Manny Quotes in Transformers (2007)

Bobby Bolivia: Hey Manny!

Manny: What?

Bobby Bolivia: Get your cousin outta that clown costume. Havin' that heat stroke again. Scarin' white folks.

Clown: I'm hot! Makeup's melting, hurts my eyes!

[first lines]

Manny: [practicing sneezes] That's a funny one. Isn't that funnier?

Manny: [Himself and Ann are now fired after their theater closes] Ann it's no use. The show's over. It's done. I'm done! I'm leaving Annie. I'm going back to Chicago. I'm sorry. I'm sorry Annie. Ever since you were small people have been letting you down. You got to think for yourself now. Oh I know what you are thinking. Fate comes along and snatches it away but not this time Annie. Not this time.

Manny: What are you doing here?

Barb Wire: [holds up a cigarette] Looking for a light. Got one?

Manny: [laughing] I don't smoke.

[Barb shoots him in the head with a mini-dart from the fake cigarette]

Barb Wire: Neither do I.

Manny: Buck, when exactly did you lose your mind?

Buck: [thinks a moment] Three months ago. I woke up a morning married to a pineapple... An "ugly" pineapple.

[sighs lovingly]

Buck: But I loved her...

Buck: Mammals, we have ourselves a crime scene. Tuff of fur. Half-eaten carcass. Hunk of... aaugh! No! Broccoli!

[almost throws up]

Buck: Here's what I think happened: dinosaur attacks Sid, Sid fights back with broccoli, leaving dinosaur... a vegetable!

Diego: Are you nuts? Sid's not violent. Or coordinated.

Manny: Yeah, and where's the dinosaur?

Buck: All right, good point. Theory two: Sid's eating broccoli, dinosaur eats Sid, dinosaur steps on broccoli, leaving broccoli... a vegetable!

Diego: [to Manny, about possibly staying] This is my kind of place.

Buck: [Pick up a rock like it's a cellphone] Hello? No... No I can't really talk right now... Going to retrive a dead sloth. No, I know. They're following ME! Yeah, and they think I'M crazy! O-Okay... We're going into the Chasm of Death, I'm going to lose you. Yeah. O-Okay.

[quietly]

Buck: I... I love you too. Goodbye... Goodbye!

[throws the rock aside]

Buck: Let's get a move on, shall we?

Manny: [to Diego] That'll be YOU in three weeks.

Manny: [looking at Eddie & Crash singing] Are you crazy?

Diego: [lets go of his breath, in a squeaky voice] Its not poison!

[surprised by his voice, he laughs hysterically with Eddie & Crash]

Crash: [in a squeaky voice] That is Sooo Disturbing!

Buck: [from the other side] Stop laughing! All of you!

Crash: [in a squeaky voice, mimicking Bucks accent] Stop Laughing all of you!

[All laugh hysterically]

Manny: [in a squeaky voice, mimicking Bucks accent] Whats rule number 1?

[All laugh hysterically]

Ellie: They are just laughing, what's so bad about that?

Buck: They died laughing!

[points down the chasm at laughing skeletons of dinosaurs]

Ellie: [gasps] Stop laughing!

Manny: [in a squeaky voice] You know whats funny though? We are trying to save Sid, and now we are all gonna die!

[all laugh hysterically]

Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] And i don't even like Sid!

Crash: [in a squeaky voice] Who does? He's an idiot!

[All laugh hysterically]

Diego: [in a squeaky voice] Thats for getting me into this mess! Its the most fun i've had in years!

Manny: [in a squeaky voice] Thank YOU, for deserting the herd, that was totally SUPER!

[moment of silence and then they all laugh hysterically]

Manny: [All notice Buck above the cage trying to release it free and holding his breath, Manny begins to tickle him with his trunk] Coo chee Coo chee Coo!

Buck: [In a normal voice] Stop That!

[gasps]

Buck: Don't you see?

[in a squeaky voice]

Buck: We are all gonna die!

[All look at him and begin laughing hysterically including Buck]

Ellie: [on the other side] I gotta do everything huh?

[Ellie releases the rope and sets the cage loose]

Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Sometimes, i wet my bed!

Crash: [in a squeaky voice] Thats alright, sometimes I wet your bed!

[All Laugh hysterically]

Manny: [the cage reaches the other side and everyone apart from Buck tumbles out breathing for air while laughing. In a normal voice] Uhhh, I'm not sure how much of that you could hear...?

Manny: Oh i heard all of it

Eddie: [to crash] You wet my bed?

Crash: That was just gas talk dude.

Manny: [Sid guards the three baby Tyrannosaurs from an adult] Sid! Give them to her! She's their mother!

Sid: How do I know she's their mother?

Manny: What do you want, a birth certificate? She's a *dinosaur*!

