Montana Moorehead Quotes in Soapdish (1991)
Montana Moorehead Quotes:
Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney: Bitch!
David Barnes: Hag!
Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!
Montana Moorehead: [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!
Jeffrey Anderson: [annoyed] I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me!
[Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]
Jeffrey Anderson: Doctor!
Ariel Maloney: A second opinion...
[Celeste mouths to Rose asking what she's doing]
Ariel Maloney: ...this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.
Rose Schwartz: Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse - Montana Moorehead - because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island. Hello!
[Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo]
Montana Moorehead: [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!
Montana Moorehead: [after seeing Lori on People magazine] YOU - promised me you would get rid of Celeste. WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED!
David Barnes: Hey! We were never naked.
Montana Moorehead: Well, we could've been! Not only did you get rid of Celeste but you - YOU CREATED LORI! This ingÃ©nue from HELL! She has more lines than I do and she's a GOD... DAMN... MUTE!
Montana Moorehead: Get rid of Celeste and Mr Fuzzy is yours.
Montana Moorehead: [about Lori Craven] She has more lines than I do and she's a GOD DAMN MUTE!
Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird.
Lori Craven: Do you mind?
Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave?
Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave.
Montana Moorehead: David...
David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please?
Montana Moorehead: No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally.
Montana Moorehead: [from off stage] I hate you! I hate you, you pig!
David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit.
Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch!
David Barnes: Listen, she just won her 8th Schmenger, right? Edmund's crazy about her. She's got a lot of juice.
Montana Moorehead: Well, that's when you dump people, okay? When they're still on top, before they lose their popularity and drag the show down with them.
Montana Moorehead: [to David] What kind of moron are you?
David Barnes: So, who dies? It can't be one of the regulars...
Montana Moorehead: Not even Bolt?
David Barnes: Bolt? No, Bolt's gold, especially with that whole impotency thing coming up. One of the extras...
Montana Moorehead: One of the homeless, David, one of the homeless.
David Barnes: That's cruel.
Montana Moorehead: It's very cruel.
[Jeffrey is about to prepare the brain transplant]
Lori Craven: MOTHER!
[Celeste sits up]
Lori Craven: No, I can't let you do this!
Burton White: She spoke?
Jeffrey Anderson: She spoke!
Montana Moorehead: Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!
Lori Craven: I can always speak! Mother...
Montana Moorehead: She's MY mother!
Celeste Talbert: MONTANA, SHUT UP!
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