Barf Quotes in Spaceballs (1987)
Barf Quotes:
-
Lone Starr: Who hasn't heard of Yogurt!
Princess Vespa: Yogurt the Wise!
Dot Matrix: Yogurt the All-Powerful!
Barf: Yogurt the Magnificent!
Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.
-- Barf -
Barf: I know we need the money, but...
Lone Starr: Listen! We're not just doing this for money!
Barf: [Barf looks at him, raises his ears]
Lone Starr: We're doing it for a SHIT LOAD of money!
-- Barf -
Barf: [Spaceball 1 roars by them, in a plaid colouration of speed] Aah!
Barf: What the hell was that?
Lonestar: Spaceball 1.
Barf: They've gone to plaid!
-- Barf -
Princess Vespa: Now listen you...
Lone Starr: You listen. On this ship, you're to refer to me as 'idiot', not 'you captain'. I mean, you know what I mean.
Princess Vespa: And you will not call me 'you'. You will never address me as 'you'. You will call me 'your royal highness'.
Lone Starr: You are royal pain in the...
Barf: Whoa, hold it, time.
-- Barf -
[as they are trekking through the desert]
Lone Starr: Water. Water.
Barf: [Barf is panting with his tongue hanging out]
Dot Matrix: Oil. Oil.
Princess Vespa: Room service. Room service.
-- Barf -
Princess Vespa: [the quartet enters Yogurt's lair]
Princess Vespa: What is this place?
Barf: It looks like the Temple of Doom.
Dot Matrix: Well it sure ain't Temple Beth Israel.
-- Barf -
Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.
Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.
Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.
-- Barf -
Princess Vespa: Who are you?
Barf: Barf!
Dot Matrix: Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!
-- Barf -
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
-- Barf -
Lone Starr: We gotta get moving before dawn.
Barf: Why so early?
Lone Starr: Because we're in the middle of a desert and we're not going to get very far once that blazing sun gets overhead.
[screen dissolves into a shot of the blazing sun overhead, with Lone Starr and Barf still slightly visible]
Barf: Nice dissolve.
-- Barf -
Lone Starr: A million? That's unfair.
Pizza the Hutt: Unfair to payor but not to payee. But you're gonna pay it, or else!
Barf: Or else what?
Pizza the Hutt: Tell him, Vinnie.
Vinnie: Or else Pizza is gonna send out for *you*!
-- Barf -
Minister: What's your name?
Barf: Barf.
Minister: Your full name?
[Barf sucks in chest to look stronger]
Barf: Barfolomew!
-- Barf -
Barf: (reacting to the guards being shot by Princess Vespa) HOLY SHIT!
Princess Vespa: How was that?
Lone Starr: Not bad.
Barf: Not bad... for a girl.
Dot Matrix: Hey that was pretty good for RAMBO!
-- Barf -
Barf: The minute we move in they're gonna spot us on their radar.
Lone Starr: Nuh-uh.
Barf: Uh-huh.
Lone Starr: Nuh-uh.
Barf: Uh-uh.
Lone Starr: Nuh-uh. Not if we jam it.
Barf: Aha! You're right.
Lone Starr: Down scope.
Barf: Down scope.
[puts down a periscope and targets the Spaceball 1's radar dish]
Barf: Radar about to be "jammed."
[then, a huge jar of "jam" smashes into the dish]
-- Barf -
[after attempting to get out of a chair with his seatbelt on]
Barf: Oh! That's gonna leave a mark.
-- Barf -
Yogurt: I am the keeper of a greater magic, a power known throughout the universe... as the...
Barf: ...the Force?
Yogurt: No, the Schwartz!
-- Barf -
Lone Starr: Chief... I can't... I can't go any further. I can't go any further.
Lone Starr: Just one more dune to go.
Barf: That's what you said three dunes ago. I got no more left. Oh, waiter... cheque please.
[collapses, dropping Dot]
Lone Starr: Must go on... MUST GO ON! Must go on...
[stops]
Lone Starr: Who am I kidding?
[Drops Vespa, collapses]
-- Barf -
Dot Matrix: Hey, stop looking up my can.
Barf: Sorry.
-- Barf -
Lone Starr: Called me an idiot! I'm going back there and explain a few things to her.
Dot Matrix: Besides he got a sexy voice. He might be cute.
Barf: Wait. You haven't seen what she looks like.
Lone Starr: I know what she looks like. You've seen one princess, you've seen them all.
Princess Vespa: Cute? I know these space bums, they're all alike. Fat, ugly...
Lone Starr: Buck-toothed, knock-kneed...
Princess Vespa: Beer-swilling pigs!
Lone Starr: Horse-faced space dogs!
-- Barf -
[watching Spaceball One change into MegaMaid]
Barf: Oh, my gosh. It's not just a spaceship. It's a Transformer.
-- Barf -
Barf: Abandon ship! Abandon ship! Women and mogs first!
-- Barf -
Barf: It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!
-- Barf -
Pizza the Hutt: Well, if it isn't Lone Star. And his sidekick, Puke.
Barf: That's Barf.
Pizza the Hutt: Barf... Puke... *Whatever!*
-- Barf -
Lone Starr: [sees Barf carrying a lot of luggage] Checking in? What the hell is all that?
Barf: [unintelligable from the bag in his mouth] Ith her oyal igness' atched uggage!
Lone Starr: What?
Barf: [pulls the bag out of his mouth] Her royal highness' matched luggage!
Lone Starr: Matched luggage? What does she think this is, a princess cruise?
-- Barf -
Barf, Lone Starr: [after the chest-bursting alien dances across the counter at the diner] Check please!
-- Barf -
Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows...
Lone Starr: It's coming from there.
Barf: That can't be her.
[Lone Starr and Barf walk toward the cell that the singing is coming from]
Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] ... the trouble I've seen...
[Lone Starr opens eye slot in jail cell door and sees Princess Vespa singing]
Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows but Jesus.
Lone Starr: It's her.
Princess Vespa: [Barf looks in - Princess Vespa still singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
Barf: She's a bass.
-- Barf -
Barf: [after Spaceball 1 zooms past the Winnebago at 'ludicrous speed'] They must've overshot us by about a week!
-- Barf -
Barf: [Steps out of motorhome and flips off guards while making kissing sounds]
-- Barf -
Lucille: Harold, how long are you gonna keep driving around without knowing where we're going?
Harold: Barf, have you finished unscrambling those letters yet?
Barf: [finishes unscrambling letters] Fagabeefe? Haha. Fagabeefe. Hey, Melio - fagabeefe.
Harold: [shouts] *Shut up*!
-- Barf
Browse more character quotes from Spaceballs (1987)
Characters on Spaceballs (1987)
- Dark Helmet
- Lone Starr
- Colonel Sandurz
- Laser Gunner
- Major Asshole
- Entire Bridge Crew
- Ape #1
- Ape #2
- John Hurt
- Yogurt
- Doll
- Captain of the Guard
- Dot Matrix
- Princess Vespa
- Radar Technician
- Megamaid Guard
- All the henchmen in the room
- Lonestar
- President Skroob
- King Roland
- Prince Valium
- Trucker in Cap
- Marlene
- Self-Destruct Voice
- Pizza the Hutt
- Commanderette Zircon
- Bearded Lady
- Trooper
- Alien puppet
- Dr. Schlotkin
- Snotty
- Video Operator