Manny: Oh, we need a code word. Yeah, something that says, "the baby's coming."

Ellie: [thinks a moment] How about, "Aaah! The baby's coming!" How's that?

Manny: Nah, too long. We need something short and punchy, like, uh... "peaches"!

Ellie: Peaches?

Manny: I love peaches. They're sweet and round and fuzzy, just like you.

Ellie: You think I'm round?

Manny: Uh... Round is good. Round is foxy!

Manny: Sid, you're gonna have a family too someday. You're gonna meet a nice girl, with... with low standards, no real options, or sense of smell...

Eddie: So, Why do they call it the Chasm of Death?

Buck: Well, We tried big smelly crack but uh, that just made everybody giggle!

Manny: Well now what?

Buck: [Buck pulls on a cord and a large ribcage on a vine appears] Madam...?

[gestures for Ellie to get on]

Manny: Whoa! She is not doing that!

Buck: Bup bup bup bup! Rule number 1...?

Eddie: Ooh ooh ooh!

[raises his hand in the air]

Buck: Ah! Come on mammoth! You're supposed to have a good memory!

Ellie: Always listen to Buck!

[walks onto the rib cage]

Buck: Now eyes forward, Back straight and

[quietly]

Buck: breath in the toxic fumes and you'll probably die.

Ellie: TOXIC FUMES?

Buck: Just another day in paradise!

[cuts the vine to release the rib cage]

Manny: Wait!

Buck: GERONIMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Manny: [moment of silence and then sees the empty ribcage move towards them] Ellie? You okay?

Ellie: [calling from the other side] You have to try this!

Buck: Alright! Now Pile on everyone! Couldn't be easier!

Buck: [the cage is stranded in the middle of the fumes] Don't panic! Just some uh technical Difficulties! Keep holding it in boys!

Eddie: [Stops holding his breath] I cant take it anymore!

Crash: He breathed it!

[gasps]

Crash: now I'm breathing it!

[crash & eddie make choking noises]

Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Hey! We're not dead!

Crash: [in a squeaky voice] You sound ridiculous!

Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Me? You should hear you!

[Both laugh hard]

Eddie: [in a squeaky voice] Alright Alright. and a one, and a two...

Crash, Eddie: [in a squeaky voice, singing] Christmas, Christmas time is near...

Buck: [Using dinosaur skulls like they're talking using his own voice]

[skull one]

Buck: They'll never survive. It's dangerous out there by day.

Buck: [skull two] And it's even worse at night.

Buck: [skull one] Plus, their guide is a lunatic.

Buck: [skull two] You mean Buck? He's wacko.

Buck: I am not!

Buck: [brings up another skull on his foot] And his feet smell.

Buck: Oh, shut up!

Buck: [skull on his foot] You shut up.

[Buck grabs his foot with the skull on it]

Manny: He's strangling his own foot.

Ellie: Maybe we should keep going.

Buck: [skull three] What? And give Rudy a midnight snack? Not likely.

Buck: The skull's right. Take a load off, Manny. We'll camp here for the night. Now, who's hungry?

Buck: [skull three] I am!

Buck: You don't need the calories.

Manny: Well uh, We better get moving!

Diego: Aren't We forgetting something?

Buck: [Buck is sliding down the vine through the tocix fumes, in a squeaky voice] Here Rudy, Rudy, Rudy! HaHaHaHa Oh im so lonely!

Ellie: [Has a sudden contraction] Oohh! Manny! Pineapples!

Manny: Pineapples?

Ellie: Mangoes? Pomegranates? Grapefruits!

Diego: She's ordering a fruit salad!

Ellie: Oh come on, think... think! Peaches!

Manny: Peaches?

[realizes the code]

Manny: Peaches! The baby's coming! What are we gonna do?

Ellie: [a Tyrannosaurus has come forward] I thought those guys were extinct.

Manny: Well then, that is one *angry* fossil.

Manny: Don't move a muscle.

Molehog: [running] AAAAAAAH!

Ellie: [Talking about Sid being missing] This isn't your fault. It's bigger than both of us. We have to get Sid

Manny: Yeah. But if I have been a better friend to him... we wouldn't be here.

Buck: [interrupts] Better friend, Are you pluckin' my whiskers? You risked your life, your mate and your baby to save your buddy! Not the best husband or father... but a darn good friend!

Sid: Fine, I understand. You have your family. I'll just go raise them alone... by myself. In my fortress of solitude. In the ice. A lone, lonely loner.

Manny: That's a lot of aloneness.

Sid: Precisely!

Ellie: Manny! Pineapples!

Buck: Pineapples?

Manny: She gets cravings.

Ellie: Pomegrantes? Grapefruits! Nectarines?

Diego: She's ordering a fruit cocktail.

