Seth Rogen quotes:

People recognise me and come up to me sometimes, but I'm not like George Clooney.

My mom's a social worker, and my dad works in non-profit organisations.

I'm intimidated anytime I work with someone who's directly outside my very insulated group of friends.

I was in high school when Will Ferrell was first on 'Saturday Night Live', and I remember thinking, 'Man, that guy is the funniest guy ever.'

Alzheimer's is a family disease...It requires countless hours of care, which are typically provided by family caregivers...Wi thout professional help, it can be impossible to juggle providing that care with jobs, raising kids or just time for yourself.

If you ask most high schoolers who Bruce Lee is, they will say that it someone they sit next to in English class.

I go to the theater, all the time. I'm not one of these secret movie, watch a 35mm print in my living the weekend it comes out guys. I'm not Jon Bon Jovi. I go to the Arclight, like a regular asshole.

I think people do get better as the movies go on sometimes, and I'm always happy that we're shooting out of order, so it's kind of scattered throughout the movie, and there isn't like a clear build in everyone finding their characters.

My mom drives me crazy sometimes, but I have a good relationship with her.

Luckily, I think, I never really wanted to be famous, I just wanted to make movies.

People make fun of what I'm eating because they can tell I hate it. They know I am not happy eating healthy food. I look miserable - I look like I would rather be eating something else.

My high school years were exactly like 'Superbad.'

You can actually improvise a lot as a voice actor. It's not that entirely different than shooting a live action movie; the characters mouths are quite easy to manipulate once all the information is built into the computer. So you can improvise a lot and it doesn't matter really how far along they are in the process they can really just make the character say something different.

It's definitely not true what they say about women wanting a guy with a sense of humour. What women mean is that they want a guy with a sense of humour who is really handsome. If a girl had a choice between Brad Pitt or me, she'd pick Brad Pitt. And I'm a lot funnier than he is.

For me and my wife...the easiest part of my life is my marriage. Like if everything was as smooth and easy and fun as my relationship with my wife then I would have a much easier time getting through the day. We really get along and we like the same stuff.

As soon as I realized you could be funny as a job, that was the job I wanted.

If you take a tube TV to a donation center, they won't accept it.

My characters come from a good place.

Good comedy doesn't have to be a comedy idea.

You don't often see fight scenes with people who have no idea how to fight.

I eat well, and I exercise.

You look at CG sometimes and its terrible. You look at CG sometimes and its great.

After every single take, I laugh. It's my own awkwardness and discomfort about being an actor.

I love cold weather.

I know most people don't like their jobs very much and don't get a lot of personal satisfaction from their jobs. That's something that I really do get a lot of.

I think when you do comedy, you play by a different set of rules. No one really wants you to be in that good shape. Being in good shape implies a level of vanity that isn't necessarily funny.

You don't have to put dresses in a movie to make girls like it.

I've seen a lot of movies get made where no one has control. No one likes it.

I'm not really a goal-oriented guy.

I'm not the most romantic guy, although I do try.

For a Jewish mother, having a country wage war on your son is the worst. If Kim Jong-un only knew what he was doing to my mother!

I am lazy, but for some reason, I am so paranoid that I end up working hard.

People constantly make pop-culture references. That's why it's called popular culture, because people are aware of it and reference it constantly.

I don't think all of my ideas are good. It's almost easier when people are critical of you because it helps with the quality control.

The great thing about reading for Quentin [Tarantino] is you're not reading for him, he's reading with you. So he sits right next to you.

We live in a world where in the movie you can disembowel someone in a youth hostel in Romania, but you can't show people having sex. I think it's weird.

I remember, when I was an up-and-coming comic, how annoyed I would be when the famous guys would show up and just take everyone's spots.

It's my mission to sue the MPAA and take them down. I don't know how to go about doing that. But to me, it seems like it's something that has to be taken care of.

Please don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes.

I grew up in Vancouver, man. That's where more than half of my style comes from.

