bad' child.
Capitalism has turned human beings into commodities. To the owner of a restaurant: the cook and a bag of potatoes are equally important.
To the family of a victim of a fatal accident, the deceased was at the wrong place at the wrong time. To the family of the morgue owner, the deceased was at the right place at the right time.
Profitable bookstores sell books. Unprofitable book sellers store books.
A rumor is usually a lie that the media can legally profit from.
Multitudes speak of their first love; seldom about their last hate.
Thou shalt not tweet to be retweeted.
Thou shalt not unfollow someone, merely because they stopped following you.
Thou shalt not follow someone, merely because they are following you.
Thou shalt not think that thou be a leader, merely because thee be having more than 0 followers.
Interviews were invented to make journalism less passive. Instead of waiting for something to happen, journalists ask someone what should or could happen.
Needs are imposed by nature. Wants are sold by society.
Literacy makes man a victim of advertising. Education makes him a victim of employment.
A newspaper is an oversized book with adverts and an expiry date.
A church service starts and ends with a prayer. A magazine starts and ends with an advert.
When reading a book, you are sold what some writer thought. When reading a newspaper, you are sold what someone did, and, what some advertiser made.
The news is glorified gossip.
Between Monday and Saturday men make an audience. On Sunday, they make a congregation.
To see what they look like, women look at a mirror. To look like what they see, women read magazines.

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