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Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. -- Woody Allen
Life is a wretched gray Saturday, but it has to be lived through. -- Anthony Burgess
My work is like my vacation, so in a way every day is like Saturday. -- Ludacris
This generation is so dead. You ask a kid, 'What are you doing this Saturday?' and they'll be playing video games or watching cable, instead of building model cars or airplanes or doing something creative. Kids today never say, 'Man, I'm really into remote-controlled steamboats.' -- Jack White
Saturday is an illusion. -- Nelson Rodrigues
Different cocktails for different Saturday nights. -- Drew Barrymore
Every man has a right to a Saturday night bath. -- Lyndon B. Johnson
Middle-age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. -- Ogden Nash
The dog doesn't know the difference between Saturday, Sunday, and Monday, so I have to walk the dog early those days too. -- Donna Shalala
OKAY. So I was going to the library every Saturday. So what? So what? It's not like I was reading books or anything. -- Gary D. Schmidt
I have to be alone very often. I'd be quite happy if I spent from Saturday night until Monday morning alone in my apartment. That's how I refuel. -- Audrey Hepburn
We have to get families back in the game, get back where Saturday night, everything stops. A case of beer comes out and a bottle of rye and anyone who comes to the house, they better want to watch hockey. -- Bobby Hull
There was nothing like a Saturday - unless it was the Saturday leading up to the last week of school and into summer vacation. That of course was all the Saturdays of your life rolled into one big shiny ball. -- Nora Roberts
I was an OK boxer, I wasn't great, I was OK, but I loved the discipline of getting together every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, usually Saturday afternoons too, with a whole bunch of mates and training, very, very hard for about two-and-half hours. -- Liam Neeson
We used to go to the pictures every Saturday night but we had to leave a little bit early and get home and watch Match of the Day - and my wife still complains she missed the last five minutes of every film we saw. -- Brian Clough
On Saturday, he ate through one piece of chocolate cake, one ice-cream cone, one pickle, one slice of Swiss cheese, one slice of salami, one lollipop, one piece of cherry pie, one sausage, one cupcake, and one slice of watermelon That night he had a stomach ache. -- Eric Carle
With Saturday morning cartoons, you've got to start at 6 A.M., right? -- Jim Rash
If you see me on Friday, you'll see different material on Saturday night. -- Kathy Griffin
I want to be a footballer - and that means playing on a Saturday afternoon. -- Charlie Adam
I'm not an early bird at all. Ideally, on Saturday morning I'd allow myself a lovely lie-in. 10:45 would be just right. -- Shilpa Shetty
In New York it seems like there's no Monday or Saturday or Sunday. The town is always moving. The vibe is great. -- Thierry Henry
Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. -- Ogden Nash
My aunt had a season ticket for the Friday afternoon concerts, and I would go down for lessons. My lessons were Saturday morning. -- Robert Ripley
Some had the custom of receiving the Eucharist daily, some twice a week, some on the Lord's day, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday, some only on the Lord's Day. -- Martin Chemnitz
Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool. -- Tina Fey
For my 50th birthday, I got ahold of a new print of 'Saturday Night Fever.' I see it much more as a tough coming-of-age movie than as a disco story. -- Gene Siskel
When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards. -- Tina Fey
When I go to Rome, I fast on Saturday, but in Milan I do not. Do you also follow the custom of whatever church you attend, if you do not want to give or receive scandal. -- Saint Ambrose
I think 'Saturday Night Live', starting in the 1970s, really gave women an outlet to be funny. A lot of those women went on to have film careers, from Kristen Wiig now to Tina Fey and Gilda Radner. -- Emma Stone
Saturday Night Live' was actually started with a show that Lorne Michaels and I did at a summer camp called Timberlane in Ontario when we were 14 and 15. We would do an improvisational show with music, comedy and acting. -- Howard Shore
