Humorous quotes:

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  • Poems for children help them celebrate the joy and wonder of their world. Humorous poems tickle the funny bone of their imaginations. -- Charles Ghigna
  • To be angered by evil is to partake of it, stupid. - Phrases of Import and Salvation, Chapter IX, The Book of Universal Truths and Other Humorous Anecdotes" -- Alan Dean Foster
  • Never mistake motion for action. -- Ernest Hemingway
  • Weather forecast for tonight: dark. -- George Carlin
  • Don't find fault, find a remedy. -- Henry Ford
  • Happiness is good health and a bad memory. -- Ingrid Bergman
  • Marriage is the only adventure open to the cowardly. -- Voltaire
  • Try to learn something about everything and everything about something. -- Thomas Huxley
  • Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? -- Robin Williams
  • If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? -- Abraham Lincoln
  • The only place success comes before work is in the dictionary. -- Vince Lombardi
  • I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. -- Thomas A. Edison
  • Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe. -- H. G. Wells
  • A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds. -- Percy Ross
  • Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you. -- Carl Jung
  • Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. -- Mark Twain
  • When a man is wrapped up in himself, he makes a pretty small package. -- John Ruskin
  • Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian. -- Robert Orben
  • I use humour a lot. My foundation is tragic, but my appearance is humorous. -- Bahman Ghobadi
  • I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical. -- Joel Salatin
  • It's a humorous statement that doesn't mean anything. You can't lie to God - it's ridiculous. -- Jimmy Swaggart
  • Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -- Erica Jong
  • The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. -- Edmund Burke
  • People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. -- Isaac Asimov
  • Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. -- Albert Einstein
  • Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun. -- Flip Wilson
  • I think I did a lot of humorous films when I was young, and they were No. 1 films. -- Jane Birkin
  • I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation. -- W. Somerset Maugham
  • I love the very exposed, humorous, imperfect, never-trying to-pretend-to-be-perfect journey that I have been on in my life. -- Drew Barrymore
  • A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. -- Bob Hope
  • It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. -- Mark Twain
  • By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. -- Robert Frost
  • I love sharing my stories and experiences with people and connecting to them on both a humorous and emotional level. -- Tori Spelling
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -- George Carlin
  • When I started writing this, I found that I simply couldn't take fantasy seriously, so it became humorous, and continued from there. -- Piers Anthony
  • My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical. -- Tim Heidecker
  • Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. -- Albert Einstein
  • The great thing about costume jewelry is that there's something for everyone - there are very humorous pieces and very extravagant and outrageous pieces. -- Judith Miller
  • My childhood memories of my grandparents are of a wonderful, complementary couple. While my grandfather had a spirited, humorous personality, my grandmother is gentle and poised. -- Kristina McMorris
  • America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious; and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese. -- David Riesman
  • The best song lyrics seem to me so artful, so brilliant, so warm and humorous, with both passion and wit, that my admiration is matched only by my envy. -- David Lehman
  • Poetry, I think, intensifies the reader's experience. If it's a humorous facet of the story, poetry makes it more exuberant. If it's a sad facet, poetry can make it more poignant. -- Vikram Seth
  • You know, my main reaction to this money thing is that it's humorous, all the attention to it, because it's hardly the most insightful or valuable thing that's happened to me. -- Steve Jobs
  • I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life. -- Jerome K. Jerome
  • Comedy is to force us to observe ourselves in ways that are humorous and yet, at the end of the day, that cause us enough discomfort with the status quo to make a change. -- Michael Eric Dyson
  • I've spent enough time with soldiers to know that once they get to know you and they loosen up and become themselves, they are some of the biggest hams and most charismatic, cocky, fun, humorous guys I've ever met. -- Peter Berg
  • I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again - I have seen others whose stuff was anything but humorous, and the audience would howl with laughter. -- Al Jolson
  • Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal. -- Bob Costas
  • I think there are two prevailing views of the suburbs in the States: either they're this sort of tedious place, where everyone is the same, buys the same food and drives around in their little minivans, or the view is that the suburbs are extremely perverse in a humorous way. -- Megan Abbott
  • I've been thinking of humorous things since I was... I can't remember when. All the way through elementary school, all the way through junior high, all the way through high school, through college and after college, I was thinking of the same kinds of things that I say in front of an audience now. -- Steven Wright
  • Everwood' I think provides a unique feeling, an emotional experience. And other shows on TV don't have the acting talent to do that. Each one of our actors can do a serious scene and a humorous scene, and can do it all within the same sequence. They can go from a heartbreaking moment to a humorous moment. -- Greg Berlanti
  • I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way. -- Bill Cosby
