Judy Witwicky Quotes in Transformers (2007)

Judy Witwicky: [barging into Sam's bedroom, her husband in tow] Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?

Ron Witwicky: Judy...

Sam Witwicky: [frantic] Was I master... No, Mom!

Ron Witwicky: Zip it, okay?

Judy Witwicky: It's okay...

Sam Witwicky: No, I don't masturbate!

Ron Witwicky: That's not something for you to bring up.

Judy Witwicky: Okay.

Ron Witwicky: That's a father-and-son thing, okay?

Sam Witwicky: Father-son thing...

Judy Witwicky: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or...

Sam Witwicky: [amazed] Happy time?

Judy Witwicky: ...my special alone time...

Ron Witwicky: Judy, stop!

Judy Witwicky: ...with myself.

Sam Witwicky: Mom, you can't come in and...

Judy Witwicky: I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink.

[Ratchet runs into power lines, shocking him and causing a tremor throughout the neighborhood]

Ron Witwicky: [crawling under a table] Earthquake! Earthquake! Judy, get under the table!

Judy Witwicky: How did you get over there so fast?

[Outside, a dazed Ratchet staggers to his feet]

Ratchet: Wow... that was tingly! You gotta try that!

Ironhide: [sarcastic] Yeah, that looks fun...

Sam Witwicky: This... I can't do it anymore. You're putting girl jewelry on a boy dog.

Judy Witwicky: What?

Sam Witwicky: He's got enough self-esteem issues being a Chihuahua, Mom.

Judy Witwicky: That's his bling!

Judy Witwicky: Please for the love of God drive safely!

[Sam drives away with the Camaro in a massive cloud of black exhaust]

Judy Witwicky: Wow. You are so cheap.

Ron Witwicky: Well, it's his first car... supposed to be like that.

Ron Witwicky: [brandishing a bat, outside his son's door] 5... 4... It's comin' off the hinges, pal. 3... 2... stand back!

[as Ron gets ready to break the door down, Sam opens it]

Sam Witwicky: What's up?... What's with the bat?

Ron Witwicky: Who were you talking to?

Sam Witwicky: Talkin' to you!

Judy Witwicky: Why are you so sweaty and filthy?

Sam Witwicky: I'm a child, you know, I'm a teenager.

Judy Witwicky: Sam, we heard you talking to someone...

Sam Witwicky: Mom, I...

[Sam's parents fall silent and stare at Mikaela]

Mikaela: Hi, I'm Mikaela. I'm a... I'm a friend of Sam's.

[Judy starts giggling and chucks Sam on the shoulder]

Judy Witwicky: Gosh, you're gorgeous!

[turns to Ron]

Judy Witwicky: Isn't that the prettiest girl?

Sam Witwicky: She can hear you talking, Mom.

Judy Witwicky: They've got to get their hands off my bush!

Judy Witwicky: You hurt my dog, I'll kick your ass!

Judy Witwicky: You know, I think that if there really was some kind of... alien infestation... the Government would be the first to tell us.

Ron Witwicky: [fondling Mojo] Yeah... I mean, this is America.

Judy Witwicky: Yeah, that's how we know we're in a free country. There's no secrets. They'd say "Hey! Duck and cover!"

[watching the news broadcast of meteor crashes]

Judy Witwicky: What did he say?

Ron Witwicky: What?

Judy Witwicky: What did Jack say? Did he see it?

Ron Witwicky: Yeah he saw it. He thinks it's a military experiment.

Judy Witwicky: What a knucklehead.

Ron Witwicky: Yeah. I told him it was a plane.

Ron Witwicky: Sam!

Judy Witwicky: What?

Ron Witwicky: Sam!

Sam Witwicky: Mom! Dad!

[Rampage launches himself in front of Sam, tossing his parents around]

Sam Witwicky: Wait! WAIT!

Ron Witwicky: Sam, listen to me! I want you to run!

Sam Witwicky: Wait, wait, wai...