Ellie: Come on, think! Peaches!

Manny: Peaches? Peaches! The baby! What, what now?

Diego: This? Not good.

Manny: [Freaking out] The baby's coming!

[to Crash and Eddie]

Manny: Did you guys hear that? Cause sometimes I imagine it in my head, but...

Crash: Can you try to hold it in?

Ellie: Can somebody slap him for me?

Eddie: [Slaps Crash] Done and done.

Manny: Just sit tight. We're coming!

Manny: Ellie!

Ellie: [Hiding contraction from Manny] I'm fine! I'm just taking my time - --

[screams as rock formation begins to give way under her]

Manny: Ellie! Whoa!

Ellie: [Trying to balance] Manny!

Manny: Get to the ledge!

Manny: After we rescue Sid, I'm going to kill him.

Manny: I feel so... puny.

Ellie: [Manny and Diego are trapped by a meat-eating plant] That's it, I'm tearing that thing out through the root.

Buck: Do that, and it'll clamp shut forever.

Ellie: What?

Buck: Calm down, preggers. Don't get your trunk in a knot. I'll have them out of there before they're digested.

Manny: Digested?

Buck: They'll be nothing but bones in three minutes. Well, maybe five for the fat one.

Manny: I'm not fat!

Manny: Sid, whatever you're doing, it's a bad idea.

Sid: Shh! My kids will hear you.

Manny: They're not your kids, Sid. Take them back. You're not meant to be a parent.

Sid: Why not?

Manny: First sign: stealing someone else's eggs. Second sign: one of them almost became an omelet.

Manny: Don't ever yabba-dabba-do that again!

Buck: There's only one thing to do. Possums, come with me. Manny, you stay and take care of her.

Manny: You can't leave now! She's off the trail! What about rule number two?

Buck: Rule number 5 says you can ignore rule number 2 if there's a female involved, or possibly a cute dog. You know, I just make up these rules as I go along.

Manny: Bring it on you chicken-headed freaks!

Ellie: [Grabs fern] Here, boy! Here! Come on! Good boy! Come on! Climb on.

Manny: Are you nuts? We're not getting on that thing!

Ellie: It's either this dinosaur or that one! Pregnant lady wants to live! Yabba-dabba-doo!

[Slides down dinosaur's back]

Manny: Guys don't talk to guys about guy problems. They just... punch each other on the shoulder.

Ellie: That's stupid!

Manny: To a girl... To a guy that's like six months of therapy!

Diego: [trapped in man-eating plant with Manny] I feel... tingly.

Manny: Don't say that when you're pressed up against me!

Diego: Not that kind of tingly!

Manny: I can feel it too!

Manny: [Buck looking very spaced out by Crash and Eddie's lack of understanding his eye prospect turns to Manny who said in a slight sarcastic voice] Welcome to my world!

Manny: Guys don't talk to guys about guy problems. They just... punch each other on the shoulder.

Ellie: That's stupid!

Manny: To a girl. To a guy that's like six months therapy! Fine.

[walks over to Diego, punches him in shoulder]

Diego: Ouch. What was that for?

Manny: [pause] I don't know.

Diego: [laughing under the effects of the toxic fumes in the Chasm of Death] Thanks for getting me into this mess. It's the most fun I've had in years.

Manny: Thank *you* for deserting the herd. That was totally super!

[Both break out laughing]

Manny: Have you seen my thighs?

Manny: [after listening to Buck's dream] That's bullshit. You're not gonna do nothin' like that. I'll tell you what you gonna do. You gonna get a job. That's what you gonna do. You're gonna get a little job. Some job a convict can get, like scraping off trays in a cafeteria. Or cleaning out toilets. And you're gonna hold onto that job like gold. Because it is gold. Let me tell you, Jack, that is gold. You listenin' to me? And when that man walks in at the end of the day. And he comes to see how you done, you ain't gonna look in his eyes. You gonna look at the floor. Because you don't want to see that fear in his eyes when you jump up & grab his face, and slam him to the floor, and make him scream & cry for his life. So you look right at the floor, Jack. Pay attention to what I'm sayin', motherfucker! And then he's gonna look around the room - see how you done. And he's gonna say "Oh, you missed a little spot over there. Jeez, you didn't get this one here. What about this little bitty spot?" And you're gonna suck all that pain inside you, and you're gonna clean that spot. And you're gonna clean that spot. Until you get that shiny clean. And on Friday, you pick up your paycheck. And if you could do that, if you could do that, you could be president of Chase Manhattan... corporations! If you could do that.

Buck: Not me, man! I wouldn't do that kind of shit. I'd rather be in fuckin' jail.

Manny: More's the pity, youngster. More's the pity.

Buck: Could you do that kind of shit?

