Will Ferrell quotes:

The funny guy doesn't get the girl until later in life. High school, college, everyone still wants the brooding, dangerous guy you shouldn't have.

Saturday Night Live is such a comedy boot camp in a way, because you get to work with so many different people who come in to host the show and you get thrown into so many situations and learn how to think on your feet, so filmmaking actually feels slow, in a good way.

I speak as much Spanish as anyone who has grown up in Southern California or Texas or Arizona. I had my three years of high-school Spanish and a couple of semesters in college.

I'm a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking - mostly Thai food.

My dad turned me onto Peter Sellers as a kid. I loved the fact that he was a unique combination of being extremely subtle and over-the-top all at the same time, and that's a hard thing to do. I admire that.

I think with the success of, like, every summer there has been a couple R-rated comedies that have done so well; I think it is so nice to see that people are turning out to see these movies, and it doesn't seem to be as big a stigma with the studios anymore.

Oftentimes, even as a little kid, I would get up before anyone else. My brother would still be sleeping, my mom would still be sleeping, so I would literally play 'Monopoly' by myself. I would play board games; I would do things by myself.

I was never a class clown or anything like that, but I do remember being in the first grade and my teacher, Mr. Chad, told the class one day that we were going to do some exercises. He meant math exercises, but I stood up and started doing jumping jacks. To this day, I don't know what possessed me to do that, but all my friends cracked up.

I always just forced myself to do crazy things in public. In college I would push an overhead projector across campus with my pants just low enough to show my butt. Then my friend would incite the crowd to be like, 'Look at that idiot!' That's how I got over being shy.

When I was a kid, 'Land of the Lost' was my favorite show, just because it was - in the landscape of Saturday morning cartoons - it was so unique. It was a live-action show and kids were in it, these creatures, these Sleestaks and dinosaurs. Every week was a different adventure. I couldn't wait. I loved it so much.

In junior high P.E., I was way too shy to take a shower in front of the other kids. It was a horribly awkward time - body hair, odors... So I'd go from my sweaty shirt back into my regular clothes and have to continue the day.

I've never been a conceited person or cocky, never felt boastful, but I always had a sense of self-worth; I always had a real sense of myself.

My kind of wanting to be funny didn't come from need, necessarily. The closest I can analyze it is that it was an easy way to make friends, I found out. It was just a great kind of social tool.

I did plenty of jobs that I hated. I was a bank teller and terrible at it. I parked cars, a valet. I answered phones. I somehow avoided being a waiter. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep the order straight. I'm not much of a multi-tasker.

Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.'

Enjoy the little fun things - like taking your kids to school - before they're all grown up.

Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make,' and I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film.

I remember going with my mom to a random garage sale as a kid and thinking what a cool treasure hunt that whole world was. Only to transition as an adult to think, 'What a gross place that really is.'

I was a strange kid in that, while most kids hate school and want to turn 18 or 21, I loved high school.

I don't know about living on an automatic pilot, but I've had times where I've decided to just test myself and my mettle, and for no good reason other than it's what life is. Even before I was acting, I had, like, one day in high school I decided to just show them my pajamas, just for no good reason.

If you are going to wrestle a bear, try to stay away from all fish oil products, you know. I mean it's tough for me, because I love to rub myself with salmon oil every day - it's a great conditioner for the hair, skin.

I'm a Cancer; I'm music-passionate. I like long walks on the beach.

I know the nature of comedy, and you never know what will happen with the next movie or whether people will find it funny.

I hate when someone drives my car and resets all the radio presets. I don't understand it. If I was ever driving someone's car, I would never touch the things that were set.

All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead.

I left home to go to college, and then I moved back home. I moved back for three years from 21 to 24.

I always find it actually funny that the analysis is that the characters I play in comedies are the manchild, the adolescent, characters that refuse to grow up. And yet, if you look back in the history of comedy all the way back to the Marx brothers, that's a big part of comedy.

A lot of people have gotten into comedy because of certain influences in their lives or events that were painful, and I really have wracked my brain to figure it out. I pretty much have had a normal childhood. Maybe it was too normal.

I grew up in an entertainment family, and so I saw how susceptible you are to the ups and downs of this business.

I've had moments in my life when I've thought if I wasn't acting, if I wasn't doing what I do and I had a career in the private sector and I didn't have a family, that I do have some tendencies where I could really kind of have a monastic existence and be okay with it.

When you're doing an out-and-out comedy, the notion of preparing for a character - I hope I don't reveal too much of myself here - but, uh, no, I'm not doing anything.

I've always loved watching the news on TV. As a kid, I loved watching Walter Cronkite, for some reason.

