Freakshow Quotes in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle (2004)

Freakshow: What the hell are you doing with my wife?

Harold: Y-you said outside that we could have sex with her!

Kumar: Shit! Shit!

Freakshow: I most certainly did not!

Harold: Yes you did!

Freakshow: Did not!

Kumar: Yes you did!

Freakshow: Oh, no, I didn't.

Kumar: You did, you did.

Freakshow: You sure...?

Harold: You said it!

Freakshow: [laughing] My mistake! Well, since we're all here... How 'bout a four-some?

Freakshow: Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, fuck my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything the good lord would'nt do.

Kumar: [walking away with Harold] Dude am I going deaf or did he just say we could fuck his wife?

Freakshow: It's gonna take me a while to fix up your car there, so if you boys like, you can go on inside, get yourselves something to drink, wash up, fuck my wife, watch TV - anything you want. Mi casa es su casa. Just don't do anything the Good Lord wouldn't do.

Freakshow: Who wants first reach-around?

Kumar: [whispering to Harold] Check out those boils on his neck! You gotta look! One of them is actually pulsating!

Harold: [whispering] Will you shut up? He's right next to me! He can hear you!

Kumar: [whispering] Ugh! Now there's some sort of Puss! Just look!

Harold: [Harold looks at Freakshow's neck]

Kumar: [whispering] See? Isn't that the most disgusting thing you've ever seen?

Harold: [whispering] You think that just because you're whispering he can't hear what you are saying? He's two feet away from us! He can hear this entire conversation! He can hear me talking... right now!

Kumar: [whispering] Don't worry about it, he can't hear anything. Not with all that crust in his ear.

[brief pause]

Freakshow: I heard everything you said.

Harold: Harold: Thanks, for helping us out.

Freakshow: [Long Pause]

Freakshow: ...Oh no problem at all, I seen you two stranded out there. Alone. In the darkness.

Freakshow: [Under his breath. While staring at Harold] I said to myself.

Freakshow: [Short Pause]

Freakshow: What would Jesus do?

Freakshow: [Takes hands off the steering wheel and starts clapping and singing]

Freakshow: Goin' down to Georgia, gonna get myself baptised, gonna get myself baptised In the puddle of the looooooorrd.

Freakshow: Go on inside, boys, and make yourselves at home. You can rest up, get something to drink, fuck my wife, whatever you want. Just don't do anything Jesus wouldn't!

Kumar: [starts walking away with Harold] Did he just say we could fuck his wife?

Freakshow: Hey Randy! What? The devil! Whuh? The devil is everywhere...

Freakshow: Hey Randy! What? The devil! Oh! The devil is everywhere... Hey Randy! What? Liqour! Ooh! The devil is everywhere... Hey Randy! What? Tobacco! Ooh! The devil is everywhere... Hey Randy! What? Crystal meth!... oh... uhh... The devil... is... everywhere... Let's take a breather and pray...

Kumar: Kumar: My names Kumar.

Freakshow: Freakshow:

[Lifts hand in the air, immediately, whilst still watching the road]

Freakshow: How are you, Kenny?

Kumar: Kumar:

[Confused, by this over reaction]

Kumar: Um... And this is Harold.

Freakshow: Freakshow: Hi, Gerald how are you?