Kidding quotes:

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Decline III, I funded myself, from the studio money. That, and I sold a lot of drugs. Kidding. Don't print that. -- Penelope Spheeris
Oh it's fantastic because I get to whip people like David into shape and tell them to go get me coffee. Kidding - okay. -- Debra Messing
There," ZoÃ« suggested."By the Embarcadero Building." "Good thinking," Chuck said. "Me and Hank can blend in with the pigeons." We all looked at him. "Kidding," he said. "Sheesh, can't a statues have a sense of humor? -- Rick Riordan
Do you want the truth or the politically correct version? The truth is that I go plastic, it's so much easier. And I like to put the bags over my head at night when I sleep, which I think all the kids at home should try. Kidding!! -- George Clooney
Just kidding, I've been very athletic all my life. -- Kiana Tom
Those who have succeeded at anything and don't mention luck are kidding themselves. -- Larry King
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more. -- James Brown
I would say, 'I'm alone, but I'm not lonely.' But I was just kidding myself. -- Bruce Willis
No kidding. That's really true. You're paying your own bills through this. It's not a pleasant experience. -- Bruce Babbitt
Violence - look, we live in a violent world, man. This country was founded on violence. Who's kidding who? -- Bruce Willis
I keep everything that is most important to me close to me: my family, my bible, my X-Box - just kidding. -- Brian Littrell
I feel less pressure to dress youthfully. I'm 50 and everyone knows I'm 50 - who are you kidding? Jeans are my uniform. I have about 15 pairs. -- Michelle Pfeiffer
Sometimes I am so dry that people don't know I'm kidding and think I'm being serious. I enjoy this because their reactions are often funny. -- Robert Crais
Sometimes if I tell people, 'I'm afraid that I'm really a fraud,' or 'I have a lot of self-doubt,' they go, 'Oh, no, you're kidding.' I go, 'No, I'm really honest.' -- Al Franken
I had no expectations about fatherhood, really, but it's definitely a journey I'm glad to be taking. Number one, it's a great learning experience. When my mother told me it's a 24/7 job, she wasn't kidding. -- Christopher Meloni
Here, I have an opportunity to affect the lives of a lot of young people - and not just on my football team. I'm not kidding myself that that would be true at the professional level. -- Joe Paterno
There were rumors I wasn't going to die. The whole cast was sitting around the table reading the script. I fell on the floor - I'm not kidding. I looked up at Katherine Heigl, and she was crying. -- Jeffrey Dean Morgan
President Obama has decided to have the United Nations review the law of Arizona. You have got to be kidding! We're now going to have countries like Cuba, Libya and Uganda sitting in judgment on Arizona's laws? Enough is enough! -- Russell Pearce
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I've never been bored in my life, man. I've never been bored or lonely. Are you kidding? No way! I'm an orchestrator, a musician, a producer. I love everything. I've studied languages from Farsi to Greek to French, Swedish, Russian... How can you get bored? -- Quincy Jones
I was conveniently bisexual for a long time, and then I went, 'Come on, who am I kidding?' And I have to say, it was the single biggest step I took toward emotional well-being, to stop feeling like I had to hide who I am. -- Alan Ball
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them what's really going on the world. All I'm trying to do is think of stuff that's funny, just like when I'm kidding around with my friends. -- Steven Wright
Sometimes you say things with a smile with the precise intention of making it clear that you are not being serious, and are only kidding. If I salute a friend with a smile and say, 'How are you, you old scoundrel!' clearly I don't really mean he's a scoundrel. -- Umberto Eco
One night I went over to get some dope from some Hollywood tough guy. After I left, my son Scott, who was only fifteen, went over with a baseball bat to kill him. I was laughing out of one eye and crying out of the other. I thought, Who am I kidding? -- James Caan
