Magic Mirror Quotes in Shrek (2001)

Magic Mirror: [telling Lord Farquaad about his bachelorettes] So, just sit back and relax, my Lord, because I'm about to give you today's three eligible bachelorettes.

[the mirror shows images of Cinderella]

Magic Mirror: Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Let's hear it for Cinderella!

[changes to images of Snow White]

Magic Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Give it up for Snow White!

[changes to Princess Fiona]

Magic Mirror: And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing: Princess Fiona! So, who will it be? Bachelorette #1? Bechelorette #2? Or Bachelorette #3?

[Farquaad's advisors start calling out their choices, with Thelonious saying "#3"]

Lord Farquaad: Uhhh, Number 3!

Magic Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you have chosen... Princess Fiona.

Lord Farquaad: Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.

Lord Farquaad: Ah, Thelonius?

[Thelonius the Executioner smashes a small looking glass]

Lord Farquaad: You were saying?

Magic Mirror: [nervous] Er, I mean you're not a king YET! But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess...

Lord Farquaad: Go on...

[first lines]

Queen: Slave in the magic mirror, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.

Magic Mirror: What wouldst thou know, my Queen?

Queen: Magic mirror on the wall, who is the fairest one of all?

Magic Mirror: Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely maid I see. Rags cannot hide her gentle grace. Alas, she is more fair than thee.

Queen: Alas for her! Reveal her name.

Magic Mirror: Lips red as the rose. Hair black as ebony. Skin white as snow.

Queen: Snow White!

Queen: Magic Mirror, on the wall, who, now, is the fairest one of all?

Magic Mirror: Over the seven jewelled hills, beyond the seventh fall, in the cottage of the Seven Dwarfs, dwells Snow White, fairest of them all.

Queen: Snow White lies dead in the forest. The huntsman has brought me proof. Behold, her heart.

Magic Mirror: Snow White still lives, fairest in the land. 'Tis the heart of a pig you hold in your hand.

Queen: The heart of a pig! Then I've been tricked!