Last Night quotes:

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I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. -- Rodney Dangerfield
I stayed in a really old hotel last night. They sent me a wake-up letter. -- Steven Wright
Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show. -- Mitch Hedberg
I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark. -- Muhammad Ali
The original 'About Last Night' was phenomenal. -- Kevin Hart
David Mamet, Tim Kazurinsky, and Denise DeClue, who adapted [ About Last Night]. Between the three of them... I mean, it's always down to the writing. You're only as good as your writing. -- Rob Lowe
About Last Night... [movie] still stands up for me. Like, I'm as proud of that today and still have the kind of faith in it today to show it to a young couple as I did when it came out. -- Rob Lowe
What if this present were the world's last night? -- John Donne
Yesterday ended last night. Today is a brand-new day. -- Zig Ziglar
The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night. Brahms lost. -- Bennett Cerf
Failing is an event, not a person. Yesterday ended last night. -- Zig Ziglar
The average millionaire can't tell you who got thrown off the island last night. -- Dave Ramsey
Last night my teacher taught me the lesson of Poverty: Having nothing and wanting nothing. -- Rumi
I read the book of Job last night, I don't think God comes out well in it. -- Virginia Woolf
My luck is getting worse and worse. Last night, for instance, I was mugged by a quaker. -- Woody Allen
It's nice to know you have support. Last night I got a marriage proposal. I just laughed. -- Carrie Underwood
I have to tell them that last night was a shameful train wreck filled with blind cuddly puppies. -- Charlie Sheen
Yesterday ended last night. Every day is a new beginning. Learn the skill of forgetting. And move on. -- Norman Vincent Peale
Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow was gone. -- Tommy Cooper
I can't take days off and play like I did last night. Maybe some people can, but I can't. -- Jimmy Chamberlin
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wright
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific. -- Mitch Hedberg
I fear the man who drinks water and so remembers this morning what the rest of us said last night -- Benjamin Franklin
Last night I learned how to be a lover of God. To live in this world and call nothing my own. -- Rumi
We had high and boisterous winds last night and this morning: the Indians continue to purchase repairs with grain of different kinds. -- Meriwether Lewis
You have to be able to appreciate these things. How many people can say it was a full moon last night and appreciate it? -- Sandy Miller
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, "Do I know you? -- Steven Wright
We made them drink poison last night and Saddam Hussein's soldiers and his great forces gave the Americans a lesson which will not be forgotten by history. Truly. -- Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode? -- David Letterman
Be careful with drinking this Christmas. I got so drunk last night I found myself dancing in a cheesy bar... Or, as you like to call it, delicatessen. -- Sean Hughes
Great numbers of the Indians pass our camp on their hunting excursions: the day was clear and pleasant, but last night was very cold and there was a white frost. -- Meriwether Lewis
One of President Obama's winning points last night was about how sanctions against Iran are crippling their economy. And believe me, if anyone knows how to cripple an economy, it's President Obama. -- Jay Leno
A clear cold morning with high wind: we caught in a trap a large gray wolf, and last night obtained in the same way a fox who had for some time infested the neighbourhood of the fort. -- Meriwether Lewis
I had a good-talking candle last night in my bedroom. I was very tired but I wanted somebody to be with me, so I lit a candle and listened to its comfortable voice of light until I was asleep. -- Richard Brautigan
Last night you said you wanted to know what to expect so you could better select your attire. I told you we were going to visit a vampire in a Goth-den tonight. Why, then, Ms. Lane, do you look like a perky rainbow? -- Karen Marie Moning
The relationship between 'My Chemical Romance' and Michael Pedicone is over. He was caught red-handed stealing from the band and confessed to police after our show last night in Auburn, Washington. We are heartbroken and sick to our stomachs over this entire situation. -- Frank Iero
For me, it's always a little sad getting out of bed. Every morning after I get up, I always gaze longingly at my bed and lament, 'You were wonderful last night. I didn't want it to end. I can't wait to see you again. -- Jim Gaffigan
We have thousands of opportunities every day to be grateful: for having good weather, to have slept well last night, to be able to get up, to be healthy, to have enough to eat. ... There's opportunity upon opportunity to be grateful; that's what life is. -- David Steindl-Rast
It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing. -- Stockard Channing
There's a very real possibility in this industry of going out and leading your life and then going home and being a voyeur of your own life. You can literally go watch yourself - where you went last night, what you did, what the things that people presuppose about you. It's kind of crazy. -- Ryan Reynolds
For everything I do, I think about a 6-year-old girl and her mom that I saw at my concert last night. I think about what those two individuals would think if I were at a club last night. I never want to be arrested, and I never want to get a DUI, those are my moral values. -- Taylor Swift
Perhaps you went to bed last night thinking about the overdue bills, the lack of finances, the problematic people and situations you have to face. This morning you woke up. Did you give thanks? If you didn't, it is probably because you forgot that when praise goes up, the blessings come down. That should be enough to inspire you to be thankful. -- Iyanla Vanzant
I've done a great job at being universal in my stand-up, which is why, for 'Let Me Explain,' I toured all over the world. These movies I have coming out - 'Ride Along,' 'Grudge Match,' 'About Last Night,' 'Think Like a Man Too' - are putting me in a position to become universal on an even bigger scale. -- Kevin Hart
This is what life does. It lets you walk up to the store to buy breakfast and the paper, on a stiff knee. It lets you choose the way you have your eggs, your coffee. Then it sits a fisherman down beside you at the counter who says, Last night, the channel was full of starfish. And you wonder, is this a message, finally, or just another day? -- Eleanor Lerman
I actually go to the gym much more now than I did when I was on Buffy. I like to stay fit, because that's when I feel really healthy. But I never worked out for any kind of image. People have said to me, 'Do you starve yourself before photo shoots?' And I always say, 'No way.! That's what airbrushing is for. I had french fries last night.' -- Sarah Michelle Gellar
I will make up a crush, you hear me?! I will look at a guy and say, for two months at least, 'I think you're cute.' And then I can be psycho. I will go in my head and make a whole life with him, he don't even understand why I'm mad at him. I'm like... 'cause you came in late last night!' And he's like, 'I don't even know you.' -- Ester Dean
Someone spoke to me last night, -- Dorianne Laux
Everything was on television last night -- Don DeLillo
Last night I had a peace dream... -- Ringo Starr
France lost a great novel last night. -- Victor Hugo
I died last night. Seventy years too young. -- Colin Thompson
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I took the wife out last night; one punch! -- Jim Davidson
I was born at night, but not last night. -- Mills Lane
Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again. -- Daphne du Maurier
The Brooklyn Dodgers had a no hitter last night. -- Bob Dole
I was hanging out with Jonathan Richman last night. -- Evan Dando
Got tight on absinthe last night. Did knife tricks. -- Ernest Hemingway
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Don't worry about yesterday it ended last night at midnight. -- John C. Maxwell
Last night I lost the world, and gained the universe. -- C. JoyBell C.