Manny: I wish I could.

Sara: [tearfully] You're an animal!

Manny: No, worse! Human. Human!

Rankin: You're as afraid to die as anybody else, and I never let you free. You hear me?

Manny: I am free, Rankin. I am free.

Manny: You do what you have to do, I'll do what I have to do. Whatever happens, happens.

Manny: Win, lose, what's the difference?

Sara: Hold me. I don't want to die alone.

Buck: We gonna be all right.

Sara: Yeah.

Buck: We gonna be fine.

Manny: Ha,ha. We all die alone.

Manny: I can last nine more months for an appeal. I can stand on my head nine months

Manny: [after Buck convinces him to take Buck with him during the escape, while rubbing himself with axle grease] Son of a bitch. Okay, fool, Get your clothes off and grease down.

Buck: [while running behind Manny through the tundra] Manny, I don't wanna die!

Manny: I'm hurtin' too!

Buck: At least you got shoes!

Sara: [after Manny says he will jump from the moving train] If you jump here, you're gonna break every bone in your body, and then what?

Manny: They been broke before.

Manny: You got real guts! More guts than brains!

Sara: What did you say?

Manny: No brains!

Sara: That's mean!

Manny: That's the truth!

Jonah: [while watching Buck boxing] The Kid can fight.

Manny: That's worth about 2 dead flies

Manny: [Buck bangs on a locked locker, making noise] Freeze, Sucker!

Buck: Hey man, nobody's going to hear us.

Manny: Just don't do it.

Buck: [Buck points his finger at Manny] Hey Manny, You don't treat me like your punk, OK.

Ava: I have to finish this.

Ava: "When all the bastards are gone and dead, only then rest your head."

Manny: That's cheery.

[Jewel continues to bug Manny to get an exclusive with Bobby Rayburn]

Jewel Stern: You're saying there's absolutely no way you can get your boy to talk to me? Is that what you're saying? He's gotta talk to me.

Manny: I'm saying he'd rather nail his penis to a burning building, is what I'm saying, okay?

Manny: [Manny continues to talk on the phone] No, I'm not talking to you, I'm talking to her.

[Jewel and Manny talk for the first time at the Giants ballpark]

Manny: Well, well, well. If it isn't Jewel, my favorite token female sports reporter.

Jewel Stern: Blow me, Manny.

Manny: Yeah, I would, but you haven't had all your shots, babe.

[Manny tries to tell Bobby Rayburn to come out of the game before he injures himself worse]

Manny: I'm telling you, that media will turn on you faster than the fans. Listen to me, you gotta come out, okay?

Bobby Rayburn: I can't come out. On account of you, I gotta be Babe fuckin' Ruth!

Manny: It's William fuckin' Bendix! Can you get it right!

[Bobby argues with Manny over needing to be number 11]

Bobby Rayburn: I'm not playing with number 33. Okay, you understand me?

Manny: I know. I understand. Just be cool. Let me take care of it.

Stook: You know, three times 11 is 33. Maybe you'll play three times better.

[as Manny walks the Giants staff member away]

[Manny tries to make Bobby feel better about his new number 33]

Manny: Look, Jesus Christ was 33 when he died. People are still talking about him.

Bobby Rayburn: Jesus Christ? Give me my damn number!

[Manny tells Bobby about seeing the sick kid in the hospital]

Manny: Spalding wants you to sign their balls. Before that we got that Wish Upon a Star routine. Sick kid in the hospital wants to shake hands with great baseball player.

Manny: [Manny sarcastically then says] You'll have to do.

[Bobby finds out from Manny that he has to pay Primo $500,000 for his number 11 back]

Manny: Exactly. That's 250 G's a digit.

Bobby Rayburn: Oh, man, come on. What is this boy smokin'?

Manny: Look, I tried to haggle them down. I called the kid myself, and he says it's his lucky number.

Bobby Rayburn: Luck? Shit, there ain't that much luck in the world. He's lucky to be in the fuckin' country!

[Manny calls Jewel a castrating ball buster]

Manny: Bernie, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't she the castrating ball buster who had the temerity to ask my client if he was honestly worth 40 million?

Jewel Stern: [Jewel turns to Bernie] Am I a ball-buster?

Bernie: Yeah.

Manny: Thank you!

[Jewel sees a soda can in front of her and takes a drink out of it]

Jewel Stern: Whose is this?

Manny: It's mine. I spit in it.

[Jewel quickly spits the soda out]

[Manny checks on Bobby while the doctor checks him out after the bad collision]

Manny: Doc, is the rib bruised or fractured?

Bobby Rayburn: [Bobby painfully replies] Neither

[Bobby asks Manny if the sick kid in chemo ever saw the home run]

Manny: Oh, Bobby. Bobby, the kid didn't even see it. He slipped into a coma in the first inning and never pulled out. I'm sorry.

