Mr. Alonzo Smith Quotes in


Mr. Alonzo Smith Quotes:

  • Rose Smith: Money. I hate, loathe, despise and abominate money.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: You also spend it.

  • Esther Smith: Papa, if losing a case depresses you so, why don't you quit practicing law and go into another line of business?

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: That's a good idea. Starting tomorrow, I intend to play first base for the Baltimore Orioles. I'm sorry, Anna, if I was a little bombastic.

    Mrs. Anna Smith: That's all right, dear, you'll feel better once you've had your dinner.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: I suppose so, but right now I'm going to soak in that cool bathtub for one solid hour.

    Esther Smith: But that's impossible. Dinner's being served in five minutes.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: It's only five twenty-five, not six twenty-five.

    Mrs. Anna Smith: We've planned on eating an hour early tonight.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: Well, the plans have just been changed. I'm taking a bath.

    Mrs. Anna Smith: We're eating early for Katie's sake. Family trouble. She wants to go over there as soon as we've finished eating. Her sister's fighting with her husband.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: I see. And I suppose they'll stop fighting if I don't take a bath?

    Mrs. Anna Smith: Now she's been with us for ten years, and she never asks favors. We don't want to risk losing her.

    Esther Smith: No, nowadays you can't get a maid for less than twelve dollars a month.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: I don't care if we have to pay a maid fifteen dollars a month! Dinner's at six-thirty, and if Katie wants to hand in her notice, she can reach me in the bathtub!

  • Mr. Alonzo Smith: Ah, corn beef and cabbage. Katie, I could smell that cabbage when I got off the trolley.

    Katie the Maid: Cabbage has a cabbage smell.

  • Warren Sheffield: Rose Smith, we can't go on like this any longer. I've positively decided we're going to get married at the earliest opportunity and I don't want to hear any arguments. That's final. I love you. Merry Christmas.

    Rose Smith: Merry Christmas

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: Anna, who is that boy?

    Mrs. Anna Smith: Now Lonny he's a very fine young man. We'll talk about it later.

    Grandpa: That young man is so excited he's liable to leave on his honeymoon without Rose.

  • Rose SmithEsther Smith: [singing] Meet me in St. Louie, Louie, meet me at...

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: For heaven's sake, stop that screeching!

    Rose Smith: We're sorry, Papa.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: The fair won't open for seven months, and that's all anybody ever sings about or talks about. I wish they would all meet at the fair and leave me alone.

  • 'Tootie' Smith: Hello, Papa, I buried Maude Rockefeller today, and you missed all the fun.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: Oh, I wouldn't say that. I've had a pretty full day. Tootie, remind me to spank you right after dinner.

    'Tootie' Smith: Yes, Papa.

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: Lord, we thank thee for the bountiful blessing we are about to receive. Amen.

    'Tootie' Smith: Agnes, if I forget to remind Papa, you remind me.

    Agnes Smith: All right.

  • Mr Alonzo Smith: Anna, I'm curious, just when was I voted out of this family?

  • Mr. Alonzo Smith: Either I've lost some soup, or I've found a spoon.

  • Katie the Maid: Anybody want dessert?

    Mr. Alonzo Smith: Dessert? What happened to dinner?

    Katie the Maid: I didn't think anybody could eat meat on a hot day like this!

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