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If a guy is over 25 percent jerk, he's in trouble. And Henry was 95 percent. -- Lee Iacocca
For every 10 good things, there's always some jerk that wants to say something bad. -- Devon Sawa
If everyone really knew what a jerk I am in real life, I wouldn't be so adored in the slightest. -- Christian Bale
If a jerk burns the flag, America is not threatened, democracy is not under siege, freedom is not at risk. -- Gary Ackerman
I want to be a jerk like the rest of my friends, and have fun, and not care about the consequences, but I just can't now. -- Leonardo DiCaprio
I'm just starting to scratch the surface of what really makes me happy and it's taken me a while to admit that acting like a little child and being a jerk and a punk is fun. -- Leonardo DiCaprio
Music is for people. The word 'pop' is simply short for popular. It means that people like it. I'm just a normal jerk who happens to make music. As long as my brain and fingers work, I'm cool. -- Eddie Van Halen
Knee-Jerk Irony: The tendency to make flippant ironic comments as a reflexive matter of course in everyday conversation. -- Douglas Coupland
Jerk equals narcissist.Narcissists tend to be risk takers. Risk takers happen to do better in general in businesses. So jerk equals narcissist, equals risk taker. -- Eric Bolling
My dad was a great movie companion. He wouldn't diminish 'The Jerk.' If I liked it, he liked it. He could see it through my eyes. -- Noah Baumbach
Never burn bridges. Today's junior jerk, tomorrow's senior partner. -- Sigourney Weaver
I became a bit of a jerk. A kind of a nasty jerk. -- Kevin Spacey
In a democracy everybody has a right to be represented, including the jerks. -- Chris Patten
Age seldom arrives smoothly or quickly. It's more often a succession of jerks. -- Jean Rhys
On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are created jerks. -- H. Allen Smith
Any jerk can have short-term earnings. You squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, and the company sinks five years later. -- Jack Welch
I know what it's like to meet someone you admire and have them be a complete jerk. -- Nicolas Cage
I could be a jerk and get a lot more publicity, but that's not who I am. -- Pete Sampras
I try not to be a jerk. I really do. I try to be nice and cordial. -- Mariah Carey
Even the jerks earn some of our affection. We can be glad they're gone and yet still mourn the good parts. -- Shannon Hale
I felt there's a wealth in Jewish tradition, a great inheritance. I'd be a jerk not to take advantage of it. -- Herman Wouk
Maybe I am a jerk sometimes. Maybe I'm not. I think most people are kind of a jerk once in a while. -- Ryan Adams
I'm human and I've played my butt off for ten years. I'm not a loafer, I'm not a jerk, I'm a baseball player. -- Reggie Jackson
If I'd had a great level of success early on, who knows how I would have responded. I might have been a complete jerk. -- Steve Carell
Don't be a jerk. Try to love everyone. Give more than you take. And do it despite the fact that you only really like about seven out of 500 people. -- Judd Apatow
As much as I like to be thoughtful and think things through in my decision making - I don't like knee jerk decisions - but I'm not afraid to make decisions. -- Ron Jaworski
Of the billionaires I have known, money just brings out the basic traits in them. If they were jerks before they had money, they are simply jerks with a billion dollars. -- Warren Buffett
You make a lot of films, do you? You make a lot of films yourself? Yeah, I'd like to see you make a film first before you get to talk about it. What a jerk. -- George Clooney
A person with grace is somebody who's socially graceful or is a classy person, but sometimes you just feel the opposite of that, and you just feel like a jerk and a loser and a weirdo. -- Matt Berninger
Most of my stuff before CSI was kind of the jerk boyfriend, so I thought this was one of those deals, where these two have a thing going on, so we had a scene where they make out. -- George Eads
We overweight people, we say terrible things to ourselves. Oh, you wouldn't believe it. 'You fat pig. How can you do this? You're a disgusting jerk.' And that gets you nowhere. That gets you right back into a bowl of pasta fregula. -- Richard Simmons
I've actually apologized to some people I was a real jerk to, because I feel ashamed. I didn't need to be that hungry. There was something going on inside me when I was angry and feeling very threatened and not feeling good about myself. -- Howard Stern
In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance... Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself. -- Marjane Satrapi
There are a lot of things about having money that are perceived to be cool but that aren't. Maybe if you're a CEO jerk who likes going coast to coast by himself in a G4, then that's fine. But that's not me. And it never will be. -- Nolan Bushnell
And sometimes it's the very otherness of a stranger, someone who doesn't belong to our ethnic or ideological or religious group, an otherness that can repel us initially, but which can jerk us out of our habitual selfishness, and give us intonations of that sacred otherness, which is God. -- Karen Armstrong
