Captain of Guards Quotes in Shrek (2001)
Captain of Guards Quotes:
Captain of Guards: [as Donkey flies through the air on pixie dust] He can talk!
Donkey: That's right, fool! Now I'm a flying talking donkey! You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly, but I bet you ain't never seen a donkeyfly! Ha, ha!
[pixie dust wears off]
Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!
Captain of Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.
Captain of Guards: [to Shrek, after finding him and Donkey in the woods] You there! Ogre!
Captain of Guards: [to both Shrek and Donkey] By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am authorized to place you both under arrest and transport you to a designated resettlement - facility.
Shrek: Oh, really? You and what army?
[the Captain looks behind him and notices that his soldiers have run away, leaving their spears behind. He does the same]
[a squad of archers aim at Shrek]
Captain of Guards: Shall I give the order, my Lord?
Lord Farquaad: No. I have a better idea...
Captain of Guards: [snaps a witch's broomstick in half] Your flying days are over!
Captain of Guards: What have you got?
Old Woman: Well, I have a talking donkey.
Captain of Guards: Really? Well, that's good for ten shillings... if you can prove it.
Old Woman: Go ahead, little fella.
[Donkey says nothing]
Captain of Guards: Well?
Old Woman: He's just a little nervous. He's really quite the chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt...
Captain of Guards: That's it, I've heard enough. Guards?
Old Woman: No, no! He talks. He does...
[moves Donkey's mouth while trying to throw her voice]
Old Woman: I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest damn thing you ever saw.
Captain of Guards: Get her out of my sight!
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