  • The world is an infinitely fascinating, tragic and humorous place." -- Mike Figgis
  • A clever, imaginative, humorous request can open closed doors and closed minds." -- Percy Ross
  • I'm a Christian-libertarian-environmentalist-capitalist-lunatic. It's a humorous way for me to describe that I'm not stereotypical." -- Joel Salatin
  • The profoundly humorous writers are humorous because they are responsive to the hopeless, uncouth, concatenations of life." -- V. S. Pritchett
  • If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor." -- Suzanne Collins
  • Cultivate," I said, "a sense of humor. From a humorous point of view this lunch is rather good." -- Jerome K. Jerome
  • I can imagine no more comfortable frame of mind for the conduct of life than a humorous resignation." -- W. Somerset Maugham
  • I don't think women's prisons are environments for dance routines, and I don't think mass murder is humorous." -- Natalie Merchant
  • Get well cards have become so humorous that if you don't get sick you're missing half the fun." -- Flip Wilson
  • I don't laugh that much, but I do like humorous books, and I like to entertain readers that way." -- Jonathan Ames
  • I think that if Mozart were alive today and decided to become a novelist, he would write humorous fantasy." -- Frank P. Ryan
  • Could anything possibly be more humorous than believing in the depth or in the depravity of the Parisian character?" -- Stendhal
  • I love humorous games. I love to laugh, and I think it's a really great way to attract players." -- Kim Swift
  • I always say, 'Thank goodness 'Wimpy Kid' was a comedy because my singing in that was more humorous than professional.'" -- Devon Bostick
  • Never say a humorous thing to a man who does not possess humor. He will always use it in evidence against you." -- Herbert Beerbohm Tree
  • What I've always done as an entertainer is try to come up with things that people will find interesting, or compelling, or humorous." -- James Taylor
  • There are many humorous things in the world; among them, the white man's notion that he is less savage than the other savages." -- Mark Twain
  • My dad is a very quick-witted, sarcastic, dry, humorous guy, whereas my mom's very silly, and that side of the family is very musical." -- Tim Heidecker
  • Rocket," I said, straightening in the chairDonovan was just helping me with my contacts."Donovan raised his brows humorously.Rocket furrowed hisDid you swallow them?" -- Darynda Jones
  • There's a few tunes of mine that don't have jokes, but most of them have a joke and they have a humorous point of view somewhere." -- Mose Allison
  • The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it." -- Mark Twain
  • Japan is the first nation in the world to accord 'comic books'--originally a 'humorous' form of entertainment mainly for young people--nearly the same social status as novels and films." -- Frederik L. Schodt
  • America is not only big and rich, it is mysterious; and its capacity for the humorous or ironical concealment of its interests matches that of the legendary inscrutable Chinese." -- David Riesman
  • I love the protest signs protected by the First Amendment - some of them humorous, some of them passionate, some factual, some entirely incorrect - all of them free ideas." -- Jennifer M. Granholm
  • Poetry, I think, intensifies the reader's experience. If it's a humorous facet of the story, poetry makes it more exuberant. If it's a sad facet, poetry can make it more poignant." -- Vikram Seth
  • I can see the humorous side of things and enjoy the fun when it comes; but look where I will, there seems to me always more sadness than joy in life." -- Jerome K. Jerome
  • Eventually I would like to touch all the genres. I would like to do some detective stories, and I want to do a Western. I would want to do humorous Westerns." -- Sergio Aragones
  • I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious -- unless he purposely shut the eyes of his mind & keep them shut by force." -- Mark Twain
  • I hadn't noticed before how his mouth lifted up at one corner, as if he found life to humorous to stop smiling completely. Such a smile should be preserved forever in a drawing." -- Sharon Biggs Waller
  • But when they offered this little situation for me to do this voice in this special segment, I found it so incredibly humorous that I said yes, and I enjoyed it. It was fun." -- Werner Klemperer
  • This story is not and never was meant to challenge anyone's faith; however, if one's faith can be shaken by stories in a humorous novel, one may have a bit more praying to do." -- Christopher Moore
  • Comedy is to force us to observe ourselves in ways that are humorous and yet, at the end of the day, that cause us enough discomfort with the status quo to make a change." -- Michael Eric Dyson
  • But it is a melancholy of mine own, compounded of many simples, extracted from many objects, and indeed the sundry contemplation of my travels, which, by often rumination, wraps me in the most humorous sadness." -- William Shakespeare
  • I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project." -- Ron Glass
  • She expressed an opinion that the happiness of a woman in Paradise is beneath the soles of her husband's feet,' he enlightened humorously, seemingly not at all averse to her obvious desire to be comforted." -- Margaret Rome
  • Thery're both iron, isn't that funny?""Funny haha or funny strange?"James handed them back to me "Funny 'occult'""Ah. Funny strange"James looked at me sternly, "Don't start that. I'm supposed to be the humorous one" -- Maggie Stiefvater
  • But the character of the music emphasized the tale as allegory--humorous, poignant, humane allegory--disclosing the metamorphosis of life itself, in which man moves from confident inexperience through the bitterness of experience, toward the rueful wisdom of self-knowledge." -- Robertson Davies
  • I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again - I have seen others whose stuff was anything but humorous, and the audience would howl with laughter." -- Al Jolson