It's much more painful to bomb in front of a group of yours peers than it is to not win. Tons of assholes ain't winning awards, but only one guy will be bombing. So, that's much more nerve-wracking.

The current Babe Ruth of improv? Sacha Baron Cohen. He's pretty amazing.

I guess it's a kind of a goal for any actor to be the lead of a movie. Not for ego reasons, but because it is creatively the biggest challenge.

I don't make the best movies in the world, but at times, I do feel like I'm adding something to the cinematic community.

I first did standup at a lesbian bar. I didn't know it was a lesbian bar at the time, but the lesbians loved me. I was huge among the lesbians and am to this day. I'm thrilled with the lesbian support.

I feel like if I won an award and I was giving my speech and the music started, that's all I'd remember, the humiliation I felt when the music started. It would mar the entire experience for me.

I mean, I love Comic-Con.

I'm not entirely comfortable saying I'm an actor, because it seems like a very weird, almost dorky thing to say you are.

To me, what separates a funny movie from a good movie is something personal.

There is a certain security in having a great supporting cast.

I'm a complete coward in real life.

It is always exciting when you find someone who is really enthusiastic about being half of a comedy team.

[ I watched ] Spicoli in Fast Times, which isn't exactly a stoner movie, or The Big Lebowski, which I think is more than a stoner movie or Brad Pitt in True Romance.

[I like] Die Hard and Paul Verhoeven movies. S - t like that.

A TV show is constant work, which is the great thing about it.

All my friends are talented enough to get nominated for awards. I just am always surprised when things and people I like are also liked by things like the Oscars.

Americans whisper the word Alzheimer's because their government whispers the word Alzheimer's. And although a whisper is better than the silence that the Alzheimer's community has been facing for decades, it's still not enough. It needs to be yelled and screamed to the point that it finally gets the attention and the funding that it deserves and needs.

Are we gonna just make movies about trying to get laid over and over again or focus on something that's more relevant?

Basically, we [me and Evan Goldberg] started thinking about making a movie that was kind of a weed movie and action movie and had a real kind of friendship story to it, then that would be our favorite movie [Pineapple Express] ever.

Claiming that someone's marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you're on a diet.

Even vegetables have feelings in our world.

Every once in a while you definitely have to film someone for half an hour saying something that you do not think is funny because for the previous two hours they said a bunch of stuff that you think is really funny.

Every time I improvise I'm aware that I could be ruining what it is that we're doing and we'll just have to do it again.

For me to act natural and real but also try to be funny while doing that is hard.

I actually live right near a high school and I always walk by...I live in a high school. I actually live in the boiler room of a high school at night. When I see high school guys now I'm actually like, 'Thank f - king God I'm not in high school anymore because they look like they could kick the living s - t out of me.'

I always thought realistic was a better way to explain things that were "dramedies" because life is like that. It's funny, it's dramatic and to me that's how I see it.

I did karate for a really long time, almost 10 years when I was younger.

I did meet Steve Wozniak on several occasions leading up to the filming of the movie [Steve Jobs]. It wasn't really written how he is. So the second I met him, it almost was a relief, because I was like, "OK, good, the real Steve Wozniak is like one of the least confrontational people you would ever meet in your entire life."

I didn't think I'd ever be an actor.

I do believe in monsters oddly enough. I think they're under my bed. But aliens are ridiculous; monsters I think are real completely though.

I don't even have a stalker. I'm just not the guy that people stalk.

I don't smoke weed on set all day. I just want to say that, you know, not all day. After lunch you get tired. What can you do? To me, the fact that a character smokes weed isn't really what I hang my hat on necessarily.

I don't think that any scene [in Pineapple Express] is word for word how you'd find it in the script. Some of it was much more loose than others. The last scene with me, Danny [McBride] and James [Franko] in the diner - there was never even a script for that scene. Usually we write something, but for that scene we literally wrote nothing.

I don't weigh myself.