Bobby Rayburn: How come you didn't tell me that, man?

Manny: Like you take bad news really well, huh? What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, I got great news. The kid didn't make it. Have a good one.'

[Manny congratulates Bobby on being back after that scary collision, hitting a home run]

Manny: You knocked the goddamn cover off that ball. You're back!

Bobby Rayburn: The hell I did. It was a fluke. I never even saw the pitch.

[Manny finally agrees to do the Bobby and Jewel interview]

Manny: You still want that interview?

Jewel Stern: Are you serious? You would let Bobby Rayburn do an interview with a - What was it?

Bernie: [Bernie answers] Castrating ball buster.

Jewel Stern: Castrating ball buster, that's right. I thought I was off your list, man.

Manny: Come on, Schindler has a list, not me. Okay? When you're hitting .183, you don't get a chance to have a list.

[Bobby starts to feel guilty for Primo's death as he talks to Manny]

Manny: You know, Bobby. I wish five people dead on my drive to work everyday; five people. But wishing doesn't make it so, Bobby. You're not God, lifetime averages withstanding.

Bobby Rayburn: Yeah? Well, why do I feel so bad then, huh?

Manny: I don't know. I don't... you know, this is gonna blow the hell out of my shithead theory. But I think you feel guilty. Oh, Jesus Harry Christ. You know, I've been wrong about you all these years. You're not a shithead at all. I'm fucking flabbergasted.

Manny: [Crash and Eddie keep drumming all the time] Do you mind?

Crash: He sucks the fun out of everything.

Eddie: FUNSUCKER!

Manny: [from trailer] Hey, look, shooting stars!

Sid: Ooh, quick, make a wish! You gotta make a wish!

[One of the meteors catapults him on top of a tree]

Manny: Wow, my wish came true.

Sid: I'm okay!

[flames from the meteor burnt him]

Diego: Mine too.

Manny: [Playing hockey with Peaches] He fakes left, he fakes right...

Peaches: He fakes knowing how to play!

Manny: If my best friend hides his farts from me then what else is he hiding from me, and why does that make me feel so alone?

Hank: Because I'm just a scared, ugly, useless person.

Manny: But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. Maybe we're all just dying sacks of shit, and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that, and then the whole world will be dancing and singing and farting, and everyone will feel a little bit less alone.

Hank: Manny, you have no idea how nice that sounds.

Manny: When I masturbate, I'm gonna think about your mom.

Manny: But maybe everyone's a little bit ugly. Yeah, maybe we're all just ugly, dying sacks of shit and maybe all it'll take is one person to just be okay with that.

Manny: I have a lot of questions about all the things you just said.

Manny: I'm scared because I fear if I die I might really miss you.

Hank: Oh you're the worst.

Manny: Girls must be so nice to let guys do all these things to them.

Hank: Maybe that's just something the brain invents to survive.

Manny: Yeah. Like maybe your brain invented me to distract you from the fact that eventually your eyes are gonna stop blinking and your mouth will stop chewing and your blood will stop pumping and then you're gonna shit yourself. And that's it.

Hank: No. No, that's not it. Because then my organs are going to shit themselves.

Manny: And then your cells will shit themselves, and then all your shit's gonna get mixed in with everyone else's shit till there's nothing left of you, and then that's it.

Hank: I don't know, man. That sounds kind of nice, everyone's shit mixing, because then someday some of your shit is gonna meet up with some of my shit, and we'll have something to look forward to, you know?

Manny: You're disgusting.

Manny: So now when you masturbate you think about your mom?

Manny: My names Manny and this is my best friend Hank. I used to be dead and he brought me back to life.

Hank: The important, for now, is to find what was your life

Manny: What is life?

Manny: Hey buddy!

Manny: We're gonna die. That's a thought. Everybody dies. I'm sorry if this makes me weird or you don't understand, but I wish I was dead again.

Manny: Boobs, vaginas and butts.

Hank: OK Manny talk to her.

Manny: What I talk about?

Hank: Just whatever comes naturally.

Manny: hello!, I don't know why but I have the sudden urge to put my mouth on your mouth.

Hank: OK that's called kissing you can't do that yet is too fast.

Manny: Oh! how about if I put my penis on you.

Hank: That's even worse!

Manny: Oh! so sorry, what about if just the tip, like just the very beginning.

Hank: OK Manny is not about sex!

Manny: Oh God I'm disgusting. My body is disgusting.

Manny: Is this crying? I don't like it. It's wet and uncomfortable.

Manny: Hurry before you starve and die.

Manny: What is Netflix?

Manny: You wanna go home, so you can have love?

Hank: Yeah.