Any parent who tells their kids that they can't attend a school play or go to a soccer match because they have to work is kidding themselves. It's OK to miss a game or two or a performance here and there, but it's not all right to miss the majority of them. -- Simon Sinek
When people are coming to Krakow and we show them how and where we practice, they are like, 'Seriously? Are you kidding me?' But we're always saying that what matters about the courts - the lines, the nets - are the same. I'm practicing in Poland even when I don't have good facilities. -- Agnieszka Radwanska
People are totally overusing LOL and a wink - and I'm very guilty of using the wink - that's probably my favourite emoticon to use because 'I'm being sarcastic, don't misinterpret; don't misconstrue; I'm just kidding.' Again, for as many benefits as it has, also picking up the phone and having a conversation speaks volumes. -- Carly Pope
When the idea of 'Chopped' surfaced, it was originally meant to be taped at some guy's mansion with him and his crazy Chihuahua. A stuffy fellow in a tuxedo was to host, and the losing chef's dish was then fed to the dog! I am not kidding, I saw it! I think it is genius! Twisted, but genius! -- Ted Allen
The secret to my 5 o'clock shadow is a little device called the George Michael 3000 Custom Beard Trimmer and Personal Massager. Just kidding. I actually shave every morning, and thanks to my vast knowledge of Eastern philosophy and mysticism, I will my facial hair to grow to the exact same length each day. Dave Grohl taught me that one. -- Reid Scott
When I first started going to Portland, people told me about Stumptown. They were like 'Oh, it's the best coffee,' and I thought, 'How good could it really be?' I'm like, 'Sure, great, uh... I'd love to see it.' But then when I went, it truly, I am not kidding, is the best coffee I have ever had. -- Fred Armisen
I'm afraid of the dark. I'm not kidding. -- Tom Sizemore
I was surrounded by jerks. I'm not kidding. -- J. D. Salinger
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They aren't kidding when they say, "Wash Whites separately. -- Wes Smith
I love kidding around and having a good time. -- Sophie Nelisse
The goddam movies. They can ruin you. I'm not kidding -- J. D. Salinger
Tell it to everyone you know, but pretend you're kidding. -- Daniel Handler
Science is a method to keep yourself from kidding yourself. -- Edwin Land
You're only kidding yourself if you put creativity before craft. -- Twyla Tharp
Hey @giseleofficial, I feel ya girl. #kidding #fakebaby #soymilk #shameless -- Emmy Rossum
Adding 'just kidding' doesn't make it okay to insult the Principal. -- Nancy Cartwright
Going to Africa. Hope I don't get AIDS. Just kidding. I'm white! -- Jon Ronson
I'd be kidding if I said that I predicted the financial collapse. -- Fareed Zakaria
Just kidding' was exactly what people wrote when they meant every word. -- David Nicholls
I'm not really deaf; I just faked it to win the Oscar KIDDING. -- Marlee Matlin
Are you kidding? I jumped off a building -- of course I'm hurt. -- Derek Landy
I'm happy to be here. I'm happy to be anywhere. I'm not kidding. -- Larry Hagman
They say money doesn't buy happiness. That phrase should end with 'just kidding'. -- Daniel Tosh
Gloucester's not some chi-chi tourist town. It's a working-class seaport: a no-kidding-around down-and-dirty place. -- Israel Horovitz
The president of the United States can't even fire his chef. I'm not kidding. -- Rob Lowe
Are you kidding? I'm supposed to put my books in this filthy tin coffin? -- Kami Garcia
You think you have anger issues? I just yelled at a sandwich. Not kidding. -- Dov Davidoff
Hey Baby. Baby? You're kidding me, right? I was trying it out. No? No. -- Cassandra Clare
I love eating at Sonic with my family in Oklahoma. And no, I'm not kidding. -- Kristin Chenoweth
I wanted secular, non-Muslim people to stop kidding themselves that Islam is peace and tolerance. -- Ayaan Hirsi Ali
Shit, who the hell am I kidding? Ronin Flynn's hands on my ass feel spectacular. -- J.A. Huss