I came home every Friday afternoon, riding the six miles on the back of a big mule. I spent Saturday and Sunday washing and ironing and cooking for the children and went back to my country school on Sunday afternoon. -- Ida B. Wells
Saturday night is your big night. Everybody used to fry up fish and have one hell of a time. Find me playing till sunrise for 50 cents and a sandwich. And be glad of it. And they really liked the low-down blues. -- Muddy Waters
Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show. -- Adam Sandler
I was meant to date the captain of the football team, I was going to be on a romantic excursion every Saturday night, I was destined to be collecting corsages from every boy in town before prom, accepting such floral offerings like competing sacrifices to a Delphic goddess. -- Elizabeth Wurtzel
I don't know what your childhood was like, but we didn't have much money. We'd go to a movie on a Saturday night, then on Wednesday night my parents would walk us over to the library. It was such a big deal, to go in and get my own book. -- Robert Redford
I gave my players a version of the same message at ten-to-three every Saturday: 'I would shoot my granny right now for three points this afternoon.' They knew how important it was to give everything in the cause of victory. Every time. That's why my granny enjoyed more lives than my cat. -- Brian Clough
The Tuesday scowls, the Wednesday growls, the Thursday curses, the Friday howls, the Saturday snores, the Sunday yawns, the Monday morns, the Monday morns. The whacks, the moans, the cracks, the groans, the welts, the squeaks, the belts, the shrieks, the pricks, the prayers, the kicks, the tears, the skelps, and the yelps. -- Samuel Beckett
Disneyland really began when my two daughters were very young. Saturday was always Daddy's Day and I would take them to the merry-go-round, and sit on a bench eating peanuts while they rode. And sitting there alone, I felt there should be something built, some kind of family park where parents and children could have fun together. -- Walt Disney
Writing is like a contact sport, like football. Why do kids play football? They can get hurt on any play, can't they? Yet they can't wait until Saturday comes around so they can play on the high school team, or the college team, and get smashed around. Writing is like that. You can get hurt, but you enjoy it! -- Irwin Shaw
I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great. -- Will Ferrell
It is a peculiarity of knitters that they chronically underestimate the amount of time it takes to knit something. Birthday on Saturday? No problem. Socks are small. Never mind that the average sock knit out of sock-weight yarn contains about 17,000 stitches. Never mind that you need two of them. (That's 34,000 stitches, for anybody keeping track.) Socks are only physically small. By stitch count, they are immense. -- Stephanie Pearl-McPhee
I enjoy Saturday night racing. -- Dale Earnhardt
Sunday comes after Saturday? Weird. -- Justin Bieber
Satire is what closes Saturday night. -- Juvenal
Satire is what closes on Saturday night. -- George S. Kaufman
I'd like to do 'Saturday Night Live.' -- Willard Scott
Another Saturday night and I ain't got nobody".. -- Sam Cooke
Who are taking to the witch burning Saturday night? -- Stan Freberg
Saturday Night Live' was like a university for funny. -- Tracy Morgan
I'm a footballer, I don't think past next Saturday. -- Joleon Lescott
Music is what mathematics does on a Saturday night. -- Aaron Sorkin
Saturday night is the loneliest night in the week. -- Sammy Cahn
It's hard to nap on Saturday or the weekends. -- Scott Eastwood
Get on yo job little man this ain't Saturday -- J. Cole
Saturday Night Live' was the joy of my life. -- Tracy Morgan
Live every day as if it were Saturday night. -- Al McGuire
I'm not worried about the weekend, I'm worried about Saturday. -- Pete Sampras
Every Saturday I read sentences in SPIEGEL that lack clarity. -- Horst Seehofer
I play American football every Saturday, which I find calming. -- Chad Harbach
It's a fine line between Saturday night and Sunday morning. -- Jimmy Buffett
If you want a neat wife, choose her on a Saturday. -- Benjamin Franklin
'Saturday Night Live' is live television. Nothing can compare to that. -- Tracy Morgan
Yes, ever since antiquity, the day after Friday has been Saturday. -- Mizuki Nomura
Saturday night is perfect for writers because other people have "plans. -- Mike Birbiglia
The '80s were all about 'Saturday Night's Main Event.' -- Freddie Prinze, Jr.
