Ron Witwicky Quotes in Transformers (2007)


Ron Witwicky Quotes:

  • Judy Witwicky: [barging into Sam's bedroom, her husband in tow] Oh, for Pete's sakes! You are so defensive! Were you... masturbating?

    Ron Witwicky: Judy...

    Sam Witwicky: [frantic] Was I master... No, Mom!

    Ron Witwicky: Zip it, okay?

    Judy Witwicky: It's okay...

    Sam Witwicky: No, I don't masturbate!

    Ron Witwicky: That's not something for you to bring up.

    Judy Witwicky: Okay.

    Ron Witwicky: That's a father-and-son thing, okay?

    Sam Witwicky: Father-son thing...

    Judy Witwicky: I mean, you don't have to call it that word if that makes you uncomfortable... you can call it Sam's happy time or...

    Sam Witwicky: [amazed] Happy time?

    Judy Witwicky: special alone time...

    Ron Witwicky: Judy, stop!

    Judy Witwicky: ...with myself.

    Sam Witwicky: Mom, you can't come in and...

    Judy Witwicky: I'm sorry. It's just been a weird night. I've had a little bit to drink.

  • [Ratchet runs into power lines, shocking him and causing a tremor throughout the neighborhood]

    Ron Witwicky: [crawling under a table] Earthquake! Earthquake! Judy, get under the table!

    Judy Witwicky: How did you get over there so fast?

    [Outside, a dazed Ratchet staggers to his feet]

    Ratchet: Wow... that was tingly! You gotta try that!

    Ironhide: [sarcastic] Yeah, that looks fun...

  • Ron Witwicky: [drives past a Porsche dealer] I've got a little surprise for you, son.

    Sam Witwicky: No, no, no, no! Dad! Oh, you've got to be kidding me!

    Ron Witwicky: Yeah, I am. You're not getting a Porsche!


  • Sam Witwicky: Look, I can't be any clearer than how crystal clear I am being. It just stood up.

    Sheriff: It just stood up? Wow. That's really neat. Okay, chiefie. Time to fill her up...

    [hands Sam a container and a tissue]

    Sheriff: And no drippy-drippy. What are you rolling? Whippets? Goof balls? A little wowie sauce with the boys?

    Sam Witwicky: No, I'm not on any drugs!

    Sheriff: What's these?

    [shows Sam a bottle of pills]

    Sheriff: Found it in your pocket. "Mojo". Is that what the kids are doing now, a little bit of Mojo...?

    Sam Witwicky: Those are my dog's pain pills.

    Ron Witwicky: You know, a Chihauhua. A little...

    Sheriff: [annoyed] What was that?

    Sam Witwicky: Hmm?

    Sheriff: You eyeballing my piece, 50 Cent? You wanna go?

    [leans over Sam]

    Sheriff: Make something happen. Do it. 'Cause I promise you I will bust you up.

    Sam Witwicky: [whispers] Are you on drugs?

  • Bobby Bolivia: [about the Camaro] I'll let you have it for $5,000.

    Ron Witwicky: No, I'm not going above $4,000.

    Bobby Bolivia: The door just closed.

    [turns to Sam]

    Bobby Bolivia: Get out of the car.

    Sam Witwicky: Wait a minute? I thought you said "the car chooses its owner.",

    Bobby Bolivia: Yeah, well sometimes they pick a driver with a cheap-ass father!

  • Agent Simmons: Ronald Wikity?

    Ron Witwicky: It's Witwicky. Who are you?

    Agent Simmons: We're the government. Sector Seven.

    Ron Witwicky: Never heard of it.

    Agent Simmons: Never will.

  • Judy Witwicky: Please for the love of God drive safely!

    [Sam drives away with the Camaro in a massive cloud of black exhaust]

    Judy Witwicky: Wow. You are so cheap.

    Ron Witwicky: Well, it's his first car... supposed to be like that.

  • Ron Witwicky: You're not taking my son.

    Agent Simmons: Really? You gonna get rough with us?

    Ron Witwicky: No, but I'm gonna call the cops because there's something fishy going on around here.

    Agent Simmons: Yeah. There's something a little fishy about you, your son, your little Taco Bell dog and this whole operation you got going on here.

    Ron Witwicky: What operation?

    Agent Simmons: That is what we are gonna find out.

  • [Ron Witwicky walks towards a window]

    Optimus Prime: Quick, hide!

    Ratchet: Hide? Where?

    [the Autobots manage to get out of sight just as Ron looks outside]

    Ron Witwicky: Oh, no... look at the yard! The yard is destroyed! There's sparks flying all over the place... Judy, you better call the City, looks like they got a blown transformer! What a waste... Trashed! Gone!

    [appalled, he moves away]

  • Ron Witwicky: [brandishing a bat, outside his son's door] 5... 4... It's comin' off the hinges, pal. 3... 2... stand back!

    [as Ron gets ready to break the door down, Sam opens it]

    Sam Witwicky: What's up?... What's with the bat?

    Ron Witwicky: Who were you talking to?

    Sam Witwicky: Talkin' to you!

    Judy Witwicky: Why are you so sweaty and filthy?

    Sam Witwicky: I'm a child, you know, I'm a teenager.

  • Sam Witwicky: [in a used car showroom] You ever seen "The 40 Year Old Virgin"?

    Ron Witwicky: Yeah...

    Sam Witwicky: [points to a car] Well, you see this? This is the 40-year-old virgin...