[Sam hears a whistle, and catches sight of a hidden Bumblebee... ]

Sam Witwicky: Okay...

[holds up his sock]

Sam Witwicky: Okay, this is what you want... and I know you need me, 'cause I know about the Matrix...

Rampage: [growling] Sam Witwicky...

Ron Witwicky: Sam, just go!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, listen to your father!

Ron Witwicky: Sam, they're gonna kill us all anyway!

Sam Witwicky: Look, just come over here and take it, don't harm them... okay. BUMBLEBEE!

[Bumblebee jumps on Rampage]

Sam Witwicky: Take 'im down, Bee!

[Soundwave tracks down the Witwickys in Paris]

Soundwave: Yeesss...

[makes a call]

Judy Witwicky: Hello? I mean, bon soir!

[hears Soundave breathing]

Judy Witwicky: What? Who is this?

Soundwave: Where is the boy?

Judy Witwicky: For Pete's sakes, I'm not impressed with your perverted mouth-breathing!

[hangs up]

[arriving at Sam's college]

Judy Witwicky: Look at this place! I feel smarter already! Can you smell that?

Ron Witwicky: Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year.

[after Bumblebee blasts the house to destroy the kitchen bots]

Judy Witwicky: Sam, Sam, listen to me... When you go, he goes. I cannot live with a psychotic alien in my garage!

Ron Witwicky: Judy, national security... Look, if we stay quiet, they're gonna take care of everything. Just consider this the official start of our remodel, okay?

Judy Witwicky: Fine. If the government's paying, I want a pool and a hot tub! And I'm gonna skinny-dip and you can't say shit about it!

Ron Witwicky: Let's go. March, young lady!

[to his son's horror, Ron slaps his wife's derriere]

Judy Witwicky: I love it when you call me "young lady," you dirty old man.

[goes upstairs giggling]

Ron Witwicky: You ain't seen nothing yet...

Sam Witwicky: Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!

Ron Witwicky: What?

Sam Witwicky: I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video.

Ron Witwicky: It's just like a coach thing.

Sam Witwicky: That was a really creepy move just now, Dad.

Mikaela Banes: You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

Sam Witwicky: And?

Mikaela Banes: I'd do anything for you.

Mikaela Banes: And?

Judy Witwicky: [watching intently] He's about to say the L-word?

Ron Witwicky: [impatient] Come on, kiddo.

Sam Witwicky: I... adore you.

Sam Witwicky: You don't stop, you don't hide. You run. You understand me?

Ron Witwicky: No!

Sam Witwicky: You've gotta let me go. You've gotta let me go.

Judy Witwicky: Let him go.

Ron Witwicky: You come back! YOU COME BACK!

Judy Witwicky: [high, to Ron] Hey, Professor, I'd do anything for an A!

Judy Witwicky: [touring Sam's college] People are sure friendly here. Some kids just gave me this bag of brownies.

Sam Witwicky: Mom, that's not a brownie! Don't take it!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, I am your mother and I can do what I want!

Ron Witwicky: Honey! They baked it with reefer!

Judy Witwicky: Sam Witwicky, you and I are gonna have a word!

[turns to Mikaela, who has just arrived at the house]

Judy Witwicky: Hi, Mikaela. I have a bald spot.

Judy Witwicky: [her house blown apart] Holy Mother...!

Judy Witwicky: Sam, I think for a job interview that you should wear real pants.

Sam Witwicky: I think for life, you should wear real pants.

Judy Witwicky: [Sees Sam's new car] Oh, what happened to Bumblebee?

Sam Witwicky: He's off on his missions. I had to get this for backup.

Ron Witwicky: Your car has a job, huh?

Judy Witwicky: Stop. What does it change into?

Sam Witwicky: It doesn't change into anything. It's a collector's item, Ma. I got it for a steal. It just needs some work. Trust me.

Judy Witwicky: No, I think it's darling. It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee... if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.