Lori Craven Quotes in Soapdish (1991)

Celeste Talbert: I never said I was the best mother in the world. Give me a little credit, will you, credit for being someone who tried... to love you the only way she knew how?

Lori Craven: I know that speech.

Celeste Talbert: You do?

Lori Craven: Yeah, it was the, uh, the Thanksgiving show, when Maggie meets Bolt's blind nephew.

Lori Craven: Celeste, I want to act!

Celeste Talbert: Don't say that, "I want to act", ever, please!

Lori Craven: Hi. Uh, I'm Lori Craven and... I'm an actress.

Betsy Faye Sharon: An actress! Really! How nice for you! I'm Betsy Faye Sharon and I'm a bitch. Now get out of here.

Jeffrey Anderson: Of course I can kiss her!

Lori Craven: This is ridiculous! I can kiss who I want!

Celeste Talbert: No! You can't! You can't kiss her!

Jeffrey Anderson: Why because she's *your* neice?

Celeste Talbert: [shouts] No, you nitwit! Because she's my daughter! And your daughter.

Lori Craven: What?

Jeffrey Anderson: What are you talking about?

Celeste Talbert: We're her parents! *You* and I!

[sobbing]

Celeste Talbert: We're her Mommy and her Daddy.

Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird.

[to Montana]

Lori Craven: Do you mind?

Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave?

Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave.

Montana Moorehead: David...

David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please?

Montana Moorehead: No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally.

[storms out]

Montana Moorehead: [from off stage] I hate you! I hate you, you pig!

David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit.

Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch!

Lori Craven: Get out!

Celeste Talbert: [crying] Please try to understand what I am going through.

Lori Craven: I don't give a *shit* what you're going through!

Celeste Talbert: There's no need to use that kind of language.

Lori Craven: [shouts] Get out! Now!

David Barnes: [about Montana] She's got a lot of spirit.

Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch.

Lori Craven: You people have the morals of guinney pigs!

[scene switch back and forth of Celeste, Lori, and Jeffrey in Edwards' office]

Celeste Talbert: I never worked in an atmosphere like this before.

Jeffrey Anderson: This whole pregnancy thing is a scam! I resent being treated like a leper!

Lori Craven: Having to work with these two is a personal nightmare for me. I'm on the verge of a breakdown!

Celeste Talbert: I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown!

Jeffrey Anderson: I could conceivably have a breakdown.

Lori Craven: I mean, can you imagine what it's like having to face them on the set every single day?

Celeste Talbert: It just seems to get harder and harder, even though I devoted my entire life to this show.

Jeffrey Anderson: [walks back and forth lost for words] Uh...

Lori Craven: Mr. Edwards, it's them or me, that is the bottom line here. They go or I go!

Edwards: This is the toughest decision I ever have to make, but I get paid 1.2 million dollars to make these kind of command decisions. So here it is...

[eats a cracker]

[Jeffrey is about to prepare the brain transplant]

Lori Craven: MOTHER!

[Celeste sits up]

Lori Craven: No, I can't let you do this!

Burton White: She spoke?

Jeffrey Anderson: She spoke!

Montana Moorehead: Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!

Lori Craven: I can always speak! Mother...

Montana Moorehead: She's MY mother!

Celeste Talbert: MONTANA, SHUT UP!

Lori Craven: The hand thing is starting to sound rehearsed.

Jeffrey Anderson: Rehearsed? Maybe I need new material.

Lori Craven: No, I mean talk, like ourselves.

Jeffrey Anderson: Would you like to have dinner?

Lori Craven: Yes

Jeffrey Anderson: With me?

Lori Craven: Yes

Jeffrey Anderson: Just like that?