I think that everybody in the world, whatever colour or creed, has a jerk like JR in his or her family somewhere. Whether it is a father, uncle, cousin or brother, everybody can identify with JR and that certainly had something to do with the success of 'Dallas.' -- Larry Hagman
I know that I'm definitely not a big big snob, and I know that at the times that I am a diva I know I'm being a diva. It's kind of annoying to know that you are. Because it's a person I do not want to be. So I'm trying my best not to become a jerk. -- Jackie Evancho
As far as criticism, I don't mind critics. I mean, I wrote for 'Rolling Stone' for a hot minute. I like criticism. I enjoy criticism. The thing I don't like is cruelty for cruelty's sake. You don't have to be a jerk to say something negative. You can say something in the negative sense and have class. -- Patrick Stump
A person of good intelligence and of sensitivity cannot exist in this society very long without having some anger about the inequality - and it's not just a bleeding-heart, knee-jerk, liberal kind of a thing - it is just a normal human reaction to a nonsensical set of values where we have cinnamon flavored dental floss and there are people sleeping in the street. -- George Carlin
The way Disney characters move, they're very kind of slow and fluid and flowing; one pose kind of eases into the next. If you look at a show like 'The Simpsons' and subsequently a show like 'Family Guy' - the characters will jerk from pose to pose a lot, a bit more snappy. Which sort of goes along with the writing tone of the show. -- Seth MacFarlane
One farmer says to me, "You cannot live on vegetable food solely, for it furnishes nothing to make the bones with;" and so he religiously devotes a part of his day to supplying himself with the raw material of bones; walking all the while he talks behind his oxen, which, with vegetable-made bones, jerk him and his lumbering plow along in spite of every obstacle. -- Henry David Thoreau
Movies always are open to being remade because times change so much, and the tempo of movies changes. I think of it like a James Bond. They can have different actors play the same role... I've had people come up to me and say, 'We want to remake 'The Jerk' with so and so.' And I say, 'Fine.' It just doesn't bother me. It's an honor actually. -- Steve Martin
Hemingway was a jerk. -- Harold Robbins
Hemmingway was a jerk. -- Harold Robbins
Elections are a Western jerk-off. -- John le Carre
I act like a jerk sometimes. -- Bill Murray
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I don't want to be known as a jerk forever. -- Sean William Scott
You're a jerk,' repeated the alien, 'a complete asshole. -- Douglas Adams
When you're in bad mood, you find jerk on anywhere. -- Toba Beta
What a snarky jerk. (Obviously, I later slept with him.) -- Lena Dunham
What's the difference between tough love and acting like a jerk? -- Ricki Lake
There's a difference between playing it cool and being a jerk. -- Auliq Ice
I've been a jerk on the internet since the internet started. -- Martin Shkreli
When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me. -- Andrew Dice Clay
Donald Trump is not a jerk. He's a friend of ours. -- Kellyanne Conway
I'm a jerk, that's who I am. I'm like everybody else. -- Larry David
Better to be a jerk that knees than a knee that jerks. -- William Safire
I could be a real jerk on the days I was pitching. -- Bob Gibson
You can't be a jerk in order to be a good writer. -- Ann Patchett
Writing, for me, is very inspiration-dependent. And inspiration can be a jerk. -- Gene Luen Yang
On November 7, 2006, Cafferty called Donald Rumsfeld "an obnoxious jerk and war criminal". -- Jack Cafferty
I might be a dork, but I don't want to be a jerk. -- Tom DeLonge
The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee- pad conservative.... -- Edward Abbey
I'm not afraid to be a jerk or anything and laugh at myself anymore. -- Mike Tyson
I pride myself on being a jerk, because I'm brutally honest all the time. -- CM Punk
There's something about a guy who admits he's a jerk that makes him forgiveable. -- Lisa McMann
There are jerks all over Washington. Life is short; being a jerk is just unnecessary. -- Mona Sutphen
Diplomacy is unfashionable in the world of knee-jerk reaction and the dogmatic sound bite on television. -- Douglas Hurd
These days he was like a zombie, all grim business, just another jerk with an erection. -- Tom Perrotta
It's tough being an actor making music, because even I have a knee-jerk reaction to that. -- John Hawkes
As soon as you start preaching, nobody wants to hear you because then you're a jerk. -- Neil Young
I hope I'm an integrous person who cleans up their messes when I've been a jerk. -- Bonnie Raitt
Every day when I get home from work, I feel so frustrated, my boss is a jerk. -- Todd Rundgren
When you've been hurt, you don't make excuses for the jerk who hurt you. That's his mama's job. -- Catherine Anderson
Counterpart to the knee-jerk liberal is the new knee-pad conservative, always groveling before the rich and the powerful. -- Edward Abbey
Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk [...] -- Terry Pratchett
I jerk off inside books, and give life to words, leaving concepts stuck together you've probably never heard -- Immortal Technique
I think you need a concrete, real-world metaphor to talk about inner life without feeling like a jerk. -- Tift Merritt
It's disappointing when you finally get to meet someone you admire and he conducts himself as a jerk. -- David Letterman