Manny: But you ran away 'coz nobody loves you?

Hank: That's not true.

Manny: You're broken and empty and dirty and smelly and useless and old. You're like trash, right?

Manny: You listen to me, my boy. I've made a living out of being a failure, and you, sir, are not a failure.

Manny: I now summon the voice of Confucius...

Fly: Get off the stage, you old hag!

Manny: Huh? I demand to know who said that?

[Manny is pelted with fruit]

Manny: How dare you? Ingrates!

[leaves]

Gypsy: [inside box] Manny? Manny?

Manny: Utilizing psychic vibrations, I shall select the perfect volunteer.

Molt: Oh, oh, oh, oh! Pick me! Oh, oh! C'mon, I'm asking you with my brain.

Flik: Oh, great ones! I have been scouting for bugs with your exact talents!

Rosie: A talent scout!

Flik: My colony is in trouble. Grasshoppers are coming. We've been forced to prepare all this food.

Manny: Dinner theater!

Heimlich: Food?

Flik: Please, will you help us?

Fly: Where are they?

Slim: We'll take the job!

Gypsy: Manny, we're on.

Manny: Oh? Yet again it is up to me to rescue the performance. Gypsy, come.

[exits; offscreen crash]

Gypsy: The stage is the other way dear.

Manny: Yes, of course.

[Sid's trying to use the baby to get attention from girls]

Sid: I'm begging you. I need him.

Manny: What, a good-looking guy like you?

Sid: Aw, you say that, but you don't mean it.

Manny: No, seriously, look at you. Aw, those ladies, they don't stand a chance.

Sid: You have a very cruel sense of humor.

Sid: [about the baby] I bet he's hungry.

Manny: How 'bout some milk?

Sid: Ooh, I'd love some!

Diego: Not you. The baby.

Sid: Well, I ain't exactly lactating right now, pal.

Diego: You're a little low on the food chain to be mouthing off, aren't you...

Manny: [in a shout that echoes] ENOUGH!

Diego: [playing peek-a-boo] Where's the baby?... There he is!

[the baby's only reaction is blinking; it is so startled it's quieted]

Diego: Where's the baby?... there he is!

Manny: [the baby begins crying again] Stop it, you're scaring him!

Sid: So she picks this hair off my shoulder, and says, "If you're gonna have a second mating dance, at least pick a sloth with the same color pelt." And I'm thinkin', "Whoa! She's gonna go praying-mantis on me." Know what I'm saying?

Manny: Hey, if you find a mate in life, you should be loyal. In your case, grateful. Now get away from me.

Manny: AAAH.

Diego: AAAH.

Sid: AAAH.

Roshan: WHEE.

[Morning arrives, Manny wakes up and feels for the baby in his trunk, only to discover that the Baby is gone. He stomps over to the sleeping Diego who wakes up with a start]

Manny: WHERE'S THE BABY?

Diego: You lost it?

[They look at each and notice Sid is not there]

Manny, Diego: [shouts] SID!

[Scene shows Sid with the baby in a jacuzzi like mud hot spring; using the baby as a 'chick magnet' to attract two female sloths]

Rachel: Oh, he's lovely. Positively adorable!

Jennifer: [baby-talking to the baby] Hello Pumpkin. Hello, little bunny baby...

Rachel: [to Sid] Where did you find it?

Sid: Ah, poor kid was all alone in the wild. Sabers were cornering him, So I just snatched it!

Rachel: Oh, so brave of you!

Sid: Yeah, well... He needed me...

[wistfully]

Sid: And I wished I had one of my own, too...

Jennifer: [excited] REALLY?

[she calms herself down]

Jennifer: I'm... I'm attracted that quality in a male.

Sid: [unaware that the baby is sinking into the mud hot spring] Who wouldn't be?

Rachel: [gushing] You caring for a baby...

Sid: [notices that Roshan the baby is gone and pulls the muddy baby up] Yeah, well... You know...

[the baby playfully throws mud on Sid's face; they both laugh]

Sid: [as he grabs something to wipe the mud off his face] Cute kid, huh? So, as I was saying ladies... uh...

[wipes the 'something' on his face, which is Manny's trunk; he realizes and gasps]

Sid: Oh, hey! Hey... Manny!

Manny: [taking the giggling baby away] What's the matter with you?

Sid: Hey, what's your problem?

Manny: *You* are my problem.

Sid: Well, I think you're stressed, and that's why you eat so much. I mean, it's hard to get fat on a vegan diet.

Manny: I'm not fat. It's all this fur. It makes me look... poofy.

Sid: Fine. You have fat hair. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here.

Manny: [to Sid; about the baby] What are doing? Just drop him on the ledge.

[Sid tosses the baby on the ledge, who giggles and then crawls forward]

Sid: [whispers] Should we make sure he found them?