  • I've spent enough time with soldiers to know that once they get to know you and they loosen up and become themselves, they are some of the biggest hams and most charismatic, cocky, fun, humorous guys I've ever met." -- Peter Berg
  • What's humorous to me about using "bitch" as an insult is that it clearly illustrates just how marginalized women really are; for this singular insult stands to throw us out of the human species altogether, and quite literally, to the dogs." -- Brandon Kelly
  • I really like the Observer. I think I'd love to have a column with a broad reach that would enable me to do some proper reporting, but keep it on sort of a humorous level. I've always had a very happy experience writing for them." -- Toby Young
  • Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal." -- Bob Costas
  • Look at Gleason in The Honeymooners. He was humorous but the way he lived wasn't really humorous. He was a bus driver. Who wants to be a bus driver? He didn't have any money and he was not famous. But despite that, the show is humorous." -- George Thorogood
  • I suppose I look for humor in most situations because it humanizes things; it makes a character much more three-dimensional if there's some kind of humor. Not necessarily laugh-out-loud type of stuff, just a sense that there is a humorous edge to things. I do like that." -- Colm Meaney
  • I'm very physical. I'm extremely active, and I would love to do something a little more sexy and dangerous, a la Sophia Loren, or funny and humorous, a la Woody Allen. Getting to do things along those lines would be extremely wicked and a dream come true." -- Azita Ghanizada
  • While I would agree that I write about serious subjects, and that they're not necessarily the most pleasant subjects or even the most pleasant people, as a writer I just think about the humorous aspects of these things - that's what keeps me going when I'm writing a story." -- Ann Beattie
  • I think there are two prevailing views of the suburbs in the States: either they're this sort of tedious place, where everyone is the same, buys the same food and drives around in their little minivans, or the view is that the suburbs are extremely perverse in a humorous way." -- Megan Abbott
  • If one tends to be a humorous person and you have a sense of humor the rest of your life then you can certainly lighten the load, I think, by bringing that to your trials and tribulations. It's easy to have a sense of humor when everything is going well." -- Alan Thicke
  • Galen poked Eryx on the shoulder three timesBrother, if you feed the cats, they'll keep coming back. Please. I beg you. Stop." Bill and Andy broke out in laughter. I bit my bottom lip to keep from smiling at Galen's rude, yet humorous remark. Jean and Marie took half a turn and walked away." -- Nely Cab
  • You've reached Fangtasia, where the undead live again every night...For bar hours, press one. To make a party reservation, press two. To talk to a live person or a dead vampire, press three. Or, if you were intending to leave a humorous prank message on our answering machine, know this: we will find you." -Pam" -- Charlaine Harris
  • There are many pleasant fictions of the law in constant operation, but there is not one so pleasant or practically humorous as that which supposes every man to be of equal value in its impartial eye, and the benefits of all laws to be equally attainable by all men, without the smallest reference to the furniture of their pockets." -- Charles Dickens
  • There is an Anglo-Saxon form of riddling that plays with the polarities of words like bright and dark, cold and warm, throwing them against one another and crafting lines of rich, humorous nonsense like this poem that has been around for so many hundreds of years that you just have to sit back and, with nothing else in mind, laugh out loud." -- Gerald Hausman
  • I compare a lot of life to looking at a map through a straw. The less ability you have to see life in a humorous way, the smaller the straw is that you're looking at the map of life. You're not looking at the whole picture. You can't see the whole topography without it, and it can help you to make better choices." -- Reggie Watts
  • I think there are a lot of things out there that are humorous that people don't realize until you actually show them what is going on. Saran Wrap for one thing. You know, you could pull enough of that out of the box and it will actually kill you. It will get a hold of you, stick to you, and choke you to death." -- Tim Conway
  • There was a great joke that was forever doing the rounds in the jail and it was probably funny not because it had a humorous punchline but because it was so very true at a deep psychological level. Put anyone in that jail and soon enough they'd actually become a cruel, twisted, sadistic and heartless thug. And some of the prisoners were just as bad." -- H.M. Forester
  • The world is an infinitely fascinating, tragic and humorous place. -- Mike Figgis
  • I've always tried to explore the humorous aspects of life. -- Ted Lange
  • Go to humorous events at comedy clubs and watch laughable movies. -- Jeffrey Gitomer
  • I'm just trying to portray what I find ironic or humorous. -- Max Cannon
  • There are several kinds of stories, but only one difficult kind-the humorous. -- Mark Twain
  • A God who cannot smile, could not have created this humorous universe. -- Sri Aurobindo
  • There's a humorous side to every situation. The challenge is to find it. -- George Carlin
  • The world is Absolutely Brilliant. Difficult sometimes. Confusing often. But humorous almost always. -- Henry L. Walton
  • The stupider the regime the more intelligent the people get and the more humorous. -- Christopher Hitchens
  • The most colossal display of wise, inspiring, and humorous metaphors ever exhibited in one place. -- Richard Lederer
  • Subversive, ethical, ecological, political, humorous ... this is how I see my duty as a designer. -- Philippe Starck
  • If you appeal to the crowd, either by being humorous or brutal or eccentric, you gain favor. -- Suzanne Collins
  • As long as you can savor the humorous aspect of misery and misfortune, you can overcome anything. -- John Candy
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