Funniest quotes:

Send

The first time probably people really were aware of me, I unfortunately had the title of Showtime's Funniest Person in America. And that's a really tough title to travel around with when you're not even known. -- Ellen DeGeneres
My guiltiest pleasure in life is 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' I watch them all - old, new - I don't care. Despite how bad the writing is on the show. The people getting hit and hurt, that's hilarious. -- Russell Peters
Funniest thing happened though, you wouldn't believe it, ha, the mannequins came to life. I went insane. -- Drew Carey
When I was 3, my mom sent in a video of me singing George Strait to 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' -- Austin Mahone
It feels like when I write, it's intuitive. This is true of Frances, and it's true of this [The Funniest Movie Of The Summer]. -- Greta Gerwig
My favorite show is America's Funniest Home Videos. People will get hit on the head and I feel bad cause I'm laughing my head off! -- Corbin Bleu
I swear, sometimes I am convinced my life is just a series of sketches for America's Funniest Home Videos, minus all that pants-dropping business. Except my life really isn't all that funny if you think about it. -- Meg Cabot
I love 'Robot Chicken,' 'The Boondocks' and 'America's Funniest Home Videos.' Then there's this show called 'The First 48.' It's a documentary about killings where they try and find murderers. They interrogate people and they tell on each other - it's hilarious. -- ASAP Rocky
Remember, when YouTube was founded in the U.S., America's Funniest Home Videos had been around for a long time. In China, the history of TV as well as user-generated video is very, very short. So, we've actually had to do a lot of things to motivate that. -- Victor Koo
I think 'lunch' is one of the funniest words in the world. -- Stephen Sondheim
My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. -- Muhammad Ali
By the way, I'm funniest when I'm not being funny. I'm better to laugh at than with, pretty much. -- Jemima Kirke
Creativity is all around us, and some of the funniest, most beautiful, and touching moments happen when you least expect it. -- Bryce Dallas Howard
My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it. -- Chevy Chase
I have a fantastic husband. Here's the honeymoon part: I still think he's the funniest, wittiest, most clever man I've ever known. -- Sarah Jessica Parker
My dad's one of the funniest men in the world. I grew up with him making me laugh so much I'd beg him to stop. -- Rafe Spall
I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy. -- Paul Shaffer
I know it's a cliche, but the whole family is just whacked. I mean, we're all out of our minds. They're the funniest, most eccentric bizarre people I've ever met, my siblings. -- Dana Carvey
There may be something good in silence. It's a brand new thing. You can hear the funniest little discussions, if you keep turning the volume down. Shut yourself up, and listen out loud. -- Wes Borland
The funniest racism is the racism between minorities. It's something you don't see dramatized, but almost every minority I know who's my age, they have these funny stories about their parents stereotyping other minorities. -- Mindy Kaling
Ron Swanson is more than the MVP of the 'Parks and Recreation' squad, more than just the funniest character on TV - he's the perfect depiction of aggrieved American manhood at the twilight of the empire. -- Rob Sheffield
As in, I think 'Badlands' is one of the funniest films of all time: 'Every day I wish I was carried off to a magical land, but that never happened' is one of the funniest lines in any film. -- Richard Ayoade
I'd be nothing without my wife. She's the coolest. She's the greatest. She is the smartest. She's the funniest. I love her so much. She's like the - it's like your best friend for the rest of your life. -- Jimmy Fallon
If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity. -- Maya Angelou
I talked to ex-wives of musicians of the '70s for research. They're the funniest people in the world, yet there is this sad, beautiful thing in their eyes that says they've seen more than they could ever possibly tell you. -- Kate Hudson
We all know how funny Morrissey is. Actually, you know what? I say that sarcastically. His songs are some of the funniest songs I've ever heard in my life. I mean, really. I mean, not that the 'Girlfriend in a Coma' is, like, really funny. -- Zach Galifianakis
I never want to be called the funniest Indian female comedian that exists. I feel like I can go head-to-head with the best white, male comedy writers that are out there. Why would I want to self-categorize myself into a smaller group than I'm able to compete in? -- Mindy Kaling
I love Charlie, Billy Burke's character. Writing for him is so spectacular, he's so funny and wry and every scene he's in he just takes. There's a scene in 'Eclipse' where Bella tells him she's a virgin, and it's the funniest, most awkward scene I've ever seen on film. -- Melissa Rosenberg
My mother is from another time - the funniest person to her is Lucille Ball; that's what she loves. A lot of times she tells me she doesn't know what I'm talking about. I know if I wasn't her son and she was flipping through the TV and saw me, she would just keep going. -- Steven Wright
