Adam Sandler quotes:

Doing Saturday Night Live definitely affects my relationship with my girlfriend and with my family, because you feel so much pressure to do well that night. But I think everyone's grown to accept that and so they give me my space at the show.

My sisters are stronger and my brother's bigger than me.

I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.

It definitely has learning a lesson about the way you're living your life. I wouldn't compare our movie to that, but it has a structure where it's about a man who doesn't appreciate all that he has and finds out at the end that life has been great and he has to enjoy that.

I'm 31 now. I think I'm beginning to understand what life is, what romance is, and what a relationship means.

Now that I'm a parent, I understand why my father was in a bad mood a lot.

I'm not comfortable being around too many people. I don't like being out in public too much. I don't like going to bars. I don't like doing celebrity stuff. So most of the characters I play are people who don't always feel comfortable beyond their small circle of friends.

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees it.

Chemistry can be a good and bad thing. Chemistry is good when you make love with it. Chemistry is bad when you make crack with it.

I mean, I look at my dad. He was twenty when he started having a family, and he was always the coolest dad. He did everything for his kids, and he never made us feel like he was pressured. I know that it must be a great feeling to be a guy like that.

We just bought this house. It's too big. It's like 400,000 square feet, or something. We got an indoor lake and ski slope in the house! It's just too big.

I think the reason I don't read is because, when I'm reading, I feel like I'm missing out on something else. You know, What are my friends doing? Where's my girlfriend?

I do love the films I've done in the past. I work hard in my movies and my friends work hard and we're trying to make people laugh and I'm very proud of that.

SNL is a home. You've got all of your brothers and sisters there, and it's a great time.

When I do stand-up shows at colleges, girls will talk to me after the show, and that always feels good. I like talking to them.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'

This character feels so much like my brother. He has two children. He has a wife. He works with me. He chooses to stay in New Hampshire because he wants his kids to grow up in the school they started with. He doesn't want them to lose friends. He is his family's hero.

I shouldn't be near Vegas and have money in my pocket.

Through my films I'm eventually trying to one day tell the truth. I don't know if I'm ever going to get there, but I'm slowly letting pieces of myself out there and then maybe by the time I'm 85, I'll look back and say, 'All right, that about sums it up.'

My grandmother used to embarrass me more, when she would pick me up from school wearing a big fuzzy hat. I didn't like that.

I definitely connected to the fact that life gets out of control and you end up doing things and wishing you were doing other things instead.

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good a dad as my dad.

The Canteen Boy, the reason you feel bad for him and you can laugh is because he, and I guess a lot of my characters, they don't notice they're getting made fun of. So they'll say something back that's not that great a quip, but in their mind they won the argument.

Feels good to try, but playing a father, I'm getting a little older. I see now that I'm taking it more serious and I do want that lifestyle.

As a kid, I'd go into the bathroom when I was having a tantrum. I'd be in the bathroom crying, studying myself in the mirror. I was preparing for future roles.

When I'm up there, and I know the show's coming to a close, in my head I'm saying to myself, Oh man, you gotta get off and be a normal person again. That's what I don't like so much.

I grew up cursing a lot. It felt natural. My parents told me to stop.

I was raised by a mother who told me I was great every day of my life.

Kids end up seeing my movies anyway but some of the mothers get mad at me so I figured I'd make one that I can't get yelled at for.

In high school I wanted to be a rock star and was in a lot of bands.

I've always had lots of friends and my house was the house they all hung out at.

I wasn't a kid growing up thinking, 'One day I'll get an Oscar and make a speech.' That wasn't on my mind.

I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it.

I've always liked older ladies, ever since my mother would have B'nai B'rith at our house.

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect.

I'm not great at bedtime stories. Bedtime stories are supposed to put the kid to sleep. My kid gets riled up and then my wife has to come in and go, 'All right! Get out of the room.'"

Wrap the turkey up in aluminum foil, my brother like to masturbate with baby oil.

I'm in a mood, Dave. A bad mood, a very bad mood! I was fired from my ice cream truck job today! No more Fudgicles!

I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

Bedtime stories were definitely a big part of my life because I was just so excited my father was talking to me.