I'm a Progressive. Much in the same way our founding fathers - who, oddly enough, wouldn't get elected today - were Progressives.

Happens I am very political. I have deep political instincts.

I think a lot of the instincts you have doing comedy are really the same for doing drama, in that it's essentially about listening. The way I approach comedy, is you have to commit to everything as if it's a dramatic role, meaning you play it straight.

There's nothing sexy about Orange County.

In the fourth grade, I learned how to fake walking into a door. You know, you hit it with your hand and snap your head back. The girls loved it.

One of my first memories of being a kid was, 'I want to have a real job when I grow up.' And to me that meant you wear a suit and a hat and carry a briefcase and go to your job.

I've always been noted for being original and doing different thing. So for me to hop on the train that's going on would be - shoot, if I wanted to hop on the train, I might as well have hopped on gangsta rap back when it was popular and tried to do that.

That's what I think works the best, and what I think makes the best comedy - something that's completely committed and more approached as an acting exercise, as opposed to being worried about whether to be funny or not. The comedy comes from the context.

You know you can be having a bad day and someone will walk by and say: 'Hey, I love you, Will.' That really cheers you up. That's a really lovely thing.

In every circle of friends there's always that one person everyone secretly hates. Don't have one? Then it's probably you.

Now we have food networks and everything. CNN was the beginning of all of that.

Molly Shannon and I used to always talk about that we really felt strongly that we were comedic actors, that we weren't comedians. You just played things real and the comedy came out of the context.

Handling a painful situation in a comedic way is truly the funniest. That is extremely real to me and not kind of clownish. There is a thin line though; you can't overdo it.

I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs.

I'm a sex addict. It's my cross to bear. It's a real disease with doctors and medicine and everything!

Well, I could be wrong, but I believe diversity is an old, old wooden ship that was used during the Civil War era.

Often times I'm confronted with a quote that I don't remember saying. So, on one hand it's very flattering, it is just so surreal.

As you set off into the world, don't be afraid to question your leaders. But don't ask too many questions at one time or that are too hard because your leaders get tired and/or cranky.

There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat, and I built a boat.

I've always wanted to sail around the world in a handmade boat. And I built a boat. I had a boat built for me, I mean, and my second day out to sea I realized that (a) I'm not a sailor, and (b) I have no knowledge of basic navigation.

Immature is aword boring people use to describe fun people.

Inappropriate behavior makes me laugh.

I think my new iPhone 5S is broken. I pressed the home button and I'm still at work

I'd love to become like Bill Murray, who was so funny on 'Saturday Night Live' and has gone on to do some of the landmark comedies people like. And then to add this whole other phase to his career with 'Lost in Translation' and 'Rushmore.' I always felt to be able to have something similar to that would be great.

I hate when new parents ask who the baby looks like. It was born 15 minutes ago, it looks like a potato

I just Fell Down the Stairs Holding a Guitar and Accidentally Wrote a One Direction Song

Some artists are definitely trying to do different styles. Some, not a lot. But even from what you've seen [of] Outkast, Kanye West, and Lil' Wayne, and different people expressing their way of evolving in hip-hop. In the evolution of hip-hop, they're doing different things. And you've seen hip-hop have more of a global presence and impact on the world.

Personal philosophy: Clothing optional

Alcohol is like Photoshop for real life

I have the physique a lot of people dream about having. It's my obligation to share it with the world.

A fashion plate, a rock star in his own mind, Megamind is more showman than deadly menace.

I often don't think a lot about the ramifications of anything I do.

It'd be great to be in a position where you can make choices regardless of money. My tastes are always gonna lead me to go for the amazing project where I'm being paid in Turkish cantaloupes.

I don't really have aspirations to be Tom Hanks.

When I first started doing sketch comedy, I promised myself that if I were ever to have any success in this business, I wouldn't hold back. Why get there and play it safe?

When I was ten, I wrote an essay on what I would be when I grew up and said I would be a professional soccer player and a comedian in off season.

I will watch a movie that is quote unquote dark and not get the qualification of what is dark and what is not.

I'm the minority in my house sometimes. My wife is Swedish, and we go to Sweden and everyone is rattling off in Swedish. It's like, 'OK, I can just read a book.'

On the set of an independent film you can tell that nobody is doing it for the money. Everyone is there because they love the script. A smaller budget sort of unifies everyone; it's a real team effort and that's amazing. But these opportunities just don't present themselves that often for me, so basically any chance I get to do something different I jump on it.

I am a bit of a gourmet chef. I love cooking mostly Thai food. And a lot of times on movies, you have these trailers that have these little ovens and kitchenettes. A lot of actors never use them, but I would cook lunch just about every day.

