Chevy Chase quotes:

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my three-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

I would love to do a movie with Albert Brooks; we're so different, but I find him so funny, and I can be just as seemingly narcissistic as he comes off, the 'it's all about me' kind of thing.

I watched every single Charlie Chaplin film.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts.

Any good actor has to have a good sense of humour, too; they have to be able to manipulate people.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

It took me 20 years of making movies to learn how to do it.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

The first thing that happens is that you're overwhelmed by so much attention. It's just so unnatural. Only people who've been in that position can realize what it's like. I mean, you have to be there.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

We never could have performed live for an hour and a half every week if we were doing drugs.

I am just happy that I have children. I don't care what they want to do!

There are very few solid family films. A lot of the writing is awful.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Most of the films I've done were ruined in the postproduction, not during filming.

Let's not call physical comedy falling down and pratfalls. All humor is physical, no matter how you dish it out. It's timing, like a dancer or an athlete would have.

I'm Chevy Chase, and you're not.

They can't make any of these talented young actors Fletch. You might as well make a movie called Chevy Chase.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

I guess I look so straight and normal, nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

Live a life of grace. You'll be a better person for it, and so will your children.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

How much do I owe you?

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

I don't know if my looks will ever get any better, but my pratfalls sure won't.

If you're in the White House, it's your house, and you can invite whatever friend you want.