They say love thy neighbor as thy self , what am I supposed to do jerk him off too? -- Rodney Dangerfield
When I look back on my knee-jerk reactions now, I realize I should have just taken a breath. -- Fred Durst
I'm not sure I'm okay with 2 guys gettin' married, but I don't wanna be a jerk about it. -- Lizz Winstead
I was 23 with a mullet doing lots of jerk-off material.I can't look at the old tapes now. -- Doug Stanhope
Be a kind person. Yes, even to jerks. Let them be a jerk. You be a kind person. -- Karen Salmansohn
A jerk on a motorcycle is equal to a leaf, because I find it beautiful when these things fall. -- Demetri Martin
The Worst part of acting like a jerk isn't when you're doing it. Its when you realize you were. -- Pete Wentz
Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it. -- Chuck Palahniuk
The British press can be so annoying. They jerk you off with one hand and smack you with the other. -- Julian Casablancas
... was after all a rather mature blossom, such as could be plucked from the stem only by a rigorous jerk." -- Henry James
Is it okay to go the roof of the tallest building in your town and jerk off into the street? -- Eugene Mirman
I will never grow thick skin, so that you don't have to feel bad about being a jerk to me. -- Daniel Pearce
Good night, Gabriel.' [Kaitlyn] saidYou jerk[Gabriel] widened his eyes. 'Don't you want to stay? It's a big bed." -- L. J. Smith
Knee-jerk liberals and all the certified saints of sanctified humanism are quick to condemn this great and much-maligned Transylvanian statesman. -- William F. Buckley, Jr.
Politics means facing up to hard choices and facing down prejudice, short-termism, the easy, tempting court of knee-jerk public reaction. -- Charles Kennedy
Love is bullshit. Emotion is bullshit. I am a rock. A jerk. I'm an uncaring asshole and proud of it -- Chuck Palahniuk
What is known can't jerk us around unwittingly. Before anything can be resolved, the implicit must be made into the explicit. -- Ryan Holiday
In minority communities there's a sensitivity, often a knee-jerk reaction, to critical representations. There's a misunderstanding of what an artist does. -- Junot Diaz
Why are we importing all these highbrow plays like `Amadeus'? I could have told you Mozart was a jerk for nothing. -- Ian Shoales
All magic is 'Here's a quarter, now it's gone. You're a jerk. Now it's back. You're an idiot. Show's over.' -- Jerry Seinfeld
All broken hearts are circumstantial. Every lovelorn jerk is the victim of bad timing, good intentions, and someone else's poor decision making. -- Joshua Ferris
I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated. -- Rush Limbaugh
I've made it a point here that I'm not going to knee-jerk react to anything, and especially before [Donald] Trump is inaugurated. -- Rush Limbaugh
Maybe one of the qualities of being a great coach is being [a jerk]. There are quite a few of them around. -- Larry Robinson
It never made sense to me that someone would achieve any kind of success in show business, only to become a jerk. -- Josh Radnor
Some jerk infected the Internet with an outright lie. It shows how easy it is to do and how credulous people are. -- Kurt Vonnegut
The palm of his hand was a dull red. Not a good sign.I jerk off left-handed, he thought, at least that's something." -- Stephen King
That's what's so great about the Internet. It allows pompous blow-hards to connect with other pompous blow-hards in a vast circle-jerk of pomposity. -- Bill Maher
I'm not a knee-jerk conservative. I passionately believe in free markets and less government, but not to the point of being a libertarian. -- Rupert Murdoch
My knee-jerk is that it is comedy and, if you watch them all back-to-back, you will gain something and you will lose something. -- Mitchell Hurwitz
There are 5,000 great people for every jerk on Usenet. But that still is a lot of jerks. Proceed with caution and eyes wide open. -- Don Rittner
Try not to be four years into a relationship when it suddenly dawns on you that the guy you're with is a big, selfish jerk. -- Greg Behrendt
As I've gotten older, I've realized that things are a lot more permeable. It's not so black and white: not every journalist is a jerk. -- Kathleen Hanna
Be respectful to your peers and yourself, of course. Don't be a jerk. But at the same time don't settle for anything less than yourself. -- Christina Grimmie
There's nothing more distasteful than an academic having to, like, trot out his credentials. You really come off as a jerk when you do that. -- Reza Aslan
I just think I have always had a good attitude about everything and never got ahead of myself. No one wants to work with a jerk. -- Amy Weber
I fall in love with characters when they're out of their element or are uncomfortable and you really feel for them in a knee-jerk sympathetic way. -- Anna Kendrick
I must of woke up this morning with a bug up my ass, I think I'll just haul off and belt the next jerk that I pass. -- Todd Rundgren
If I'm going to follow a god, why would I want to follow a god of my creation? That would be an alcoholic idiot nitwit jerk god! -- Willie Aames
People think: 'If this photographer's looking like a big jerk-off, maybe it's okay if I do.' I like to catch my subjects off balance a bit. -- Mick Rock

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