The Woodsman Quotes in Hoodwinked! (2005)

Nicky Flippers: It would seem that all of you came together tonight by mistake.

[walks past dog typing notes]

Nicky Flippers: Maybe you naughty neighbors butted heads so we could get to the real truth.

The Wolf: The Goody Bandit

Nicky Flippers: That's right. The Bandit's still at large. There's been a lot of finger pointing tonight, but now all fingers point to the Bandit.

The Woodsman: Not my finger!

[quickly puts index finger in mouth and starts sucking it]

Nicky Flippers: Oh no, you were just out damaging forest property, cutting down the redwoods we all call home.

[the Woodsman starts spluttering]

Nicky Flippers: Big guy like you, you could probably take whatever you want from little goody-loving creatures, couldn't you?

The Woodsman: But someone robbed me! Have we lost track of that?

Nicky Flippers: Thats right, someone did. Maybe a snack food competitor. Right Granny?

Granny: Now hold on a pea-picking minute! I may lead a double life full of secrets and deception, but that's no reason to be suspicious.

The Woodsman: Huh?

Nicky Flippers: A woman like you could have a lot to gain stealing all those recipes.

Chief Grizzly: And that's how she makes her goodies so good! Eh?

Nicky Flippers: Or she could just be another victim... of a hungry Wolf

The Wolf: Ah, the wolf did it. Talk about profiling.

Nicky Flippers: Why should we trust someone who wears disguises for a living?

Chief Grizzly: Maybe he's not a wolf at all!

The Wolf: You got me. I'm a poodle. I just haven't been to the barbershop in a long time.

Chief Grizzly: Is this all just a big joke to you?

The Wolf: I just followed the girl here.

Granny: You leave my granddaughter alone!

Nicky Flippers: Yes, now we get to Little Red, the girl with the basket on the run.

[camera points to empty chair]

Nicky Flippers: Where is she anyway?

The Wolf: I can't believe I'm saying this but... drink up.

[gives Twitchy the coffee]

The Wolf: We may want to stand back.

Twitchy: [Sips coffee and his eyes buldge and he starts shaking] Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo! Wahooo! Caffeine! Yeah baby! Whoa!

The Wolf: Go get 'em boy.

[Twitchy takes off and bounces all over the place]

The Wolf: What... have I done?

Granny: Now the rest's up to us.

The Woodsman: Can I have coffee?

The Woodsman: I had always heard about call backs. But, I had never gotten one!

The Woodsman: What the Schnitzel?

The Woodsman: [disguised as Dolph] Uh, Mister Rabbit...

Boingo: Dolph! Where have you been? You nimwitted Eurotrash with the... what is that, a ski mask?

The Woodsman: Uh, I, um, yah...

Boingo: I like that! See, that's scary. Yeah that's good...

The Woodsman: Um, b-boss...

Boingo: WHAT? Say it! Spit it out! What's goin' on?

The Woodsman: Um... boss, uh,

[singing]

The Woodsman: Paul's bunion cream/has the soothing formula...

The Wolf: [interrupts, also in disguise] Hi there! What he means to say is that I'm the building inspector.

The Woodsman: Yah, yes!

The Wolf: I just need to tap the pipes; see if your wiring's up to par.

Boingo: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold it, you're not... no, you can't touch anything in here.

The Wolf: [pauses] Let's walk.

The Woodsman: [trying out for a commercial] Arrrgh! Paul's Bunion Cream has the soothing formula...

Jimmy Lizard: [interrupts] Whoa, whoa, whoa, no! Hold it, hold it!

[music stops]

Jimmy Lizard: Ho, ho, stop... Look, "Argh"?

The Woodsman: Uh-huh...

Jimmy Lizard: What... what are ya, some kinda German pirate or somethin'?

The Woodsman: I just got the script, like, five minutes ago... I'm trying...

Jimmy Lizard: Okay, sure, sure, um... you're not gettin' it...