I feel much more comfortable as a writer than an actor. I feel like I am a much better writer than I am an actor.

I feel no sympathy for my food.

I hadn't done a comedy for a while. I had directed a very low budget movie called The Ape and it was playing at a festival in Austin. Judd [Apatow] was there and he came and saw it and it's kind of funny.

I hadn't really done a comedy other than The Ape since Freaks and Geeks.

I have become a giant fan of the testing process, especially with a comedy. I mean, they tell you what's funny. It's almost tailor-made for people who shoot the way we shoot, trying a million different options and versions of things. Because the audience doesn't laugh at a joke, we put in another joke. If they don't laugh at the next joke, we put in another joke. You just keep doing them and you can get the movie to the point where every joke is funny, if you have enough options in the can.

I honestly don't love the Cheech and Chong movies, I've got to say.

I knew I just loved comedy, and I think it was my parents who initially brought up the notion of me trying to do stand-up. I think I actually tried writing jokes just at home, just kind of sitting around. But it seemed like a very real way to step into the world of comedy. I felt I could do it, so why not?

I liked actions movies. Jean-Claude Van Damme was a major influence on me at that point in my life.

I mean, where I come from, 'communism' is not a terrible word.

I met Evan Goldberg at bar-mitzvah class. It was called tallis and tefillin.

I read the script [ of 'Steve Jobs' movie ], and it was very, very good. I wasn't sure they would want me to be in the movie, but I auditioned for it. Which I hadn't done in a few years. But I had auditioned in the previous few years for another movie that I did not get the part. And so my track record wasn't good. But I really wanted to audition because I was worried that I was going to blow it, and I wanted it to be on them for choosing me.

I remember thinking as I was doing the jokes for the first time, "If I can hear that very clearly, I'm not hearing laughter." It just became deafening, this buzzing noise. I mean, it was brutal. It was really terrible. Then I remember thinking, "At least nobody important, or anyone who I really respect, saw that." And then literally right when I went off the stage, Jerry Seinfeld got up and went on. So I was like, "Oh great. Seinfeld saw me bomb." On the other hand, I thought, "At least no one will be thinking of me anymore. They'll just be focusing on him."

I remember when I got my first Adam Sandler CD and it was the funniest thing I'd ever heard in my entire life, and continues to be.

I think around that time I met David [Gordon Green] or, well, we all met at Superbad and Judd [Apatow] said, 'I'm thinking about having him direct [ Knocked Up].' Sounded like a good idea.

I think I was just so ecstatic that I was working, and then as it went on, you know, I started to really appreciate that it was good [show "Freaks and Geeks" ] and that we were doing something a little different and that, you know, everyone was really cool to work with and that it was really talented group of people, and it was just when I was realizing that, that it got canceled.

I think that, honestly, people's censorship issues are personal but I disagree with most of those personal choices that I see others make. I watch television and there's a grotesque amount of violence on almost every show. And I think my dirty brand of humor is far less destructive to a child's mentality.

I was always big. I was kind of around this size, like, since I went into high school. I played rugby and stuff like that. So, people, you know, would screw with me, but I never got into, like, a real fight or anything like that.

I was looking to do a comedy and found a group of guys that were really supportive of my interests in it, though it was a little outside of my wheel house. Strangely, I visited the set of Knocked Up and met Seth [Rogen] and Evan [Goldberg] and Judd[Apatow] and Shauna [Robertson].

I was pretty young. I guess I was in high school, so I was probably 13 years old. It was crazy. I remember it very vividly. I remember - it was actually kind of horrifying, because one of my friends - we smoked out of a bong, and one of my friends - this was so stupid - he didn't want to bring - it was after school on a Friday, and he didn't - we smoked weed in this park called the Ravine that was across the street from my high school.