I left 'Saturday Night Live' without a film to go to, and I'd filmed 'Old School' while I was in my last season of the show, and that hadn't come out yet. I was a free agent, in a way, but I knew it was time to leave the show and test the water.

I Was so Drunk, I Thought a Tube of Toothpaste Was Astronaut Food.

Whenever someone calls me ugly I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do?

No matter how much you screw up your own life by the wrong decisions that you make, it's never too late to do the right thing and change your ways and you can teach old dogs new tricks.

I've never had a yard sale, ever, in my life. I don't know if I ever thought about stuff I would get rid of.

It's tough for me to get rid of clothes. I grew up in a household with a limited budget and we really had to make our nice clothes last, and so now I'll get free pairs of shoes and this, that and the other and I'll be like, 'Oh great!'; even though it stresses me out that I don't have enough room to put them, I can't throw them away.

By the time I was ready for college, I didn't know what I wanted to do. I think I secretly wanted a show business career, but I was suppressing it.

I have only been funny about seventy four per cent of the time. Yes I think that is right. Seventy-four per cent of the time.

I love playing the macho guy who looks like an idiot.

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.

I think 'SNL' was such a unique thing because it was material you created and you're very comfortable with it, even though the setting was pressure-packed.

I guess ultimately a lot of comedians just wanna be taken seriously.

I'm a selective pack rat. There's some things I have no problem getting rid of and others I hold onto dearly.

For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' But unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that.

When you hear that you're going to be working with a first-time director, sometimes that can be a concern to people.

When a dramatic actor does a funny film, people are like, 'Wonderful! I didn't know he was funny!' But when it flips, people can get really thrown by it.

I might be more fluent in Swedish than I am in Spanish. My wife speaks it to our kids, and they're fluent so I hear it all the time, so I've got that under my belt.

There's always going to be someone as funny as you or funnier.

I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the way they feel about their work. And I, for the most part, am pretty happy person. But, yeah. I go through definite periods of time where I'm not funny. I'm not good. I'm - I don't feel original.

I live by 'Earnin' and burnin'.' Meaning, I like to make money and spend it before I even have it. That's the way I live my life.

A lot of the times you read something and you don't realize that you are going to have to do the things that you read.

Anyone can memorize facts and figures. The real way to learn anything is to go out and experience it. Let your curiosity lead you.

Anyone who does anything creative is always gonna want to change.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.

Black, white, yellow, brown - we wanted somebody who would do right by us. And I think because Obama was that person, whether he was black or white, he was chosen

But for fatherhood advice, try to look your child in the eye.... Get to know their name; that becomes important when you want something. And remember to feed them. That's about all you need.

'Elf' has become this big holiday movie, and I remember running around the streets of New York in tights saying, 'This could be the last movie I ever make,' and I could never have predicted that it'd become such a popular film.

Every time I do a partnership with the corporation, it's usually - I mean, it is - reflective of me and they really want who I am. They want what I've established for my brand and the respect and quality that I've established.

Everyone I know who skis is dead.

Facebook is like jail, you sit around and waste time, you write on walls and you get poked by people you don't know

Facebook: What's on your mind? ..Twitter: What's happening? Myspace: Where did everybody go?

Grief is nature's most powerful aphrodisiac.

I built a jail in my closet and I would incarcerate my family from time to time.

I don't even consider myself an impressionist, really

I don't really think in absolutes.

I guess destiny is not the path given to us but the path we choose for ourselves.

I had never supported a political figure - and I went out and supported Obama.

I just kind of have a comedic looking body, I guess. If anything I really have to exercise just to not look too fudgy, otherwise I would just keep going and going.

I laugh like a fool when I watch a movie that I've done several years down the road when it's on cable, i'll just watch and sadly laugh along.

I like challenging myself. I like the challenge of rapping to fast beats, rapping to beats that are super slow, whatever. I like the challenges, so I'm not afraid to take on any piece of music and create a song to it if it feels right to me.

I look good. I mean, really good. Hey everyone! Come and see how good I look!

I love watching people be totally committed in a very real way to stupid situations. I find it's not so much trying to be funny, it's trying to be real in a messed up context. That's comedy to me.

I never put too much pressure on myself when I'm the central thing, just because I don't think I could handle it mentally. I haven't really thought about the implications of carrying a movie. It still has to be just a fun, weird thing.

I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make gold records.

I still regret that I never played soccer in high school. I chose basketball over soccer.

I think it just came with me evolving as a person and me understanding that it's not right to judge or to say anything derogatory about other people, especially if I don't know them.