Mr. Toad Quotes in
Mr. Toad Quotes:
Mr. Toad: Come along! Hop up here! We'll go for a jolly ride! The open road! The dusty highway! Come! I'll show you the world! Travel! Scene! Excitement! Ha ha ha!
Mr. Toad: [in court giving his defense; to Cyril] Are you familiar with the defendant J. Thaddeus Toad?
Cyril Proudbottom: Lord love a duck, yes! He's one of the jolliest chaps I've ever run across! And simply *tons* of money!
Prosecutor: [to Cyril] Good fellow, eh? Throws it away. BUT he wasn't throwing it away *that* day! You heard Mr. MacBadger's testify that his allowance was cut off! Then how did he get the motorcar?
Cyril Proudbottom: The only way a gentlemen gets anything: the *honest* way.
Prosecutor: And what *is* the honest way?
Cyril Proudbottom: Ha-ha, I thought you wouldn't know that one, guv'nor.
[Toad enters Rat and Mole's house and faints]
Mole: Why... it's a poor old lady. Let's move her over by the fire.
[They move Toad, then his chain ball lands on Rat's foot]
Rat: Oww! Toad! What are you doing here?
Mr. Toad: Well, I just, um... sort of...
Mole: Well, this is a merry Christmas... but aren't you afraid of the police?
Mr. Toad: Afraid of the police?
Mr. Toad: I, Toad, afraid of the police?
[he laughs some more, then a loud knock and yelling comes from the door]
Angus MacBadger: [from behind the door] OPEN UP! OPEN UP, I SAY!
Mr. Toad: [mortified] THE POLICE!
[During his trial, Mr. Toad summons a witness: Winky the barman who had taken possession of Toad Hall in exchange for the car]
Mr. Toad: [to the courtroom] Milord, gentlemen, facing you in the witness box is a citizen of substance and stance; a man of unimpeachable honesty.
Mr. Toad: Now, Mr. Winky, do you recall an incident that took place in your establishment, about August the 12th, that I was a party to?
Winky: Oh, yes, sir. That I do, sir.
Mr. Toad: Well, then, just tell the court what actually happened.
Winky: Well, gov'nor, you tried to sell me a stolen motorcar.
[Mr. Toad is surrounded by the guards]
Cyril Proudbottom: [yelling at Winky] That's a deliberate lie, you mooky-faced little mouthbox!
[Rat and Mole have interrupted Toad's rampage with Cyril and the cart]
Rat: Toad, we want to have a talk with you.
Mr. Toad: Oh, a visit? Splendid.
Rat: Toad, this is serious. You've got to give up that horse and cart.
Mr. Toad: [in disbelief] Give up my... Oh, but my dear Ratty, this is my career. Surely, you can't mean it.
Rat: I do mean it. You've got to stop this foolishness.
Mr. Toad: No.
Rat: You must!
Mr. Toad: No, I won't do it!
Rat: Your reckless is behavior is giving us animals a bad name.
Mr. Toad: I won't listen to anything!
[he covers his ears and everything Rat says is softened, but whenever he removes his hands from his ears, Rat speaks louder]
Rat: Your thoughts are becoming a menace to society. If you won't think of yourself, then think of poor old MacBadger. And as for that horse, no good could ever come from galloping about with such a fast and irresponsible beast.
[when he hears this last part, Cyril covers his ears with his ears. Toad laughs]
Angus MacBadger: [whispering] Careful, lads. There's a guard.
[Toad whips out a rifle]
Mr. Toad: [shouts] I'll pop him off!
Mr. Toad: Gad! What is it?
Cyril Proudbottom: Lumme, Guv'nor! It's a motorcar.
Mr. Toad: Motorcar?
[the motorcar passes by, knocking the cart over and leaving Toad on the ground]
Mr. Toad: A motorcar. Gad! What have I been missing.
[Starts making car noises]
Mr. Toad: I want you fellows to meet my noble steed, Cyril.
Cyril Proudbottom: Aye, that's me.
Cyril Proudbottom: A bit of a trotter, a bit of a rotter. How do you do, how do you do, how do you DO?
Rat: [lifting his hat] How do you do?
Cyril Proudbottom: [to Toad] Say, gov'nor, your friends appear to be on the stuffy side, what?
[Toad is acting like a motorcar. His friends blame it on his mania for cars and grab him and drag him home]
Narrator: Mania, that's it. That's what it was, a positive mania. No telling where it would end, either; it may linger for months, and with Toad Hall at stake.
[Toad's friends have successfully escorted him to his room in his home at Toad Hall]
Narrator: Well, they had no choice. There was only one thing to do: lock the poor chap in his chamber and keep him there until the poison worked out of his system.
[Rat and Mole dress Toad in his nightclothes and throw water over him to stop his acting like a car]
Mole: [after Toad stops] That's better.
Rat: [to Toad] And you can't escape, you know. Simply no use trying.
[They shut the door and lock it. Toad pounds on the door and tugs on it, trying to open it]
Mr. Toad: Let me outta here! Open up! Open up, I say! Please, Ratty, Moley, open the door!
Narrator: Now, of course, playing jailer to one's dearest friend wasn't much of an enjoyable experience. In fact, Moley weakened right at the start and wanted to call it quits, but Ratty said, "No. Definitely not." This time they must be firm. After all, it wasn't just a matter of saving Toad from himself. There was MacBadger to consider, and Toad Hall and all that it stood for.
Mr. Toad: A motorcar! Gad... what have I been missing?
[Toad, having just seen a motorcar go by him, is so enraptured by it that he starts making noises and moving around like a car]
Mole: Ratty! It isn't. He hasn't!
Rat: It is, and he has it: a new mania. Motor mania!
Mr. Toad: [frantically to Rat thinking the police are at the door] Hide me! Hide me, Ratty!
Rat: Sorry, Toad, but you owe a debt to society, and you've got to pay. Mole, let them in.
Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, I've just made a very important discovery.
[as he speaks, we cut to Toad Hall, where Winky and the weasels are living now]
Angus MacBadger: Toad Hall is ablaze with lights. And in possession, a pack of weasels. And the leader of the gang is none other than Mister...
[Winky shows he has the deed to Toad Hall]
Weasels: Hip hip hooray!
[end of flashback]
Angus MacBadger: And so you see, he DID trade Toad Hall for the motorcar.
Rat: Then, Toad was innocent all the time.
Angus MacBadger: Aye, lads, and if only he were here right now...
[Toad, who was clinging to the top of the Christmas tree, suddenly falls into MacBadger's arms]
Angus MacBadger: Toad!
Mr. Toad: [happily] Angus!
Rat: Sorry, Toad. I misjudged you.
Mole: I hope, someday, you'll find it in your heart...
Mr. Toad: Tut, tut. Not another word. To err is human to forgive...
Angus MacBadger: [dropping Toad on the ground] Thaddeus, not so fast! You're still guilty in the eyes of the law. To prove your innocence, we've got to get that paper away from Winky! Now, I have a plan. We'll sneak in through the secret tunnel...
Mr. Toad: We'll go for a jolly ride!
[begins to jump rope on the rump of his horse with his buggy whip]
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