Det. Bill Stork Quotes in Hoodwinked! (2005)

Nicky Flippers: [preparing to question Red, whose hands are still in cuffs] What's with the handcuffs on a little girl? Her wrists can slip right out. How about a cage?

Det. Bill Stork: [on radio, eager] Bring in the cage!

Nicky Flippers: I was being sarcastic.

Det. Bill Stork: [resigned, into radio] Sarcasm. Strike the cage...

Chief Grizzly: This looks pretty open and shut. Little miss rosy-capes making covert deliveries to the goodie-tycoon. Wolfie tries to eat 'em both, then crazy flannel-pants with the axe here busts in, swinging vigilante-style. Take 'em downtown boys!

Det. Bill Stork: Ah, it's the woods chief, we don't have a downtown.

Chief Grizzly: You know what I mean! Just book'em!

Chief Grizzly: [referring about the Woodsman] This guy's a loon.

Det. Bill Stork: Watch it, chief. My mama's half-loon.

Det. Bill Stork: What is it boy? Truck! Trouble at the mill! Is the barn on fire? The barn's on fire! The well! Timmy's stuck in the well!

Granny: [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete] Honey, don't look at your granny like that.

Red Puckett: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?

[beat]

Det. Bill Stork: Awkward!

[awkwardly side slips his way out of the room]

Granny: You're being ridiculous, Red.

Red Puckett: *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?

Tommy: I, have a...

Nicky Flippers: Coffee break, anyone?

Chief Grizzly: Uh, yeah.

Det. Bill Stork: Whose got my keys?

Raccoon Jerry: You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?

Chief Grizzly: Excuse us.

[Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room]

Granny: I thought you were happy.

Red Puckett: Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?

Granny: Of course you do. You're a Puckett.

Red Puckett: [sighs] I don't know what that means anymore.

Nicky Flippers: I wanna know more about this fellow with the axe. How does he fit into all this?

Det. Bill Stork: Maybe you should AXE him yourself! Ha ha ha ha haaa ha haaa! You-haha-see haa ha haaa! Axe-haaa ha ha! He he hee...

Chief Grizzly: [Stares blankly at Bill]

Det. Bill Stork: [glumly] I'll bring him in.