I was, like, a brown belt, which is pretty good. I entered a tournament once, and I punched the guy in the throat and got disqualified. I realized - I don't know if you're familiar with "Karate Kid," but the bad guys in that are called Cobra Kai, and they're, like, the evil karate guys. And then when I went to the tournament, I realized that's what we were; we were like the Cobra Kai of the Jewish karate community.

I watch a lot of TV. I love nothing more than having a good TV show on DVD, to just plow through.

I watched a lot of pot movies before we did this [Pineapple Express]. My favorites were always the characters in movies that weren't necessarily in stoner movies.

I work under the assumption that, generally speaking, my taste and the taste of the Oscar voters are not one in the same.

I would only date a 15 year old high school girl.

I'd moved to L.A., and everyone's actors here and writers, they were like super emotional and super in touch with their feelings, and it seemed like every two weeks one of my friend just coming to me and, like, you hurt my feelings the other day, dude.

If I were directing a movie, it would scare me.

If there was any drug that was to symbolize the people that ate our heroes, it seems like bath salts was a good idea. It's also a drug that, I think, is still funny to a lot of people.

I'll vote for whoever is the Democrat. That's all I need to know.

I'm a process server, so I have to wear a suit.

I'm actually way more funny now, because I'm hungry... If comedy comes from pain, I should be funnier now than I ever was.

I'm not entirely comfortable saying I'm an actor, because it seems like a very weird, almost dorky thing to say you are. I laugh after every take just out of the discomfort I feel that I'm even on film. It's an awkward thing for me to be doing. Once we get going, it's always fine, and as we're shooting, I'm never thinking about it. I'd say that all my time in front of the camera is equally uncomfortable for me.

I'm the person who writes most of my movies so every role is exactly what I want to be doing.

I'm used to really struggling and facing a hard time to get things going, until I'm comfortable at all with them.

I'm very curious in regards to "The Hateful Eight" specifically about the blocking of the movie. Because in comedies, we don't block. We basically like have to position the actors' bodies in the way that is most conducive to filming both of them simultaneously.

In "Superbad," I carry a gun, but I didn't get to shoot it that much.

In my sick brain, gruesome violence and comedy go as hand-to-hand together as anything else in the world.

It always seems crazy to tell people what to expect. That never works! So, I don't know what to say, other than that they can expect me.

It never seemed like that much of a mystery why shows I was acted in failed. When you're doing a show called Freaks And Geeks about young people in high school, and it's on Saturday nights at 8 and there's no promotion for it, it's not really hard to guess why no one's watching it. And when you're doing a college goofball comedy that premières three weeks after Sept. 11, it's not that hard to piece together why that's not the most important thing on the radar.

It was a great time. We did hurt ourselves [on Pineapple Express set]. [James] Franco cracked his face open.[Danny ] McBride cracked the back of his head open. I punched Amber[Heard] in the face just to get her in the mood for things. 'Welcome to the set!' But it was a lot of fun. I loved it.

It was amazing how much their [Seth Rogen, Evan Goldberg, Shauna Robertson] process seemed familiar to me, translating that into the work that I had done and giving actors a lot of freedom and doing a lot of improvisation and a total respect and collaboration with all the department heads and all the crews, and just really making it an enjoyable industry rather than just clocking in and doing a job which a lot of movies are.

It was really fun [on set of the Pineapple Express]. I mean, how could I not have fun? It was exactly what you think it would be.

It's always funny to find what people's button is.

It's important to see your parents as individuals. As a son or as a daughter you don't stop and think that your parents might have their own expectations, dreams or disappointments.

It's just kind of seemed like a funny way to explore action movies, I guess. I mean, I'm a big fan of them always. It's always people who are very equipped to deal with the situations that they're thrown in. So, the notion just seemed funny, because it's, like, basically stoners are kind of the last guys in the world who are equipped to deal with that. And the humor possibilities just seemed somewhat endless.

It's nice to win an award, I would assume. I've never won one, but I would imagine it's great. I have no idea what I'll do.

It's not dying you need to be afraid of, it's never having lived in the first place.