Ariel Maloney Quotes in Soapdish (1991)

Jeffrey Anderson: You have beautiful eyes.

Ariel Maloney: Ooh, they're nothing compared to my tits.

Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...

[At their table]

Ariel Maloney: Bitch!

David Barnes: Hag!

Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

Montana Moorehead: [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!

Jeffrey Anderson: [annoyed] I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me!

[Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]

Jeffrey Anderson: Doctor!

Ariel Maloney: A second opinion...

[Celeste mouths to Rose asking what she's doing]

Ariel Maloney: ...this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.

Rose Schwartz: Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse - Montana Moorehead - because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island. Hello!

[Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo]

Montana Moorehead: [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!

Ariel Maloney: Why, Bolt! I didn't realize you were here.

Bolt: Well... I am.

Ariel Maloney: New boy in town?

Jeffrey Anderson: Just got off the choo-choo... you have lovely eyes.

Ariel Maloney: They're nothing compared to my tits! You should come up and see them sometime!

Ariel Maloney: [after seeing Montana on the Enquirer, angry in tears] Bitch!