Mike Baker Quotes in Cheaper by the Dozen 2 (2005)

[Sarah knocks Mike off his skateboard]

Mike Baker: SARAH!

Brenda Baker: Don't be a smartass.

Mike Baker: Ok, I'll be a dumbass.

Mike Baker: [about Ginny] Dad, she's got her period. Should make for an interesting honeymoon, huh?

Jim Baker: Where are you learning that stuff?

Mike Baker: School.

Jim Baker: Good. I get my money's worth.

Long Duk Dong: Very clever dinner. Appetizing food fit neatly into interesting round pie.

Mike Baker: It's a quiche.

Long Duk Dong: How do you spell?

Grandpa Fred: Well you don't spell it, son, you eat it.

[laughs]

Mike Baker: What the hell are you bitchin' about? I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork.

Samantha: Then where am I sleeping?

Mike Baker: Sofa City, Sweetheart.

Brenda Baker: Oh, Sam. Sam, I am so sorry about your birthday.

Samantha: It's okay. I'll recover.

Brenda Baker: It's important to you. And yesterday morning, you were trying to tell me.

[Sniffling]

Samantha: It's okay, Mom. These things sometimes happen.

Brenda Baker: Oh, honey, I just feel miserable.

Samantha: You'll feel better.

Mike Baker: Who died?

Brenda Baker: Uh... Is there something you want to say to your sister?

Mike Baker: What? Are you kidding? Where should I start?

Brenda Baker: I mean about her birthday. It was yesterday. We all forgot.

Mike Baker: [laughing] Classic.

Brenda Baker: Deep down, he's really sorry.

Samantha, Brenda Baker: [Together] No, he's not.