I was always a big fan of Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner's '2000-Year-Old Man' sketch. I think it's one of the biggest influences on the podcast, definitely. You'd never say Carl Reiner was the funniest dude on there, because he's just teeing it up, but he knows what questions to ask to lead to great improv. -- Scott Aukerman
Havin' fun while freedom fightin' must be one of those lunatic Texas traits we get from the water - which is known to have lithium in it - because it goes all the way back to Sam Houston, surely the most lovable, the most human, and the funniest of all the great men this country has ever produced. -- Molly Ivins
When I first started looking at Twitter, I followed people like Steve Martin, who will just write the funniest non sequiturs now and then, which I thought was really fun. That's kind of the road I've taken. Every now and then, something comes into your mind and you put it out there. It's very innocuous. I think it's kind of fun. -- Steve Carell
My best friend growing up really put the bug in my ear about acting. We created this one hour-and-a-half improv play when we were 10 or 11 and performed it at the library. We just played off each other so well and had the best time doing it and the funniest part was, we wound up having packed houses, other people loved it too. -- Katherine Moennig
The funniest things are the forbidden. -- Mark Twain
The funniest people are the saddest once -- Confucius
I think Chelsea Handler is the funniest woman. -- David Alan Grier
Self-delusion is one of the funniest things there is. -- Douglas Coupland
And, of course, the funniest food of all, kumquats. -- George Carlin
Hereâ??s my most funniest joke, Iâ??m broke. -- Lil Wayne
My dad was the funniest guy I ever knew. -- Russell Peters
Mausoleum, n: the final and funniest folly of the rich. -- Ambrose Bierce
The funniest comedians are in touch with their emotional level. -- John Krasinski
I think the funniest stuff comes from the heaviest stuff. -- Bill Maher
Blazing Saddles' is one of the funniest movies ever made. -- Adam McKay
'Blazing Saddles' is one of the funniest movies ever made. -- Adam McKay
[Vincent Price] was the funniest damn guy I ever met. -- Cassandra Peterson
I am one of the funniest people on the planet. -- Dick Gregory
Telling the truth is the funniest joke in the world. -- George Bernard Shaw
My kids are the funniest two human beings there are. -- Kevin Hart
I'm tired of being the funniest person in the room. -- Del Close
The funniest thing a comedian can do is not do it. -- W. C. Fields
George Hamilton is one of the funniest men I have ever known. -- Britt Ekland
People walked out on Richard Pryor and he's the funniest man alive. -- Tracy Morgan
The world's most funniest and easiest thing is to give an advice... -- Chetan Bhagat
You shone like a star. The funniest, wisest writer & the finest friend -- Neil Gaiman
I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood. -- Gabriel Iglesias
I think I'm the funniest guy in a room full of unfunny people. -- Ben Feldman
Johnston's books are beautifully written and among the funniest I have ever read. -- Annie Dillard
Jokes? There are no jokes. The truth is the funniest joke of all. -- Muhammad Ali
You know what the funniest thing about Europe is? It's the little differences. -- Quentin Tarantino
Some of my funniest thoughts come to me while I'm taking a shower. -- Justin Hires
The funniest thing about some people is that they have no sense of humor. -- Ashleigh Brilliant
Some of the funniest people I know are not screwed up in the head. -- Darrell Hammond
Jimmy Fallon is one of the funniest son of a guns I've ever seen. -- Christian Kane
Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women. -- Rachel Bloom
The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles. -- Garrison Keillor
Bert Williams was the funniest man I ever saw and the saddest man I ever knew. -- W. C. Fields
I'm not the comic of the generation, I'm not even the funniest guy in my family. -- Dave Attell
I think that music at inappropriate times with inappropriate volumes can be the funniest thing ever. -- Ed Helms
My daughter is the funniest person I know, and I couldn't imagine my life without her. -- Donna Air
Sometimes the funniest people don't know that they're funny - like the administrators in my high school. -- Vanessa Bayer
Think of the funniest story from your life. Chances are, it was something awful at the time. -- Gina Barreca
The show was written just for us. We all thought we were the prettiest and the funniest. -- Dixie Carter
My father was the funniest man I ever met. He made Redd Foxx look like an undertaker. -- Henry Louis Gates
My father is sort of the jokester. My dad is still the funniest guy in our family. -- Seth Meyers
Sometimes, I find that just the simplest, cleanest things that are intelligently performed are funniest to me. -- Kaitlin Olson
I was voted funniest person in my middle-school yearbook. So I guess I was funny in middle school? -- Cecily Strong
Van Ritzen is one of the funniest humans I've ever met. Read her book, laugh, lather, rinse, repeat. -- Mark Leiren-Young
Some of the funniest moments I've ever experienced have been in the midst of tragic situations in my life. -- Sarah Polley
Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around. -- Adam McKay
The funniest jokes you know aren't from comics but relatives, friends - from your life. That's the funniest stuff. -- Dick Gregory
