Merry Men Quotes in Shrek (2001)

Merry Men: [singing] Ta da, da da da da - whoo!

Monsieur Hood: I steal from the rich and give to the needy...

Merry Man: He takes a wee percentage...

Monsieur Hood: But I'm not greedy - I rescue pretty damsels, man I'm good!

Merry Men: What a guy, ha ha, Monsieur Hood!

Monsieur Hood: Break it down...

[Merry Men Irish step dance]

Monsieur Hood: I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid...

Merry Men: What he's basically saying is he likes to get...

Monsieur Hood: Paid!

Monsieur Hood: So, when an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tush, that's bad.

Merry Man: [joining in] That's bad, that's bad, that's bad!

Monsieur Hood: When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully mad!

Merry Men: He's mad, he's really, really mad!

Monsieur Hood: Now I'll take my blade and ram it through your heart Keep your eyes on me, boys, 'Cause I'm about to start...

[Fiona swoops in and kicks him - the music stops]

Princess Fiona: Man, that was annoying!

Merry Men: [singing] We're men / We're men in tights / We roam around the forest looking for fights / We're men / We're men in tights / We rob from the rich and give to the poor / That's right! / We may look like sissies / But watch what you say / Or else we'll put out your lights / We're men / We're men in tights / Always on guard / Defending the people's rights / We're men / Manly men! / We're men in tights / Yes! / We roam around the forest looking for fights / We're men / We're men in tights / We rob from the rich and give to the poor / That's right! / We may look like pansies / But don't get us wrong / Or else we'll put out your lights / We're men / We're men in tights / *Tight tights* / Always on guard / Defending the people's rights / When you're in a fix / Just call for the men in tights / We're butch!

Rabbi Tuckman: I am Rabbi Tuckman, purveyor of sacramental wine and moyel extraordinaire.

Merry Men: 'ello Rabbi!

Rabbi Tuckman: Hello boys!

Robin Hood: A moyel... I don't believe I've ever heard of that profession.

Rabbi Tuckman: A moyel is a very important guy. He makes circumcisions.

Scarlet: What, pray tell, sir, is a circumcision?

Rabbi Tuckman: It's the latest craze. The ladies love it!

Little John: I'll take one!

Ahchoo: Hey, put me down for two!

Robin Hood: I'm game. How's it done?

Rabbi Tuckman: It's a snap.

[demonstrates with a carrot and a miniature guillotine]

Rabbi Tuckman: I take my machine here, I take your little thing, I put it through this hole, and then...

[releases the blade, cutting the end off the carrot]

Rabbi Tuckman: I nip the tip! Whose first?

Merry Men: [groan]

Little John: I changed me mind!

Ahchoo: I forgot, I already got one.

Blinkin: [puts his hand in the air] Question...

[Ahchoo pulls his arm down silencing him]

Rabbi Tuckman: I gotta start working with a younger crowd.

Robin Hood: Rabbi, you seem to be on the side of good. Will you come and share with us some of your wisdom, some of your council, and perhaps... some of your wine?

[Merry Men snicker]

Rabbi Tuckman: Wisdom and council, that's easy. But this is sacrimental wine! It's only used to bless things.

Merry Men: Awwwww...

Rabbi Tuckman: [pauses] Wait a minute! There's things here! There's rocks, there's trees, there's birds, there's squirrels. Come on, we'll bless them all until we get vashnigyered

[drunk]

Rabbi Tuckman: Join me!

Robin Hood: Let's hear it for the Rabbi!

Merry Men: [Cheer]