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Are you kidding? That's the music of the spheres, commissar. It's beautiful. Like old jazz. -- Peter Watts
The only way to the top is killing and greed. Okay, I'm kidding. But killing helps. -- Douglas Coupland
A kitchen without an ironing board? Are you kidding? It's un-American. It's like Simon without Garfunkel. -- Erma Bombeck
Let's stop kidding ourselves that Greek debt is the Euro's key problem. With Greece gone, who's next ? -- Alex Morritt
Some people watching CNN were so shocked they started rioting. No, I'm kidding. No one watches CNN. -- Craig Ferguson
My friends are very rich. Elizabeth Taylor sends flowers the size of the bathtub. I'm not kidding. -- Charles Nelson Reilly
When I swore that you're getting more and more beautiful everyday. Well, I was only kidding, honey. -- Al Yankovic
My dog of 17 years just died. Oh you're kidding?... Noooo... as funny as that is, I'm not -- Ellen DeGeneres
The national anthem blows. Are you kidding me? Do any of you have it on your iPod? -- Daniel Tosh
Are you kidding? He's arrogant, sarcastic, likes to intimidate people, and"?oh." Okay. Maybe she had a point. -- Richelle Mead
Let's all start wearing bolo ties, and when they become hip again, we'll all say we were kidding. -- Dana Gould
Guys ask me, 'Why are you always smiling?' Are you kidding? I'm in the NFL, that's why! -- Hines Ward
I keep saying that the sexy job in the next 10 years will be statisticians, and I'm not kidding. -- Hal Varian
Where am I? (Nick) Hospital. (Kyrian) Really? No kidding? And here I thought I was at McDonald's. (Nick) -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Group sex, are you kidding, I had group sex - my wife screwed in front of the jury. -- Rodney Dangerfield
The true New Yorker secretly believes that people living anywhere else have to be, in some sense, kidding. -- John Updike
[My mother] once cooked a ham and later found it in my father's shirt drawer. I am not kidding. -- Dick Van Dyke
I have lots of girlfriends - all over the country! You think I'm kidding? I'm dead serious. Girlfriends everywhere. -- William Levy
I'm not perfect, but who are we kidding? Neither are you. And you wanna know what? I dig it! -- Vince Vaughn
You're kidding. I thought all geniuses read Latin. Isn't that the international language for smart people?"-Shane (Glass Houses) -- Rachel Caine
I am very sincere. Some people are always kidding, so when you're not, it's going to seem annoying to them. -- Miranda July
Honesty is the best part of any art form. If you don't have that, you're kidding yourself and your listener. -- Billy Joel
God always answers prayers. Sometimes it's 'yes.' Sometimes the answer is 'no.' Sometimes it's 'you gotta be kidding. -- Jimmy Carter
Man, I was tame compared to what they do now. Are you kidding? I didn't do anything but just jiggle. -- Elvis Presley
We should stop kidding ourselves. We should let go of things that aren't true. It's always better with the truth. -- R. Buckminster Fuller
You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile. -- Rachel Caine
Where are we going? You never told me." "My home in Romania." Wow, this guy wasn't kidding with his Dracula fixation. -- Jeaniene Frost
The universe, I'd learned, was never, ever kidding. It would take whatever it wanted and it would never give it back. -- Cheryl Strayed
Can't you nudge her into submission? (Taryn) Are you kidding? As stubborn as she is? I'd fry my brain trying. (Sphinx) -- Sherrilyn Kenyon
Obstructions on the way to enlightenment, are you kidding? Hey, they crucify people here. You think this is an easy place? -- Frederick Lindemann, 1st Viscount Cherwell
What's it like being opposite Arnold Schwarzenegger? For me? Are you kidding? Maybe if I'm lucky, come up to his navel! -- Linda Hunt
Bob Scarpelli [of DDB] has told me I'd rot in hell for the commercials I've done, but I think he's kidding. -- Jeff Goodby
Career mothers are not kidding anybody. Being a mom is the hardest job of all. You got to work to rest. -- Sandy Duncan
She said, and I'm not kidding, 'Is this a speaking role?' I wasn't quite sure how to answer that one. -- Peter Bergman
