Edmund Edwards Quotes in Soapdish (1991)
Edmund Edwards Quotes:
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[Reading unrehearsed lines off the TelePrompTer]
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Dr. Randall, what a surprise! Are you having lunch here?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] I will if it's that sample. Huh... I wish it was that simple.
Edmund Edwards: [offstage] This guy never heard of contact lenses?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] The test results have come back.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] And?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. It seems that Angelique has a rare case of brake fluid...
[pause]
Jeffrey Anderson: Bran... fluid. Bran flavor.
Burton White: What the hell?
David Barnes: [offstage] Brain fever!
Edmund Edwards: [offstage, loudly] Say it!
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Brain fever!
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes. Brain fever. Or what we call in Austria...
[they both goggle at the word]
Jeffrey Anderson: Kopfgeschlagen. At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the...
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Literally explode?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Exactly, within the next three houses.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Hours?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, will literally explode within next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Restaurant?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Restaurant, yes.
Celeste Talbert: [as Maggie] Her brain will actually explode?
Jeffrey Anderson: [as Dr. Randall] Yes, yes, I've, um, seen it happen. It's a dreadful, dreadful thug. Thing.
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[offstage - watching the monitor as it is revealed on live TV that Montana is a man]
Edmund Edwards: She's a boy!
[long, incredulous pause]
David Barnes: Yeah, well we *knew* that.
[starts gagging]
Edmund Edwards: Are you okay?
David Barnes: [weak voice] I'm fine. I'm just going to go congratulate the others.
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Edmund Edwards: She's been through hell, and we're her family. So in this crisis, we have to support her.
Rose Schwartz: Yeah.
Edmund Edwards: We have to love her.
Rose Schwartz: Mmm.
Edmund Edwards: We have to care about her.
Rose Schwartz: Mmm.
Edmund Edwards: And we have to milk it for every drop of publicity we can get.
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