Bill Hader quotes:

Las Vegas, New Mexico has had a lot of great movies shot there.

My wife and I were on our honeymoon in Turks and Caicos, in the middle of nowhere, and I'm sitting on this deserted beach, and I see one lone person walking along the shore. He walks right up to me and says, 'I love 'Laser Cats,' and then just walks away.

I just did this movie with Kristin Wiig called 'The Skeleton Twins.' That's a straight drama. We play estranged twins, and I end up moving in with her and her husband, played by Luke Wilson. But it's a drama, and the Duplass Brothers produced it and this great guy, Craig Johnson, directed it. And that was great, you know?

My first real job, I sold Christmas trees when I was twelve for extra money. I did that until I was fifteen. Then I bagged groceries, and I worked at the first Borders ever in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

At the beginning of each week at 'Saturday Night Live,' we have a full cast meeting where Lorne Michaels introduces the upcoming host.

I got invited to the Playboy Mansion with the Lonely Island guys after their first season on 'SNL,' and I sat in the corner drinking coffee and talking to Akiva Schaffer about what aspect ratio he was going to shoot 'Hot Rod' in. Like, that's what we talk about.

I saw 'A Clockwork Orange' when I was 11. When you watch 'Clockwork Orange' at 11, it either totally scares you from watching movies, or you want to become a filmmaker. I was the latter.

The first time I ever acted was in 'The Glass Menagerie' in high school, and my first line was, 'I didn't know Shakespeare had a sister.'

For our anniversary, my wife and I went to see Godzilla, and then we ate at Barnyard Venice, and it was like, 'We are crazy! The Kardashians have to keep up with us!'

I think that's the thing I learned at 'Saturday Night Live' - any time I would try and strategize, I would always, always fall on my face. Things worked out when I tried to make it about what I was feeling at that moment and what I was into in that moment of my life.

The whole thing with animated movies is that it's very hard to get out of your head because it's very moving through each line systematically.

I worked at a movie theater in Tempe, Arizona, when I went to community college there. And I got fired because a sorority had rented out a theater to watch 'Titanic,' and they were being really rude to me while they were waiting for the movie. So as I tore their tickets, I told them the end of the movie.

A person being patient with an insane person is my favorite thing in the world.

SNL' is really hard to do when you're single and living alone. And then it's pretty tough when you're married, because you don't see your spouse.

I'm very close to my sisters.

My parents were supportive. I didn't have good grades, but they could tell I wasn't lazy.

I work a lot, and it's kind of like, you meet people, and you just click. It's not like I'm looking at something and thinking: 'South Park' - how do I get on that?' I just became friends with those guys first. They're nice guys.

Every relationship is work.

I was always self-conscious about the fact that I didn't have as much comedy experience as other people at 'SNL,' and I kept thinking they were going to realize they'd made a mistake by hiring me.

When I was on 'SNL,' I was getting weirdly anxious about being on camera, which I had never really done before. And so my solution was just to not watch my stuff. And then I found out that other actors do it, too, and I felt less weird about it.

I kind of romanticized what it was like to be a writer and director when I was in my early twenties. Working as a production assistant knocked that right out of me.

I never resented anybody for being successful.

If you can't forgive yourself, you think you're never going to be able to forgive yourself, and you repeat the same behavior.

I grew up with my two sisters and my mom, so it's my lot in life to be surrounded by women.

There are some really funny women at 'SNL,' man.

I started 'SNL,' and I became the one who did impressions. I did that, but then I wanted to get an original character on, and that took a long time to get one on that stuck. And then I got Vinny Vedecci on - 'Oh great' - and then it took a couple more seasons to get Greg the Alien on. You have to have some patience.

It is funny that people always assume you have a bigger part in a movie than you actually do. I remember a lot of people thought 'Adventureland' starred me and Kristen Wiig. But we were like, 'No, we're only in the movie for like ten minutes!'

I don't believe in the term 'guilty pleasure,' because it implies I should feel ashamed for liking something. A real guilty pleasure would be, I don't know, taking gratification in some stranger's ghastly death or something - which I guess I do enjoy, because I read a ton of true crime.

Getting 'SNL' was pretty amazing, so just to be able to have an eight-year career there and be really happy with everything I did, it was pretty big.

Good directors give short and specific instructions to their actors.

Every two months, I would get an email, 'Skeleton Twins update: still don't have the money!'

Fred Armisen does a pretty good me.

My dad was a big Frank Zappa fan, so I remember listening to a lot of Frank Zappa. Girls do not like Frank Zappa.

I met Robin Williams a few times, and he was a beautiful guy.

I remember being unbelievable bummed when 'Freaks and Geeks' was canceled.

I've been a big fan of David Wain's and was honored to get to be in one of his projects.

I'm the only one in Tulsa, Oklahoma, that has Final Draft on my computer. Then you show up and go to any coffee shop in L.A., and there are a hundred people your age with Final Draft.

I really liked John Candy in 'Planes, Trains & Automobiles.' He was so good in that movie.

