Marlene Quotes in Spaceballs (1987)

Charlene, Marlene: Hello, President Skroob.

President Skroob: [to Marlene] Hello, Charlene.

Marlene: I'm Marlene.

President Skroob: [to Charlene] Hello, Marlene.

Charlene: I'm Charlene.

President Skroob: Chew your gum.

Marlene: [entering the room as they leave] Evening, madam. Just poppin' in to turn down your bed.

Miss Eva Ernst: How is the room service here?

Miss Irvine: Diabolical.

Miss Eva Ernst: Good.

Miss Irvine: How do you know that woman upstairs?

Miss Eva Ernst: Come along. Walk downstairs. The elevator is out of order.

[as they walk downstairs the elevator chimes]

Marlene: [to Mr. Stringer] I'll see you later then.

Mr. Stringer: [hesitates] We're short-staffed tonight. I might be a little late.

Marlene: [smiles] I can wait.

[Mr. Stringer goes to kiss her until he sees small brown fur on her neck making him leave in disgust]

Marlene: What is it?

[Marlene looks in the mirror and squeals in horror]

Marlene: Gossie been cattin' with one of my waitresses since he got here. He never told me his partner was a blind 'Bama boy.

Oberon: Marlene, Demure called. Thurman's sick.

Marlene: What about Sassie.

Oberon: Flat tire.

Marlene: Alright, 'Bama, why don't you get up there and show me what you got.

Ray Charles: Well, I, I'm not really prepared to do my thing, I mean, right now, tonight.

Marlene: Well, this is the only audition you're gonna get, Puddin', so either get on up there or you and Gossie can haul your asses back down south.

Oberon: [hands Ray a joint] Here smoke some of this.

Ray Charles: [coughs] That ain't no tobacco, man!

Oberon: No. Hold it in. It'll calm you down.

Marlene: Alright, Oberon, get up there and introduce him.

Oberon: Yes, Maam!

Marlene: Come on, 'Bama.

Ray Charles: Yeah!

Oberon: I got a special treat for all you satin dolls and I'm not talking about Oberon's big thunder. No, that's for another show. We got some new blood for ya. Fresh off the bus from Florida I give you Ray "Don't Call Me Sugar" Robinson.

Ray Charles: How y'all doin' tonight?

Man in Bar: Better than you!

Oberon: Relax, Ray, relax!

Ray Charles: I got it. What do y'all wanna hear?

Aretha Robinson: How 'bout a little Nat King Cole?

Ray Charles: Y'all like Nat King Cole?

[begins playing]

Marlene: 'Bama ain't bad.

Oberon: I'd say he saved our asses.

Ray Charles: [Listening to the trumpet playing] Ah, c'mon, Q it's not that complicated. Now let's just play it again. That's a b-flat, c-7th, scale it up and triple off the back end.

[Listens to the trumpet]

Ray Charles: Yah-da-da-da-da, yeah. That's it.

Marlene: Ray, what did I tell you about cooking in the dark? Are you trying to burn the house down?

Ray Charles: Think about it, Marlene, what do I need the light for?

Marlene: Well, you don't need to be cooking anyway. We brought you take out from Oscar's.

Ray Charles: Well, get your money back. I got fried chicken right here. Come on, 7-0, try this.

Quincy Jones: Yeah, it's about time.

Ray Charles: Yeah, that's home cooked right there.

Marlene: [Ray offers her some of the chicken] No, thank you.

Quincy Jones: Mmm, this is the most 6-9. Just needs a little hot sauce, be perfect.

Ray Charles: So, what'd Jack Lauderdale have to say?

Marlene: Oh, I clocked him comin' out the gate. The man was a two-bit hustler.

Ray Charles: Oh, I see.

Gossie McKee: Yeah, it turns out the only hit Swingtime ever had was Open the Door, Richard which was a joke record.

Ray Charles: Well, what about him recording me?

Marlene: Oh, he'll record you, if we pay the freight.

Ray Charles: Scratch a lie. Find a thief.

Marlene: What's that supposed to mean?

Ray Charles: This.

[Shows some cash]

Ray Charles: You see I saw Jack Lauderdale tonight and he gave me a $500.00 advance on my record. He also said he'd put me on the road with Lowell Folsum and pay me three times as much as you been paying me.

Marlene: Now, that's a lie!

Gossie McKee: Ain't no way he's gonna put some blind man on the road. Think about it! I mean, you need watchin' out for and he ain't got to time to look after you the way I been lookin' after you.

Ray Charles: Is that what you been doing, Gossie, watchin' out for me? Is that why you get paid double what I do?

Gossie McKee: Who told you that?

Ray Charles: Well, it's true, ain't it. You and Marlene been gamin' me since I got here.

Marlene: Ray, baby, listen.

Ray Charles: Ain't got to listen to you!

Gossie McKee: What the hell's Ray doin' up there?

Marlene: Auditionin' for you Gossie.

Gossie McKee: He ain't no good without me.

Marlene: How'd you and the 'Bama like to do a week here at the Chair. I know a good bass player. Nice jazz trio can score big. With the right manager.

Gossie McKee: Manager?

Marlene: Come on now, Gossie, don't be so small minded. You know you have to give to get.