Entertainment Weekly said that Parks and Rec is the smartest comedy on tv. Call me when it's the funniest. -- Andy Kindler
This impeccably researched study of the classic black insult game may be the funniest work of serious scholarship ever published. -- Terry Teachout
I suppose I would like to be remembered as one of the funniest men that people have seen on television. -- Ronnie Barker
Racing Stripes was so much fun to do. It's one of the funniest movies I've seen in a couple years. -- Bruce Greenwood
My drummer is my favorite drummer in the world, and he also happens to be the funniest person you'll meet. -- Aaron Bruno
He's the funniest, smartest person I know. It doesn't mean he doesn't bug me and I'm sure I bug him sometimes. -- Sarah Jessica Parker
I thought she was the funniest woman, and I believed being a comedian was the most exciting thing you could be. -- Maya Rudolph
The Bible is the funniest book I have ever read. It's so funny! Right in the first six pages, it's funny! -- David Cross
One of the funniest lines in my show was written for me by Alan Bursky. I really want to learn this routine! -- Lance Burton
[On the ERA Equality March:] It's the funniest thing. I don't feel there's any discrimination. I know my husband feels that way. -- Pat Nixon
Although Kurt Vonnegut may not be considered a humor writer, 'Breakfast of Champions' is one of the funniest books I've ever read. -- Justin Halpern
Fred Savage,he's America's sweetheart, like I always say. One of the funniest, nicest, most decent... I love him like a brother. -- Rob Lowe
Some people would say comedy draws from some dark places, from your dark stuff. Life's great optimists aren't necessarily the funniest people. -- Colin Firth
I have always been a huge admirer of my own work. I'm one of the funniest and most entertaining writers I know. -- Mel Brooks
My mum said to me once years ago, which really spurred me on, 'You're the funniest person I know'. I loved that. -- Miranda Hart
I was asked about doing a nude shoot for men's magazine GQ. I thought it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard. -- Julie Walters
Alan Zweibel is the funniest writer in the world. He might be even funnier when he's naked, but I'm afraid to find out. -- Dave Barry
We Germans should know that we're good at constructing cars, and we have a lot of good qualities. But we're not the funniest. -- Daniel Bruhl
We Germans should know that we're good at constructing cars, and we have a lot of good qualities. But we're not the funniest." -- Daniel Bruhl
And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste. -- George Carlin
But I'm kind of spoilt when it comes to comedy. I was on 'Friends', which was one of the funniest things on television. -- Matt LeBlanc
I hate bananas. I just hate them. But I also think a banana suit is the funniest fruit costume a person can wear. -- Paul Neilan
I've been to many funerals of funny people, and they're some of the funniest days you'll ever have, because the emotions run high. -- Albert Brooks
Bumble-Ardy looks like a happy book. That's the funniest thing about it. But this was survival. I was working very hard to survive. -- Maurice Sendak
Everything is so funny in the movie. The funniest thing about the movie is the transformations they were able to make with the characters. -- Joe Viterelli
Steve Howey is probably the funniest man in Hollywood. For real. He is just that person that can make you laugh at all times. -- Shanola Hampton
The nicest veterans in Schenectady, I thought, the kindest and funniest ones, the ones who hated war the most, were the ones who'd really fought. -- Kurt Vonnegut
What I do know is that traditional gender roles are very real and flipping the norm is difficult for even the strongest, funniest, smartest men. -- Patti Stanger
The funniest thing is that all the things every director goes through, I thought I could shortcut, but there was no getting around those issues. -- George Clooney
The thing that's great about those guys at Miramax is the Weinstein brothers. They are the two funniest guys I've ever met in my life. -- Ted Demme
While it is entirely untrue that Canadians lack a sense of humour, the funniest ones tend to head south: Dan Aykroyd, Jim Carrey, Michael J. Fox. -- Simon Hoggart
A lot of the things I find funniest about people are their shortcomings that they're oblivious to, but that they're constantly reminding everyone around them of. -- Emile Hirsch
I mean, I find things that happened in real life to be the funniest - things that you observe instead of crazy abstract things, you know. -- Jonah Hill
I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.' -- Seth Rogen
Id like to acknowledge three people who early on knew Mel Brooks was one of the funniest people in the world: Sid Caesar, me, and Mel Brooks. -- Carl Reiner
That's the funniest thing about portraying certain things on screen, sitting next to your parents and they get to see this glimpse of me kissing another guy. -- Kate Bosworth
Annie Lalley is one of the funniest and most likable personalities you'll ever see on stage --which makes the depth of her songwriting all the more striking -- Pierce Pettis
I am so proud that 'Up' is Pixar's 10th film. I think it's the funniest film that we've ever made and also one of the most beautiful. -- John Lasseter
I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be. -- Seth Rogen

Send