The idea of my kids being spoiled, I go to sleep thinking about it. I wake up thinking about. I'm trying to do the right thing. With the amount of money I have, it's difficult to raise children the way I was raised. But I took away the west and north wing of the house for those guys. So, they're not allowed in there.

I finished a big book the other day. 421 pages. That's a lot of coloring when you think about it.

My father wasn't perfect. He had a temper. I took some of that. He would snap, but the older he got, he started calming down. He learned about life, but the thing that he taught my whole family was that family was the most important thing and, no matter what, if a family member needs you, you go and help them out; you get there.

When I was kid, yeah, my family, my parents wanted me to marry a Jewish girl because that was what they taught their children, and thought it would be an easier life for me to raise a Jewish kid. And I have a Jewish wife, I have a Jewish kid. They seem pretty happy about it.

Comedy, such a lovely lady, she'll pick you up, you your feeling blue.

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue...

Hanukkah is...the festival of lights, instead of one day of presents, we get eight crazy nights

I'm filthy rich! It's good to be Adam Sandler!

Some of us will never ever find true love. Take, for instance me. And I'm pretty sure that guy right there. And that lady with the sideburns. And basically everybody at table nine.

Paul Newman's half Jewishand Florence Henderson's half, tooPut them together,What a fine looking Jew!

If a girl breaks up with me, I want her to just die, just be dead. Not 'cause I hate her so much as it's just easier for when my friends go, 'Hey, what happened?' 'Oh, she's dead. I'd still be with her, but she's dead. What can I do? She was loving me, but she's dead.'

I'm just looking to make good movies and looking to be as good as I can be in them and that's about it. But I feel much more comfortable doing a comedy, but the fact that I got to try a few dramas, I feel I've tested myself a little bit.

I'm sure everyone's got their back story. I don't come from a place of where I was tortured and needed to let something out. I came from a very happy home. I was a little out of control at times. But my family... we all liked to be funny, we all liked to make each other laugh.

I wanted to make sure that I did one movie in my career that mothers hug me for.

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles.

I prefer musicals, because I am the best dancer who ever lived. The best plies, the best sashays, and by far the best-smelling Capezios.

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna grow old with you.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can.I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that.

Well, we're living in a material world, and I'm a material girl... or boy.

Well I have a microphone and you don't so you will listen to every damn word I have to say!

Sir one more comment like that and I will strangle you with my microphone wire!

Alright, remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals nobody likes you.

With the amount of money I have, it's difficult raising children the way I was raised.

You know, when you don't go on TV and talk about how many women you sleep with, some people in Hollywood, that are supposedly 'in the know,' start whispering that you're gay. If I were gay, I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, but I'm not.

To be honest with you, when I got into this I never thought about reviews. I never thought about what people would say about me. I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

I sing seriously to my mom on the phone. To put her to sleep, I have to sing 'Maria' from West Side Story. When I hear her snoring, I hang up.

When I was younger and did a stand-up gig, it would take me two weeks to recover. Sometimes I'd get so panicked that I would stutter.

My name is Adam Sandler. I'm not particularly talented. I'm not particularly good-looking. And yet I'm a multi-millionaire.

I'll continue to make the typical Adam Sandler comedies.

When you're around the kids, you feel like you act the most grown up just because you're supposed to lead. I say things, like every other parent, that reminds you of your own parents. One thing I do know about being a parent, you understand why your father was in a bad mood a lot.

My movies just kind of sneak up on you. I don't have to worry too much about what everybody is going to say. Anyway, I really don't pay attention to what the world says about my movies. I just care about what my buddies think.

I still get very scared when I step in front of a live audience.

I've been called a moron since I was about four. My father called me a moron. My grandfather said I was a moron. And a lot of times when I'm driving, I hear I'm a moron. I like being a moron.

I was just a young guy who was excited to become a comedian and an actor and I just wanted to get to do what I got to do.

My comedy is different every time I do it. I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

God gave me some weird, beautiful scent that makes men and women go crazy. People compare it to Carvel. It is a whale of a smell.

I grew up cursing a lot.

When I take my kid to school, all the parents stop and stare.

I'm not looking to get away from anything. I like what I've done. I like what I get to do and I enjoy working with my friends. I loved those movies, but this is incredible.