My advice to American filmmakers is to marry a European. I'm not kidding. Otherwise they don't qualify for international co-production treaties. -- Jeremy Thomas
Christ was born in a manger, laying down amongst donkeys ang goats. He was given gifts of incense and perfume. No kidding. -- Dana Gould
People asked if I could have played the Terminator. Are you kidding? Not a chance, I never could have played the Terminator. -- Sylvester Stallone
I was listening to this Adele song, where she's like, "When we were young..." I was like, "You're 27. Are you kidding me? -- Jake Gyllenhaal
Levity is the lubricant of a crisis. We resort to jokes, pranks and good natured kidding to relieve tension, stress and boredom. -- Wally Schirra
I would say, don't smoke. I'm kidding, but yeah, I did smoke in college and as a young actor and it's stupid. -- Meryl Streep
Who am I kidding? I have no reason for being here other that the fact that I want to be near her. -- Simone Elkeles
God always answers prayer, sometimes with a yes, sometimes with a no and sometimes with a 'You've got to be kidding!' -- Jimmy Carter
Graham Norton makes me laugh. I love him. I'm not kidding. I watch him on BBC America every week. He's so fast. -- Sarah Jessica Parker
I'm totally not kidding. ... Life is too short. This is all too hard to do to actually be kidding about the whole thing. -- Miranda July
Anybody who has the illusion that you can have a career as long as I have and be a star is kidding themselves. -- Suzanne Pleshette
if you don't have doubts you're either kidding yourself or asleep. Doubts are the ants-in-the-pants of faith. They keep it alive and moving. -- Frederick Buechner
Say I had been with a guy like Tom Brady, Peyton Manning or Drew Brees all of my career. Are you kidding me? -- Terrell Owens
My car is so bad, I hit poles I'm not kidding I hit things all the times, I hit bushes it's really bad. -- Selena Gomez
People ask if I can get it up in the morning. I tell them are you kidding I'm envious of a stiff wind. -- Rodney Dangerfield
I'm the guy who wrote The Authority Song. Did they think I was kidding? Did they think it was only a song to entertain? -- John Mellencamp
I used to say, 'Are you kidding?' about some prices for collectibles. I don't anymore because anything that screams its era is collectible. -- Judith Miller
We are about to be attacked by Al Qaeda. Wave flags if you have them. That always seems to scare them away. I'm kidding. -- Kurt Vonnegut
Teller and I worked Renaissance Festivals and street performing - actually more real, no kidding around, Philadelphia street performing than we did Renaissance Festivals. -- Penn Jillette
Why do I want to believe what I believe?... Science, to put it somewhat vulgarly, is a technique to keep yourself from kidding yourself. -- Edwin Land
Baby?" She perched beside him in the chair. "You're kidding me right?" "I was trying it out, no?" "no," she said firmly Simon & Clary -- Cassandra Clare
Warren Buffett's company reportedly owes the IRS a billion dollars in back taxes. When he said he wasn't paying enough taxes, he wasn't kidding. -- Jay Leno
I am everything and I am nothing. I am just kidding; I am not everything and nothing. That would be ridiculous. I am just everything. -- Demetri Martin
I cast a glance in my new admirer's direction. "You may call me Your Highness," I said. "Or Empress Beauty." He chuckled. I wasn't kidding. -- Gena Showalter
You have to change those diapers every day. When those directions on the side of the Pampers box say, 'holds 6-12 pounds' they're not kidding! -- Jeff Foxworthy
Shut up before I drop yo ass off at Koreatown. Now hold on, America, don't start writing no letters. I'm just kidding. But am I lying? -- Bernie Mac
We are kidding ourselves if we don't think of the drug business as a legitimate business. It's what funds governments. It's too much money to ignore. -- Daniel Craig
It's so easy to get caught up in your own self-doubt when you're writing. It can be so easy to tell yourself, "Who am I kidding?" -- Michael Cera

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