Last night we were the best team on the day. -- Roy Aitken
A vibrator can last all night, too, vampire! - Denise -- Jeaniene Frost
Last night I neglected to mention something that bears repeating. -- Ron Fairly
The last night of love, the first night of war -- Camil Petrescu
We fell in love last night. He's the coolest guy. -- James Franco
I'm afraid I did not pray hard enough last night. -- Etty Hillesum
I'm an ice sculptor. Last night I made a cube. -- Mitch Hedberg
What were you two doing last night, discussing the national debt? -- Stephenie Meyer
Last night I let the party get the best of me. -- Wiz Khalifa
Night never had the last word. The dawn is always invincible. -- Hugh B. Brown
I'm thinking that I shouldn't have filed my nails last night. -- Dara Torres
I slept hard last night. I had an eight-hour raging erection. -- Jarod Kintz
I heard an angel speak last night/And he said, "Write!" -- Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I went out last night and all the girls ignored me -- Leonardo DiCaprio
Did I do anything last night that suggested I was sane? -- Terry Pratchett
Last night at Carnegie Hall, Jack Benny played Mendelssohn. Mendelssohn lost. -- Harold C. Schonberg
I had a dream about you last night... you were there. -- Nicole McKay
Your shower is ready - I turned it on last night. -- Scott Adams
As night falls silently all around,She carefully turns the last page. -- Rachel Lewis
Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London, again. -- Warren Zevon
Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician. -- Matthew Prior
When telling a story about how wasted you were last night, stop. -- Demetri Martin
Day! Faster and more fast. O'er night's brim, day boils at last. -- Robert Browning
Im not gay, but the man in my bed last night was. -- Tom DeLonge
The sense of a long last night over civilization is back again. -- Norman Mailer
Nowadays people think that history is what was on TV last night. -- Michael Dibdin
I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear. -- Michael Summers
I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME! -- Jerry Seinfeld
After last night's debate, the reputation of Messieurs Lincoln and Douglas is secure -- Edward R. Murrow
Woke up last night half past four, fifty women knocking on my door. -- Carl Perkins
I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor. -- Dean Martin
The long night of human history is drawing at last to its conclusion. -- Terence McKenna
There were two second division matches last night, both in the second division. -- Dominic Allen
I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream. -- Amy Summers
What's down below is in the past Like last night's crickets, far below. -- Wallace Stevens
Before the first before and after the last after, there is night waiting. -- Dejan Stojanovic
I love that this morning's sunrise does not define itself by last night's sunset. -- Steve Maraboli
Last night's homer was Stargell's 399th career home run, leaving him one shy of 500. -- Jerry Coleman
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All the while, believe me, I prayed our night would last twice as long. -- Sappho
No Roman ever was able to say, 'I dined last night with the Borgias'. -- Max Beerbohm
Last night I woke up with someone squeezing my hand. It was my other hand. -- William S. Burroughs
Camping in the backyard last night for Father's Day! Wrestling, stories, s'mores...it was awesome! -- Drew Brees
Last night, it was so cold, the flashers in New York were only describing themselves. -- Johnny Carson
My behavior last night was poor.Poor? Agatha coughed. You pushed me through a window! -- Soman Chainani
Last night the secrets of the universe were revealed to me, and they had nipples. -- Jarod Kintz
Last night I went out for Chinese. I picked up a Team USA Olympic uniform. -- Jay Leno
Some praise at morning what they blame at night, but always think the last opinion right. -- Alexander Pope
People don't buy a new detergent because the manufacturer told a joke on television last night. -- David Ogilvy
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm; just another false alarm -- Steven Morrissey
Treat it like your last night. Even if you broke, spend tonight like your cash right. -- Mac Miller
Last night I dreamt that somebody loved me. No hope, no harm; just another false alarm -- Steven Morrissey
Jesus Christ came into my prison cell last night, and every stone flashed like a ruby. -- Samuel Rutherford
I met my old lover on the street last night, she seemed glad to see me. -- Paul Simon
I had a dream about you last night... shortly after I woke up screaming in terror. -- Amy Summers
After watching Watford against Manchester City last night that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful. -- Eamon
Last night I danced with a stranger, but she just reminded me you were the one. -- Bob Dylan
Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts. -- Steven Wright
Well, I thought, last night I paid my dues. I faced death. Now I can stay. -- Mark Vonnegut

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