How do I speak Spanish? Not too well.

I don't know what drives me to succeed. I know I want to always do the best I can. I never was like that as a kid.

When the kids are laughing in the audience, I tear up, I'm so happy I did a nice thing.

Me and Fred Wolf wrote the movie [ Grown Ups]. The whole idea was about putting together old friends that get to hang out for a weekend.

I have a love in my life. It makes me stronger than anything you can imagine.

I do want children. I study dads more. I watch what they go through. I admire my father more than I ever did and my brother and my sister.

Of course, I peed my pants, everyone my age pees their pants. It's the coolest

I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thing and making movies and stuff, I love it so much that I do get driven to push myself as hard as I can.

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' I'm not going to fall asleep for a few hours. What are my hobbies? There was the masturbation option. I skipped that because just knowing my kids are down the hall I felt psychotic. So, I went with watching more TV. I couldn't come up with anything. I was going, 'God, read a book.' Then I was like this, 'Where do I keep the books?' I've got nothing to do but watch TV.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing; I like what I've been doing. I believe in what I've done in the past and I hope to make a movie that; I hope my kid enjoys the movies I've made and enjoys some of the movies in the future.

Put on your yarmulkahHere comes HannukahSo much funnukahTo celebrate Hannukah

The difference when you have kids comes up when someone wants to meet you out after 9:30 at night. You consider that giant sacrifice. You're like, "Do I do this? Do I stay out until 10:30 and be angry, all of tomorrow?

I drew the duck blue because I've never seen a blue duck before and, to be honest with you I wanted to see a blue duck.

The toughest part is that when your kid's upset, you're upset. You're rocked until they're not upset. Even when they're not upset, you're like, "I hope that doesn't happen, down the line." You're always nervous because you want your kid to be happy.

Never seen my friends do more push-ups, trying to challenge Cruises' manhood. It was like, I can be strong, too!

Like every other rich asshole, I have a cook and he's in my trailer making food all the time.

I know I want to always do the best I can.

You've just got to give yourself time - that's good advice I think. Give yourself time to figure out what you're good at and what you're not good at.

I don't like being on a horse. That's the only negative of doing a Western. I like the whole get up, and I look great in a hat. But I get tense around horses. So, if they could make a fake horse, then I'd do a Western.

I've got the kid. I feel a little more relief that I don't have to just think about myself too much.

I think I'm playing grown up because I have kids now. But I don't feel grown up yet.

I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy.

Sometimes you can't prioritise family and you feel guilty.

It's hard to soar with the eagles when you're surrounded by turkeys.

I really do enjoy making movies and I try to test myself on occasion with some different stuff.

My name is Adam. My father's name is Adam. Having the same name as your father, it's alright until your voice changes. My friends would always call up, 'Is Adam there?' My father would say, 'This is Adam.' My friends would say, 'Adam, you were so wasted last night.'

It's just weird that out of nowhere God said, May the three best-looking guys in Hollywood have babies - Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and me. It was bizarre that God said, I want to make the planet more beautiful, and I got the call.

I don't want to run around with new people. I feel safer with my friends.

Most of the stuff I do on the show comes out of me just trying to make my friends laugh.

I'm a big fan of money. I like it, I use it, I have a little. I keep it in a jar on top of my refrigerator. I'd like to put more in that jar. That's where you come in.

Back to school to prove to Dad that I'm not a fool.

A lot of critics object to what I do, but I got into comedy to make people laugh, and I've always worked hard.

Through my films I'm eventually trying to one day tell the truth. I don't know if I'm ever going to get there, but I'm slowly letting pieces of myself out there and then maybe by the time I'm 85, I'll look back and say, 'All right, that about sums it up.

I wish I was a better athlete. That would have been a little cooler, being a great boxer and walking into a room and going: "I can knock everybody out!" That's a good feeling.

It's nice when little teams win.

I don't want my kid to hear any of the albums that I've made.

We [ with Andy Samberg] knew each other for the last few years, our names are similar, our looks are a little bit similar, and our backgrounds are similar. The Judaism is quite similar.

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week.

I was a big fan of Kurt Russell growing up and I always wanted to be the modern day Kurt Russell.