Princess Vespa Quotes in Spaceballs (1987)

Lone Starr: Who hasn't heard of Yogurt!

Princess Vespa: Yogurt the Wise!

Dot Matrix: Yogurt the All-Powerful!

Barf: Yogurt the Magnificent!

Yogurt: Please, please, don't make a fuss. I'm just plain Yogurt.

[Princess Vespa has been given a gun]

Princess Vespa: I ain't shooting this thing, I hate guns.

[her hair gets singed by a laser]

Princess Vespa: My hair, he shot my hair. Son of a bitch!

[begins blasting]

Princess Vespa: Now listen you...

Lone Starr: You listen. On this ship, you're to refer to me as 'idiot', not 'you captain'. I mean, you know what I mean.

Princess Vespa: And you will not call me 'you'. You will never address me as 'you'. You will call me 'your royal highness'.

Lone Starr: You are royal pain in the...

Barf: Whoa, hold it, time.

[as they are trekking through the desert]

Lone Starr: Water. Water.

Barf: [Barf is panting with his tongue hanging out]

Dot Matrix: Oil. Oil.

Princess Vespa: Room service. Room service.

Minister: Do you?

Lone Starr: Yes

Minister: Do you?

Princess Vespa: Yes

Minister: GOOD, you're married. KISS HER!

Princess Vespa: [the quartet enters Yogurt's lair]

Princess Vespa: What is this place?

Barf: It looks like the Temple of Doom.

Dot Matrix: Well it sure ain't Temple Beth Israel.

Minister: Excuse me! I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love, so please be quiet!

Princess Vespa: I'm sorry!

King Roland: I'm sorry

Prince Valium: I'm sorry too.

Minister: Don't be sorry, be quiet!

Princess Vespa, King Roland, Prince Valium: I'm sorry!

Princess Vespa: I am Princess Vespa, daughter of Roland, King of the Druids.

Lone Starr: Oh great. That's all we needed. A Druish princess.

Barf: Funny, she doesn't look Druish.

Princess Vespa: Who are you?

Barf: Barf!

Dot Matrix: Not in here, mister! This is a Mercedes!

Princess Vespa: I really must go back. I shouldn't have run away. I realize now that love is one luxury a princess cannot afford.

Lone Starr: You're probably right.

Princess Vespa: I know now that I must learn to live without love.

Lone Starr: I guess so.

Princess Vespa: Besides, love isn't that important.

Lone Starr: Nah... It never was!

Princess Vespa: I could be perfectly happy the rest of my life without...

[turns and looks into Lone Starr's eyes, pauses]

Princess Vespa: love.

Lone Starr: Sure you could.

Princess Vespa: Without physical contact.

Lone Starr: Yeah.

Princess Vespa: Without being held.

Lone Starr: Yeah.

Princess Vespa: Or kissed...

[they go to kiss, but right before they make contact, Dot Matrix's "Virgin Alarm" goes off]

Barf: (reacting to the guards being shot by Princess Vespa) HOLY SHIT!

Princess Vespa: How was that?

Lone Starr: Not bad.

Barf: Not bad... for a girl.

Dot Matrix: Hey that was pretty good for RAMBO!

Dot Matrix: I was saying; Do you realize what you've done?

Princess Vespa: Yes, and I'm glad. Glad, glad, glad, glad, glad.

Dot Matrix: I wonder if she's glad.

Lone Starr: Called me an idiot! I'm going back there and explain a few things to her.

Dot Matrix: Besides he got a sexy voice. He might be cute.

Barf: Wait. You haven't seen what she looks like.

Lone Starr: I know what she looks like. You've seen one princess, you've seen them all.

Princess Vespa: Cute? I know these space bums, they're all alike. Fat, ugly...

Lone Starr: Buck-toothed, knock-kneed...

Princess Vespa: Beer-swilling pigs!

Lone Starr: Horse-faced space dogs!

Princess Vespa: [looking up at the night sky] Which one's yours?

Lone Starr: Who knows?

Princess Vespa: You don't know where you're from?

Lone Starr: Not really. I was found on the doorstep of a monastery.

Princess Vespa: A monastery? Where?

Lone Starr: Somewhere in the Ford Galaxy.

Dot Matrix: [Mega Maid is sucking the air away from Druidia] What'll we do?

Lone Starr: We've got to act fast. Step one, we reverse the vacuum and blow the air back onto the planet. Step two, we destroy that thing.

Princess Vespa: But isn't that dangerous?

Lone Starr: Extremely. Plus, I don't know how the hell we're gonna do it!

Princess Vespa: Hey! I don't have to put up with this! I'm rich!

Princess Vespa: What's going on?

Dot Matrix: It's either the 4th of July, or someone's trying to kill us!

Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows...

Lone Starr: It's coming from there.

Barf: That can't be her.

[Lone Starr and Barf walk toward the cell that the singing is coming from]

Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] ... the trouble I've seen...

[Lone Starr opens eye slot in jail cell door and sees Princess Vespa singing]

Princess Vespa: [singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows but Jesus.

Lone Starr: It's her.

Princess Vespa: [Barf looks in - Princess Vespa still singing in a very deep tone] Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.

Barf: She's a bass.

Princess Vespa: Ha, didn't even stay for the wedding. Just took his million spacebucks and ran.

King Roland: He didn't take the million...