Best scene in college football is at LSU on a Saturday night. -- Beano Cook
I wanted to be on 'Saturday Night Live' since I was ten. -- Olivia Wilde
Rich People plan for three generations Poor people plan for Saturday night -- Gloria Steinem
Football is a religion and Saturday is the holy day of obligation. -- Bob Ufer
Living in LA is like not having a date on Saturday night. -- Candice Bergen
The entire behind the scenes of Saturday Night Live are all Canadian. -- Jamie Farr
When I was on 'Saturday Night Live,' all I did was work. -- Molly Shannon
I've only got a Saturday job so my weekdays are generally pretty free. -- Gary Lineker
I wish I got a lie-in on Saturday mornings but I never do. -- Monica Ali
Schoolteachers are not fully appreciated by parents until it rains all day Saturday. -- Charles E. McKenzie
You can go on 'Saturday Night Live' now and not even play live. -- Raphael Saadiq
Saturday was 90 minutes when people would judge whether we were the real deal -- Claudio Reyna
Before I had children, everything about my life was devoted to Saturday Night Live. -- Maya Rudolph
We've got a major scandal with Clinton. Plus, Halloweens on a Saturday this year. -- C. Sue Carter
The trouble with Freud is that he never played the Glasgow Empire Saturday night. -- Ken Dodd
Saturday is a day for the spa. RELAX, indulge, enjoy, and love yourself, too. -- Ana Monnar
My one light American Spirit that I smoke once a week, on Saturday night. -- Gwyneth Paltrow
I think people would want to see Tracy Morgan host 'Saturday Night Live.' -- Tracy Morgan
If it weren't for The Groundlings, I would never be on Saturday Night Live. -- Chris Kattan
It rained all that night. The next day was Saturday, the Fourth of July. -- Michael Shaara
Saturday morning, you knew what was cool by what was on 'Soul Train.' -- Nick Cannon
Between Monday and Saturday men make an audience. On Sunday, they make a congregation. -- Mokokoma Mokhonoana
It was a Saturday, soft and silent, when the Wind spoke for the first time. -- James Hugh Comey
It's always nerve-wracking when you're hosting 'Saturday Night Live.' You either sink or swim. -- Christina Aguilera
I love Saturday morning cartoons. What do you like to do on a Saturday morning? -- Wayne Brady
When I was young, I would make my parents breakfast in bed on Saturday mornings. -- Tom Douglas
Learning dance steps was the sorry Saturday night pursuit of every boardinghouse girl in America. -- Amor Towles
It's basically the same, just darker. (on racing Saturday nights as opposed to Sunday afternoons, 1991 -- Alan Kulwicki
I didn't always have 14,000 people wanting to hang out with me on a Saturday night. -- Taylor Swift
Saturday night is when my hair would be fixed up and that was my memory. -- Jenifer Lewis
Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise. -- W.S. Gilbert
Holy Saturday. The best reminder that the silence of God doesn't equal the absence of God. -- Tullian Tchividjian
Your Monday is not going to be like Saturday; the emotions are going to be different. -- Jean Grae
With Saturday Night Live you're looking for any hook, any way to stay on the show. -- David Spade
If you can't be bothered to work on Saturday, don't bother to come in on Sunday. -- Jay Chiat
Every Saturday we work in the yard, pick up the dog doo, hope that it's hard. -- Joe Walsh
My folks always let me go to the movies every Saturday. We were really motion-picture goers. -- John Wayne
Libraries should be open to all - except the censor. [Response to questionnaire in Saturday Review, October 29 1960] -- John F. Kennedy
Friday and Saturday nights have a funny way of revealing what we really believe on Sunday mornings. -- Mark Hart
I grew up writing about the paranormal, and I blame too many Saturday mornings watching Scooby Doo. -- Kelley Armstrong
Saturday and Sunday mornings are the only time the children are allowed to turn on the television. -- Mariella Frostrup
In God's good time, Which does not always fall on Saturday When the world looks for wages. -- Robert Browning
Your religion is not what you do on Sunday. It is how you live Monday through Saturday. -- Shannon L. Alder
I actually wrote my first zombie book way before I got the job on 'Saturday Night Live. -- Max Brooks
I took my portrait that Kaufman did of me home from the Saturday Night Live TV set. -- Eddie Murphy
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I grew up writing about the paranormal, and I blame too many Saturday mornings watching 'Scooby Doo.' -- Kelley Armstrong
I actually wrote my first zombie book way before I got the job on 'Saturday Night Live.' -- Max Brooks
There are ... just two kinds of girls. Those who go down town Saturday nights, and those who don't. -- Edna Ferber
My favorite way to spend Saturday is in and out of bed, watching sports on TV and eating. -- Alan King
I wasn't really qualified to be on Saturday Night Live - I'm not like an impressionist or anything. -- Victoria Jackson
Saturday Night Fever,' Paula Abdul, 'Fame,' Debbie Allen... all affected me and the generation before me. -- Laurieann Gibson
'Saturday Night Fever,' Paula Abdul, 'Fame,' Debbie Allen... all affected me and the generation before me. -- Laurieann Gibson
On Saturday, I was a surgeon in South Africa, very little known. On Monday, I was world renowned. -- Christiaan Barnard
It's cold out there, colder than a ticket taker's smile at the Ivar Theatre on a Saturday night. -- Tom Waits

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