Funny Women quotes:

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A woman should soften but not weaken a man. -- Sigmund Freud
I hate women because they always know where things are. -- Voltaire
Girls are like pianos. When they're not upright, they're grand. -- Benny Hill
I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason. -- Stanley Baldwin
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works. -- Will Rogers
To a smart girl men are no problem - they're the answer. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle. -- Gloria Steinem
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke. -- Groucho Marx
Do you not know I am a woman? when I think, I must speak. -- William Shakespeare
High heels were invented by a woman who had been kissed on the forehead. -- Christopher Morley
I do not believe in using women in combat, because females are too fierce. -- Margaret Mead
All women are basically in competition with each other for a handful of eligible men. -- Mignon McLaughlin
All pretty girls are a trap, a pretty trap, and men expect them to be. -- Tennessee Williams
Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we would never need solace. -- Don Herold
Men at most differ as Heaven and Earth, but women, worst and best, as Heaven and Hell. -- Alfred Lord Tennyson
I prefer the word 'homemaker' because 'housewife' always implies that there may be a wife someplace else. -- Bella Abzug
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied. -- Oscar Wilde
Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they do not like him. -- Marlene Dietrich
I have a friend named Doris who argues, on good authority, that the single biggest cause of global warming is menopause. -- Dave Barry
The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time. -- Brian Wilson
I have an idea that the phrase weaker sex was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm. -- Ogden Nash
Men are simpler than you imagine my sweet child. But what goes on in the twisted, tortuous minds of women would baffle anyone. -- Daphne du Maurier
Men enjoy being thought of as hunters, but are generally too lazy to hunt. Women, on the other hand, love to hunt, but would rather nobody knew it. -- Mignon McLaughlin
I've always loved independent women, outspoken women, eccentric women, funny women, flawed women. When someone says about a woman, 'I'm sorry, that's just wrong,' I tend to think she must be doing something right. -- Diane Keaton
The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. -- Bob Newhart
Funny women are honest women. -- Elizabeth Meriwether
Women have been funny for years. -- Beth Behrs
There's always something funny about men chasing women. -- David Spade
There are some really funny women at 'SNL,' man. -- Bill Hader
I love funny women. I love writing funny women characters. -- Michael Patrick King
A funny thing about women and machines: the combination made men curious. -- Rachel Kushner
There's always an article coming out, saying, 'The new thing is funny women!' -- Lena Dunham
Maybe pretty women were always funny but only now decided to go into comedy, -- Patricia Marx
I think the whole concept that women aren't funny is dead. It's over; it's done. -- Kate Flannery
Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women. -- Rachel Bloom
I was the little, funny one. I felt I was the child among grown women. -- Julie Walters
Diane Keaton is good for women in and of herself. She's smart and funny and real. -- Gloria Steinem
I feel like people are funny, and women are people, so I'm sick of the distinction. -- Kate Flannery
I'm still compulsively interested in women. It's funny, I've always compulsively photographed women. I still do. -- Garry Winogrand
To me, I've never understood why there is any question about are women as funny as men. -- Judd Apatow
Thereâ??s always an article coming out, saying, â??The new thing is funny women!â?? -- Lena Dunham
I love funny women, and just being around them talking is fine with me. I love an interesting mind. -- Curtis Jackson
Sites like Funny or Die and College Humor are great, but I'd say it's appealing to 80% men and 20% women. -- Zooey Deschanel
Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman -- Dawn French
Intellectually, I think everyone really knows that women are funny, but it's a weird thing that people keep trotting out. -- Bonnie McFarlane
I think it's so funny when people think they can't control a movie star. They can. We're just women, you know -- Esther Williams
It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget. -- Chuck Palahniuk
A funny thing about women and machines: the combination made made curious. They seemed to think it had something to do with them. -- Rachel Kushner
There were people asking 'Can women be funny?' People still ask that. It's like asking: 'Can women breathe in and out?' -- Julie Walters
Saying women aren't funny is now like saying Asians can't drive or saying black people have bad credit. It's just really, like, so obsolete. -- Whitney Cummings
It's funny - my wife is more jealous of my books than of other women because I'm always working and thinking about my books. -- Antonio Lobo Antunes
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There are a lot of funny people and a lot of unfunny people. Some of them are women and some of them are dudes. -- Lake Bell
I love a lot of comedy actors and actresses like Kristen Wiig and Tina Fey and all those women who are really brilliant and funny. -- Saoirse Ronan
It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids. -- Ana Gasteyer
I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone? -- Tom Brady
I think Irish women are strong as horses, incredibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating reality. -- Fionnula Flanagan
It was enormously challenging because you want that all-American girl, but you also want the cool WASP, privileged white girl. Usually, women in that package aren't funny. -- Jenji Kohan
Because I grew up with women, I have a certain amount of charm, and I'm all right to get on with, kind enough, funny enough, blah blah blah. -- James Nesbitt
As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny. -- Jenny Eclair
I definitely take after my dad, looks-wise. But my mum is my greatest inspiration. All the women in my family are amazing. They're hilarious. I love funny people. -- Shari Sebbens
Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in the long term. -- Patton Oswalt
I've always been the goofy kid. Growing up, I always enjoyed the comedic aspect of relating to women. Even on camera, it was always the funny take on it. -- Will Smith
What's so great about working with really funny women is that vanity comes second. Whatever makes it real and funny, they're going to go for, and it's just great. -- Paul Feig
I trained at The Groundlings and was surrounded by some very funny women and also some very unfunny men. I didn't feel a sense of things being different because I was a girl. -- Kaitlin Olson

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