Gossie McKee: What exactly do I have to give?

Marlene: Twenty-five percent. But I'll be gettin' you other gigs.

Gossie McKee: Alright. Next question. What do I get?

Marlene: What do you need?

Gossie McKee: Double scale as leader. Plus ten percent.

Marlene: What about the 'Bama?

Gossie McKee: He's about as green as a blade of grass. I can handle him.

Marlene: Yeah, he's green alright. So, Gossie, you don't have to worry about finding a hotel room for the 'Bama. He can flop at my place.

Gossie McKee: You don't never change.

[talking about Jack Lauderdale]

Gossie McKee: You need watching out for and he ain't got time to look after you the way I been looking after you.

Ray Charles: Is that what you been doing, Gossie, watching out for me? Is that why you get paid double what I do?

Gossie McKee: Who told you that?

Ray Charles: Well it's true, ain't it? You and Marlene been gaming me ever since I got here.

Marlene: Ray, baby, listen...

Ray Charles: I ain't got to listen to you!

Gossie McKee: Listen Ray, I been meaning to talk to you about that.

Ray Charles: Then why aren't you talking?

Gossie McKee: Look Ray, let's not do nothing stupid.

Ray Charles: I might be blind, but I ain't stupid!

Marlene: [speaking suggestively to Ray] I've got some more blackberry cobbler for you!

Jack Lauderdale: Hey, Baby. You sound more like Nat than the King himself. What's your name?

Ray Charles: Ray Robinson.

Jack Lauderdale: Ray Robinson. I'm Jack Lauderdale, Swingtime records.

Ray Charles: Hey, Jack! How you doin'!

Jack Lauderdale: How 'bout us making a record together?

Ray Charles: Oh, hell yes! Let's do that.

Marlene: Can I help you?

Jack Lauderdale: I don't think so. Me and Cool Breeze here just talkin' a little business.

Marlene: Then you need to talk to me because I'm his manager.

Ray Charles: Whichever way the wind blows.

Marlene: It's blowing.

Jack Lauderdale: Jack Lauderdale. Swingtime records.

Marlene: Marlene Andre.

Jack Lauderdale: Marlene.

Gossie McKee: Gossie McKee.

Jack Lauderdale: Gossie McKee.

Marlene: Great set, baby. We're going to talk with Mr. Lauderdale here.

Ray Charles: I'm gonna come down there and talk to him.

Gossie McKee: You are doin' a fabulous job, Ray.

Ray Charles: Hey, Goss! Yes, man. Hey look, let's talk to him about this record, man.

Gossie McKee: No, no, we're gonna let Marlene handle that. You get Oberon to call you a cab, alright.

Ray Charles: Guys! Guys!

Oberon: Hey Daddy-O, want to smoke? I've got some gage fresh off the boat. It's clean and seedless.

Ray Charles: So that's how it is, huh? You keep me high while they talk the business?

Oberon: I ain't the one playin' you, man.

Lagarto Rodriguez: Hermanos Rodriguez do not approve of drugs.

Marlene: Neither do I, but it's my birthday.

Otto: I ain't gonna be no repo man. No way.

Marlene: It's too late.

[hands him $25]

Marlene: You already are.

Lagarto Rodriguez: ...yeah, well that's not the only thing, Marlene. This car is hot.

Marlene: What do you mean? Stolen?

Lagarto Rodriguez: No, I mean it's hot. Really hot.

Marlene: Hot?

Lagarto Rodriguez: Yeah! We're sweating like pigs, man.

Paul: I just want to capture what's real and honest.

Marlene: And what if it's boring?

Highway Patrolman: [finds Marlene in the trunk of the car] Get out of there! It's against the law to ride in the trunk in this state. I don't suppose you've got any I.D., either?

Marlene: Idee? Idee 'bout what?

Red Stovall: What's a girl like you going to do in Nashville? Have you any money or friends? What are you gonna do, live in the streets?

Marlene: The Lord will provide.

Red Stovall: He'd better provide you a way of gettin' there, too.

Marlene: Baby's back.

Dek: I'm nothing like Jimmy.

Marlene: Jimmy left. You're leaving. What's the difference?

Dek: I don't want to go.

Horny Rob Becker: I think tonight it's finally going down.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman: What?

Horny Rob Becker: Every man's fantasy. You know, what the French call eating for three.

Marlene: Robbie...

Large Girl Student: Robbie...

Horny Rob Becker: All right, ladies.

Eddie 'Gonzo' Gilman: Sweet Jesus, no.

Horny Rob Becker: Oh, yes. I'm pretty nervous, you know, because it's my first time, but... I've put my camera in there. I set it up; so, I'm just gonna film myself doing it, and I can watch it later and see how I did.

Harvey Holroyd: [after exiting a grocery store, chatting with a checker] Hey, wanna go have a cup of coffee?

Marlene: Oh, I don't drink coffee. It's an artificial stimulant.

Harvey Holroyd: Of course. Then you wouldn't want to have a drink, either. So what do I offer you? A bite of my onion?

Marlene: I'll tell you what: how about if I just go home with you and we go to bed together?

Harvey Holroyd: We could do that. Sure.

Marlene: I'm alive.