    [points to another car]

    Sam Witwicky: And this is the 50-year-old virgin!

  • Judy Witwicky: You know, I think that if there really was some kind of... alien infestation... the Government would be the first to tell us.

    Ron Witwicky: [fondling Mojo] Yeah... I mean, this is America.

    Judy Witwicky: Yeah, that's how we know we're in a free country. There's no secrets. They'd say "Hey! Duck and cover!"

  • [watching the news broadcast of meteor crashes]

    Judy Witwicky: What did he say?

    Ron Witwicky: What?

    Judy Witwicky: What did Jack say? Did he see it?

    Ron Witwicky: Yeah he saw it. He thinks it's a military experiment.

    Judy Witwicky: What a knucklehead.

    Ron Witwicky: Yeah. I told him it was a plane.

  • Ron Witwicky: Sam!

    Judy Witwicky: What?

    Ron Witwicky: Sam!

    Sam Witwicky: Mom! Dad!

    [Rampage launches himself in front of Sam, tossing his parents around]

    Sam Witwicky: Wait! WAIT!

    Ron Witwicky: Sam, listen to me! I want you to run!

    Sam Witwicky: Wait, wait, wai...

    [Sam hears a whistle, and catches sight of a hidden Bumblebee... ]

    Sam Witwicky: Okay...

    [holds up his sock]

    Sam Witwicky: Okay, this is what you want... and I know you need me, 'cause I know about the Matrix...

    Rampage: [growling] Sam Witwicky...

    Ron Witwicky: Sam, just go!

    Judy Witwicky: Sam, listen to your father!

    Ron Witwicky: Sam, they're gonna kill us all anyway!

    Sam Witwicky: Look, just come over here and take it, don't harm them... okay. BUMBLEBEE!

    [Bumblebee jumps on Rampage]

    Sam Witwicky: Take 'im down, Bee!

  • [arriving at Sam's college]

    Judy Witwicky: Look at this place! I feel smarter already! Can you smell that?

    Ron Witwicky: Yeah, smells like $40,000 a year.

  • [after Bumblebee blasts the house to destroy the kitchen bots]

    Judy Witwicky: Sam, Sam, listen to me... When you go, he goes. I cannot live with a psychotic alien in my garage!

    Ron Witwicky: Judy, national security... Look, if we stay quiet, they're gonna take care of everything. Just consider this the official start of our remodel, okay?

    Judy Witwicky: Fine. If the government's paying, I want a pool and a hot tub! And I'm gonna skinny-dip and you can't say shit about it!

  • [the Witwicky home is under siege by Decepticons]

    Ron Witwicky: What was that?

    Sam Witwicky: That's the whole kitchen!

  • Ron Witwicky: You'll see that a lot in college, too.

    Sam Witwicky: What are you talking about, Dad?

    Ron Witwicky: There's gonna be a lot of women there.

    Sam Witwicky: Yeah, well, I'm a one-woman kind of guy.

    Ron Witwicky: Look, Mikaela's the greatest, but you gotta give each other room to grow, okay? You're no different than any other couple your age.

    Sam Witwicky: Except we discovered an alien race together.

    Ron Witwicky: [scoffs] How long you gonna ride that scooter?

  • Ron Witwicky: Let's go. March, young lady!

    [to his son's horror, Ron slaps his wife's derriere]

    Judy Witwicky: I love it when you call me "young lady," you dirty old man.

    [goes upstairs giggling]

    Ron Witwicky: You ain't seen nothing yet...

    Sam Witwicky: Dad, Dad, Dad, whoa!

    Ron Witwicky: What?

    Sam Witwicky: I'm watching what you're doing, Dad. It's not a rap video.

    Ron Witwicky: It's just like a coach thing.

    Sam Witwicky: That was a really creepy move just now, Dad.

  • Mikaela Banes: You're the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Sam Witwicky: And?

    Mikaela Banes: I'd do anything for you.

    Mikaela Banes: And?

    Judy Witwicky: [watching intently] He's about to say the L-word?

    Ron Witwicky: [impatient] Come on, kiddo.

    Sam Witwicky: I... adore you.

  • Sam Witwicky: You don't stop, you don't hide. You run. You understand me?

    Ron Witwicky: No!

    Sam Witwicky: You've gotta let me go. You've gotta let me go.

    Judy Witwicky: Let him go.

    Ron Witwicky: You come back! YOU COME BACK!

  • Judy Witwicky: [touring Sam's college] People are sure friendly here. Some kids just gave me this bag of brownies.

    Sam Witwicky: Mom, that's not a brownie! Don't take it!

    Judy Witwicky: Sam, I am your mother and I can do what I want!

    Ron Witwicky: Honey! They baked it with reefer!

  • Ron Witwicky: I don't know what's going on, but we gotta move!

  • Judy Witwicky: Sam, I think for a job interview that you should wear real pants.

    Sam Witwicky: I think for life, you should wear real pants.

    Judy Witwicky: [Sees Sam's new car] Oh, what happened to Bumblebee?

    Sam Witwicky: He's off on his missions. I had to get this for backup.

    Ron Witwicky: Your car has a job, huh?

    Judy Witwicky: Stop. What does it change into?

    Sam Witwicky: It doesn't change into anything. It's a collector's item, Ma. I got it for a steal. It just needs some work. Trust me.

    Judy Witwicky: No, I think it's darling. It reminds me a lot of Bumblebee... if Bumblebee were a sad piece of shit.

Browse more character quotes from Transformers (2007)