Manny: Good idea!

Sid: [frantic] What? Wait, no! Wait, wait, wait...

[Manny throws Sid into the air]

Sid: AAAAAAHHHHH!

[He lands safely on the ledge]

Sid: [shrieking comically] Don't *SCARE ME*!

Manny: You are going to need a co-pilot.

Sam Sparks: You are a pilot, too?

Manny: Yes. I am also a particle physicist.

Sam Sparks: Really?

Manny: No, that was a joke. I am also a comedian.

Sam Sparks: We need a doctor! Is anyone here a doctor? Anyone?

Manny: I am a doctor.

Sam Sparks: You are?

Manny: I was, back in Guatemala. I came here for a better life. Pretty great decision, eh?

Brent: [Eating soup made by Manny] Dr. Manny, this is delicious!

Manny: I call it "Manny's Gorilla Stew"

Brent: So how do you make a gorilla stew?

Manny: You keep it waiting for 2 hours.

Brent: [from trailer] What is that?

Manny: Tacodile! Supreme!

Earl Devereaux: Brent, do you ever get the feeling that maybe Steve Lockwood is just a monkey?

Brent: Why would you say that about him, Earl? Why would you ever say that?

Barb: Of course he's just a monkey. How stupid are you people? No one should ever put any trust in a monkey.

Manny: Chester thinks you're a monkey.

Barb: Well, I'm an ape. Chester knows that.

Sam Sparks: But he calls you a monkey.

Manny: It is true, he does.

Barb: He's just joking around. Chester's my best friend.

Sam Sparks: If Chester was really your friend, would he still call you a monkey?

Diego: I don't know whats wrong with me: I can't eat, can't sleep; I think I'm coming down with something.

Manny: [chuckles] I know what you've got: the "L" word.

Sid: Yeah, leprosy!

Manny: No, Sid, no. It's four letters, starts with "L", ends with "E".

Sid: Ah, lice!

Manny: No. Diego, my friend, is in love.

Granny: [Jumps in ocean] Thanks for drawing my bath, Sidney.

Sid: Granny, grab my paw.

Granny: No way. This is my first bath in decades.

[Oil is seen around her and fish begin to pop up dead around her]

Diego: There's your proof.

Sid: Quick! Somebody do something!

[Manny throws Sid in]

Sid: I got you, Granny.

Granny: Get off of me!

Sid: Ow, ow, ow, ow! Granny!

[Gets her back in the ice berg]

Granny: [to Manny and Diego] What are you peeping toms all looking at?

[They turn around disturbed]

Granny: A lady can't take a bath in peace? Eyballing me like a rump roast.

Diego: What's the life expectancy for a female sloth?

Manny: She'll outlive us all, you know that, right? Yeah, the spifeful ones live the longest.

Manny: [lost at sea] I can't believe this, you slept through that storm?

Granny: [dismissively] Aah, I slept through the comet that killed the unicorns.

Peaches: So tell me, when exactly will I be allowed to hang out with boys?

Manny: When I'm dead. Plus three days, just to make sure I'm dead.

Sid: Mom, Dad, do you have Granny's teeth? She can't find them.

Granny: [Tries eating apple then tries to give to Sid] Hey! Can you chew this thing for me?

Sid: Ew, Guys? Where is everyone?

Diego: I'll handle this. Sid? Uh, your family was wiped out by an asteroid. Sorry.

Sid: What?

Manny: What Diego is trying to say is, they left. They only wanted to find you so you could take care of Granny.

Sid: Oh, come on, what kind of sick family would ditch their own Granny on someone? That's just crazy. That's just... That's just... my family.

Diego: At least you still have Granny. Right, buddy?

Sid: Yeah, Granny. Granny? Granny?

Ellie: Wow. For an old girl, she moves fast.

Manny: You two were supposed to be responsible uncles!

Crash: What? I didn't see Peaches sneak off maybe 15 or 20 minutes ago.

Eddie: Or that she went with Louis to the falls.

Manny: The falls? Where the delinquents go?

Ellie: Relax, it's just where the kids hang out.

Manny: No, no, it's a gateway hangout. First it's the falls, then she's piercing her trunk, and the next thing you know, she's addicted to berries.

Ellie: [Chuckling] Manny! You are overreacting. She's not gonna be your little girl forever.

Manny: I know. That's what worries me.

[first lines]

Manny: [upon hearing an earthquake] What, what was that? Ellie, did you hear that?

Ellie: I heard it, Manny; whatever it is, it's miles away.

Manny: Peaches, you all right? Where is she, no teenager is ever up early.

Manny: Captain Gutt... really? You know, I have a little paunch too but ah, I wouldn't name myself after it.

