The Donkey Quotes in Shrek (2001)

[Donkey thinks he's dying]

The Donkey: Hey, where're you going? Oh man, I can't feel my toes!

[Looks down and yelps]

The Donkey: I don't have any toes!

[sits down]

The Donkey: I think I need a hug.

Princess Fiona: [after Shrek and Donkey rescue her] The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.

Shrek: Uh, no...

Princess Fiona: Why not?

Shrek: I... have helmet hair.

Princess Fiona: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.

Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn't... tst.

Princess Fiona: But... how will you kiss me?

Shrek: [bangs his head] What? That wasn't in the job description!

The Donkey: Maybe it's a perk!

Princess Fiona: No, it's destiny! You must know how it goes! The Knight rescues the Princess, and then they share true love's first kiss...

The Donkey: With Shrek? Whoa, whoa, whoa... you think, you think that Shrek is your true love?

Princess Fiona: Well, yes!

[Shrek and Donkey look at each other and burst into laughter]

Princess Fiona: What is so funny?

Shrek: Let's just say, I'm not your type, all right?

[Donkey and Shrek are looking at constellations in the night sky]

The Donkey: So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?

Shrek: Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.

The Donkey: Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one there?

Shrek: That's the moon.

The Donkey: Oh, okay.

[Shrek burps in front of Donkey and Fiona]

The Donkey: Shrek!

Shrek: What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say.

The Donkey: But that's no way to behave in front of a princess.

[Fiona burps louder]

Princess Fiona: Thanks.

The Donkey: [to Shrek] She's as nasty as you are.

The Donkey: All right, I hope you heard that? She called me a "noble steed." She thinks I'm a steed.

The Donkey: Wait a minute, I know what's going on. You're afraid of the dark.

Princess Fiona: Why... yes!

The Donkey: Don't worry, princess. I used to be afraid of the dark until... No, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.

The Donkey: [waking up] Uh... What'd I miss? What'd I miss?

[suddenly notices the guards walking by]

The Donkey: [trying to throw his voice] Who said that? Couldn't have been the donkey.

The Donkey: [singing] Hee-haw hee-haw haw, I'm the donkey Petrika! Hee-haw hee-haw haw, I'm rather a good kicka'!