Montana Moorehead Quotes in Soapdish (1991)


Montana Moorehead Quotes:

  • Celeste Talbert: [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...

    [At their table]

    Ariel Maloney: Bitch!

    David Barnes: Hag!

    Montana Moorehead: I hate her so much!

  • Montana Moorehead: [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!

    Jeffrey Anderson: [annoyed] I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me!

    [Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]

    Jeffrey Anderson: Doctor!

    Ariel Maloney: A second opinion...

    [Celeste mouths to Rose asking what she's doing]

    Ariel Maloney: ...this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.

    Rose Schwartz: Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse - Montana Moorehead - because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island. Hello!

    [Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo]

    Montana Moorehead: [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!

  • Montana Moorehead: [after seeing Lori on People magazine] YOU - promised me you would get rid of Celeste. WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED!

    David Barnes: Hey! We were never naked.

    Montana Moorehead: Well, we could've been! Not only did you get rid of Celeste but you - YOU CREATED LORI! This ingénue from HELL! She has more lines than I do and she's a GOD... DAMN... MUTE!

  • Montana Moorehead: Get rid of Celeste and Mr Fuzzy is yours.

  • Montana Moorehead: [about Lori Craven] She has more lines than I do and she's a GOD DAMN MUTE!

  • Lori Craven: [bursting into David's office] We need to talk. Look, I don't care WHAT Tawny Miller says. This hat makes me look like the GOD damned Tweety Bird.

    [to Montana]

    Lori Craven: Do you mind?

    Montana Moorehead: You, you're asking me to leave?

    Lori Craven: That's right. I'm asking you to leave.

    Montana Moorehead: David...

    David Barnes: Miss Moorehead, may Miss Craven and I have a moment alone, please?

    Montana Moorehead: No problem. I'm a professional. I do things professionally.

    [storms out]

    Montana Moorehead: [from off stage] I hate you! I hate you, you pig!

    David Barnes: She's got a lot of spirit.

    Lori Craven: She's a deranged bitch!

  • David Barnes: Listen, she just won her 8th Schmenger, right? Edmund's crazy about her. She's got a lot of juice.

    Montana Moorehead: Well, that's when you dump people, okay? When they're still on top, before they lose their popularity and drag the show down with them.

  • Montana Moorehead: [to David] What kind of moron are you?

  • David Barnes: So, who dies? It can't be one of the regulars...

    Montana Moorehead: Not even Bolt?

    David Barnes: Bolt? No, Bolt's gold, especially with that whole impotency thing coming up. One of the extras...

    Montana Moorehead: One of the homeless, David, one of the homeless.

    David Barnes: That's cruel.

    Montana Moorehead: It's very cruel.

  • [Jeffrey is about to prepare the brain transplant]

    Lori Craven: MOTHER!

    [Celeste sits up]

    Lori Craven: No, I can't let you do this!

    Burton White: She spoke?

    Jeffrey Anderson: She spoke!

    Montana Moorehead: Sudden speech, the last stages of brain fever! She can blow up any moment!

    Lori Craven: I can always speak! Mother...

    Montana Moorehead: She's MY mother!

    Celeste Talbert: MONTANA, SHUT UP!

Browse more character quotes from Soapdish (1991)