Ratchet Quotes in Transformers (2007)

Mikaela: Why are you here?

Optimus Prime: We are here looking for the All Spark. And we must find it before Megatron.

Sam Witwicky: Mega-what?

[Prime projects a holographic view of Cybertron]

Optimus Prime: Our planet was once a powerful empire, peaceful and just, until we were betrayed by Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. All who defied them were destroyed. Our war finally consumed the planet, and the All Spark was lost to the stars. Megatron followed it to Earth, where Captain Witwicky found him...

Sam Witwicky: My grandfather.

Optimus Prime: It was an accident that intertwined our fates.

[Captain Witwicky discovers Megatron in the ice]

Optimus Prime: Megatron crash-landed before he could retrieve the Cube.

[the Captain fiddles with Megatron's gears, causing a bright light to strike him... ]

Optimus Prime: He accidentally activated his navigation system. The coordinates to the Cube's location on Earth were imprinted on his glasses.

Sam Witwicky: How did you know about his glasses?

Optimus Prime: eBay.

Sam Witwicky: eBay...

Ratchet: If the Decepticons find the All Spark, they will use its power to transform Earth's machines and build a new army.

Optimus Prime: And the human race will be extinguished. Sam Witwicky, you hold the key to Earth's survival.

Mikaela: Please tell me that you have those glasses?

Ironhide: Why are we fighting to save the humans? They're a primitive and violent race.

Optimus Prime: Were we so different? They're a young species. They have much to learn. But I've seen goodness in them. Freedom is the right of all sentient beings. You all know there's only one way to end this war: we must destroy the Cube. If all else fails, I will unite it with the spark in my chest.

Ratchet: That's suicide! The Cube is raw power, it could destroy you both!

Optimus Prime: A necessary sacrifice to bring peace to this planet. We cannot let the humans pay for our mistakes. It's been an honor serving with you all.

[Ratchet runs into power lines, shocking him and causing a tremor throughout the neighborhood]

Ron Witwicky: [crawling under a table] Earthquake! Earthquake! Judy, get under the table!

Judy Witwicky: How did you get over there so fast?

[Outside, a dazed Ratchet staggers to his feet]

Ratchet: Wow... that was tingly! You gotta try that!

Ironhide: [sarcastic] Yeah, that looks fun...

Optimus Prime: Are you Samuel James Witwicky, descendent of Archibald Witwicky?

Mikaela: They know your name!

Sam Witwicky: Yeah.

Optimus Prime: My name is Optimus Prime. We are Autonomous Robotic Organisms from the planet Cybertron.

Ratchet: But you can call us "Autobots", for short.

Optimus Prime: Our medical officer: Ratchet.

Ratchet: [sniffing] The boy's pheromone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female.

[Sam and Mikeala fidget embarassedly]

Ironhide: [drawing his guns] The parents are very irritating...

Ratchet: [trying to calm him] Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Ironhide: Can I take them out?

Optimus Prime: Ironhide, you know we don't harm humans! What is with you?

Ironhide: Well, I'm just saying we could. It's an option.

[Ron Witwicky walks towards a window]

Optimus Prime: Quick, hide!

Ratchet: Hide? Where?

[the Autobots manage to get out of sight just as Ron looks outside]

Ron Witwicky: Oh, no... look at the yard! The yard is destroyed! There's sparks flying all over the place... Judy, you better call the City, looks like they got a blown transformer! What a waste... Trashed! Gone!

[appalled, he moves away]

Ratchet: I sense the Decepticons are getting ready to mobilize...

Lockdown: There is one way you survive: tell me where he's hiding. Where is Optimus Prime?

Ratchet: Never.

[Lockdown kills Ratchet]

Lockdown: Never is here.

[Autobot reinforcements arrive at the forest fight]

Ironhide: Autobots, attack!

Ratchet: Bumblebee, get them out of here!

Ratchet: Ironhide, we should leave this planet...

Ironhide: That's not what Optimus would want.

Ratchet: [about Galloway] This fool is terribly misinformed!

Ratchet: Jolt, electrify! Transfer those afterburners!

[Jolt charges and fuses Jetfire's parts with Optimus]

Ratchet: [to Bumblebee] You fought bravely.

[the Autobots and NEST gather around to reawaken Sentinel Prime]

Lennox: [to Mearing] That's the Matrix of Leadership, the only thing in the Universe that can repower a Transformer's spark.

Optimus Prime: Let us begin... Sentinel Prime, we bid you return.

[drives the Matrix into Sentinel's chest, reviving him... Sentinel grabs Optimus in a deadlock]

Lennox: Hold your fire!

Optimus Prime: Stop! Sentinel, it is I, Optimus Prime!

Ironhide: You are home, Sentinel.

Ratchet: There is nothing to fear.

Sideswipe: Autobots, attack!

Ratchet: Mortar that bridge!

Cora: Got a long line of citations here. Possession of an illegal gravity repulsor?

Ratchet: Oh, that was a misunderstanding. I thought that space pirate was on the level.

Brax: Operation of a black market accelerator?

Ratchet: Operation is a strong word. It blew up as soon as I turned it on!

Cora: Willful disruption of the space-time continuum?

Ratchet: THAT is a funny story...

Qwark: You're reckless! You're a loose cannon! And you're dangerous! That's MY shtick!

Ratchet: Wait! Just gimme a chance!

Qwark: Sorry, no time! Galaxy in jeopardy! Get back out there, and remember, you can do anything - as long as you're me! NEXT!

Clank: Ratchet, we are clearly not prepared for this. We should have contacted the rangers to warn them of the attack!

Ratchet: Haha! Yeah, like they'd know who we are!

Clank: But you said they were your friends!

Ratchet: ...Whaaaaat? I think you're quoting me out of context.

Clank: [Playing recording of Ratchet's voice] The rangers are actually my, uh, friends!

Ratchet: Do you record everything I say?

Clank: [Playing recording of Ratchet's voice] Do you record everything I say?

Ratchet: [as he is begging Bigweld not to fire him] The lies I've told! The lives I've ruined! Wait... this isn't helping me!

Ratchet: This is gonna get *greasy*!

Ratchet: [after he's hit Bigweld over the head with the telephone] I'm as crazy as my mother!

Madame Gasket: Someone is fixing them! And they're laughing at you, Ratchet!

Ratchet: Who? And are you sure they aren't laughing *with* me?

Madame Gasket: Yes.

Ratchet: Why be you when you can be new?

Ratchet: Now, Cappy, I want your department to push our new slogan. In fact, I'm moving you into the office right next to mine. We'll be working very, very closely together on this one. Won't that be fun?

Cappy: [Wryly] Oodles.

Ratchet: Now, let's get back to the business of sucking every last penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead.

Ratchet: Take him for a drive. And bring me back his exact weight in paperclips!