Captain Gutt: [mocking] That's funny; you're a funny guy. But that's not how I got my name.

[brandishes claws]

Captain Gutt: *These* got me my name!

Manny: [to Gutt on joining his crew] Look, as much as I'm tempted to join a monkey, the Easter Bunny and a giant bag of pudding, I'll pass. No one's gonna stop me getting back to my family.

Captain Gutt: [in the middle of a duel] You know this ocean isn't big enough for the both of us!

Manny: Don't worry, you won't take up much space once I flatten you!

Captain Gutt: [extending a "hand"] Morning, sunshine! Let me be the first to extend a hand of friendship.

Manny: That's your foot.

Sid: Granny?

Diego: Granny?

Manny: Granny?

Sid: Come out, come out wherever you are!

Manny: Come on, Granny.

Sid: Here, Granny, Granny. I have prunes for you! Just the way you like them!

[Spit them out of his mouth]

Diego: Ugh.

Manny: Aw! I don't wanna see that.

Manny: Just keep your eyes on the horizon!

Diego: I cant find the Horizon!

Manny: Ellie, you have to get out here! Go! Go now! Stay alive! No matter how long it takes, I will find you!

Manny: Just keep your eye on the horizon!

Diego: I can't find the horizon!

Manny: Oh good 'cause I have an announcement to make to Roy: I'm totally bake-aked!

Manny: [to Elvira] If you don't cough up the money, the only showroom you'll be seeing will have Toyotas in it.

Manny: No... no... no... you can't ask me to do that! You see... see... Carlo's got a long memory. He'll hunt me down and he'll eat me for breakfast. You know what I'm saying?

Agnes: Sounds like my kind of man!

Manny: Let me put it this way...

[pauses, then farts]

Manny: No.

[Tony is playing basketball with a group of friends]

Manny: ¡Tony! ¡Montana! ¡Tony Montana! Ven acá, man. Come here.

Tony Montana: ¿Qué te pasa?

[What's wrong with you?]

Manny: Come here, man. I gotta talk to you. Come on, man. It's important.

Tony Montana: So close, man.

Manny: Come on. Come on, man. I gotta talk to you.

Angel: [to Tony] Where are you going, man?

Manny: [to Angel] Leave him alone, okay?

Tony Montana: [to Angel] I got better things to do.

Angel: [to Tony] You're chicken, man. You almost made it.

[Tony and Manny walk away]

Manny: Are you ready for some good news?

Tony Montana: Sure. What you got, man?

Manny: We can be outta this place in 30 days. Not only that, but we got a green card and a job in Miami. Now are we made or are we made, man?

Tony Montana: What do we gotta do? Go to Cuba and hit the beard or what?

Manny: No, man, somebody else.

Tony Montana: You're kidding?

Manny: No.

Tony Montana: You're not kidding?

[Manny smiles]

Manny: Guy named Rebenga, man. Emilio Rebenga.

Tony Montana: Rebenga? Coño, man. I know that name.

Manny: Yeah?

Tony Montana: He's political.

Manny: Yeah. Well, he's coming in here today, man. Castro just sprung him. This guy, man, was one of the top dogs for Fidel in the early days. But Castro felt like he couldn't trust him anymore and threw him in jail. But while he was on top, he tortured a few guys to death. And one of the guy's brother is a rich guy in Miami now, and he wants the favor repaid. That's where we come in.

Tony Montana: Look at that... that cable truck there. Since when does it take three days to hook up cable?

Manny: What, you've been watching it for three days?

Tony Montana: The fuckin' thing has been there for three days! What am I gonna do? Not look at it?

Lola Nevado: Manny, listen, you can't go back to boxing.

Manny: Yes, I can.

Lola Nevado: If you do, I'm leaving.

Manny: [pauses] Know what the ring is called where I come from? "The Stage of the Brave." When you're up there, you're somebody. Even if you lose, you're somebody. But when you win... when you win, you're a god. You can't understand that.

Lola Nevado: Sure, I do... but you can get killed.

Manny: So?... So what?

Jack Stone: What's the most depraved thing you've ever seen, Manny? Think about it. Now think about whether or not you liked it. Real violence, it sells like the fucking Faces of Death, but do you wanna know the difference between that shit and my shit?

Manny: What's the difference, Jack?

Jack Stone: My shit is for real.

Manny: [after Jimmy and Janeane's fight] What was all that about, Smith?

Jimmy Smith Jr: I'm sorry Manny, it wasn't my... It won't happen again.

Manny: Good. Don't be bringing that shit around here. Now get back to work.

Manny: You've gotta learn to behave. Discipline. All you have to do is blow your music, grab the money and run. Now I know you've had a lot of tough breaks. You had the accident and we all cried. But that's 10 years now. You've got to snap out of it!