I started making little short films with friends, and then I decided I wanted to get into the school play in high school.

Let's face it: I look pretty out of shape.

If a movie doesn't even have financing yet, they'll do a table read for it at a casting director's office with actors, for the producer and the writer, just to hear if the movie is working.

When you move to L.A. or New York, it's easy to get a little lost and forget your original goal.

I took Second City out of desperation, and that's what ended up working out. It shows that you should be doing a lot of different stuff, taking whatever opportunities are there, to see what works.

I would do 'Superbad,' and the next offers you would get would all be crazy cop characters or crazy security guards or something.

I have a lot of incomplete short films and incomplete scripts out there.

I don't like the sound of my voice or how I look or anything.

You learn quickly at 'SNL' you get in trouble if you compare yourself to other people, where they're at, or what other people had done before you.

I like when you are telling a story and fall into an impression.

If you can't forgive yourself, you think you're never going to be able to forgive yourself.

If a guy doesn't like a funny girl, something is wrong with him.

When I got to Saturday Night Live, it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to figure stuff out.

Vanity Fair' did this grid thing a couple years ago, connecting people who've worked together, and I had the most branches on it or whatever, because I'd worked with so-and-so and so-and-so worked with so-and-so, and I was kind of in the middle.

Top Ten lists make me insane. I just know they're going to change daily.

I really enjoyed playing Vinny Vedecci, the Italian talk show host. He was the first character I ever came up with where I gave him a name and a way of dressing.

I remember seeing 'Spinal Tap' at a young age and being like, 'That's how you perform comedy.'

Seth Meyers and I wrote a 'Spider-Man' comic.

I can't do Twitter or Facebook, mostly because I feel like I'm the type of person who has to regiment the amount of time I spend doing certain things or I'll just wade in it, and then I'll never come out.

Oddly enough, I have really bad stage fright - getting up in front of people. And I made a living going on live television.

When I got to 'Saturday Night Live,' it was a lot like going from pre-school to Harvard, and it took a long time to figure stuff out.

You know what, I remember being on my T-ball team and telling people about 'Platoon.'

I grew up in a total Pink Floyd house.

I'm crazy lucky. I was trying to be a filmmaker. I was doing Second City classes as a way to be creative. I was a PA for a long time. I was working as an assistant editor on 'Iron Chef America' when I got 'SNL.' It was one of those situations where you're concentrating in one thing and the peripheral thing popped.

In 'Winter's Bone,' it's literally the director and the camera operator. That's it. Just a super-small Kubrick crew. You know what I mean? Like, 8 people.

I tried to get people at 'South Park' into 'Downton Abbey,' and it didn't work. I think they were like, 'Downton Abbey?' What?' And I kinda made a big plea in the writer's room, like, 'Guys, you should really watch it. It's good. It's addicting. My wife and I are obsessed with it.'

Voices are a good way to get in and out of things. James Carville constantly calls my wife to say I'll be home late. Mandy Patinkin and Al Pacino call to get me restaurant reservations.

I remember I could do - I did Bart Simpson once on the bus. I did, like, a really good Bart Simpson voice on the bus, obviously before I hit puberty. And everybody went, 'Whoa, that sounds just like Bart Simpson.'

I've never met Charlie Sheen.

Jason Sudeikis is always chewing gum.

The first time I met James Franco, he was dressed like James Dean. He was James Dean, literally, filming a biopic.

Even though it doesn't look like it, I run. On a treadmill. And I bounce around to all the songs on my iPod - the Pixies, Wagner, Richard and Linda Thompson, even books on tape. Just not self-help ones.

Pete Davidson - he's in the movie 'Trainwreck.' He has a small part in it. I told Lorne Michaels about him, said he was really funny.

I'm a huge fan of Simon Pegg and Nick Frost.

I was at Second City L.A., going through the conservatory, and I graduated in 2004 and I got 'SNL' in 2005.

A lot of times I think people, when they're doing a movie that's a family movie, they're worried about this being too esoteric or too dark or too weird.

To be totally honest? I don't know if I'll keep doing more impressions. People told me I had a facility for it, and I was like, 'Okay, I'm the impression guy.' So you imagine the cast at 'SNL' is an A-Team, and you've got the explosives guy, and I'm the impression guy.

My wife and I got to go onstage at a Flaming Lips concert at Webster Hall once. We dressed up like Scientology aliens and danced around. We had a shootout onstage with Santa Claus.

The State' was a huge thing for me. I watched that and 'SNL' together when I was 15, 16.

I was a production assistant in the post department on 'The Surreal Life.' And it's been reported before that I was an assistant editor on 'The Surreal Life.' That is not true.

I was in a sketch group in L.A., and we were playing, like, backyards in Glendale and stuff. It was pretty ugly because we didn't have any money.

I had a small part in 'Pineapple Express.'

Paul Rudd is a huge 'Hot Rod' fan.

You can be the lead in a movie just for the sake of being a lead in a movie, or you can just be in a good movie.

I loved growing up in Tulsa.

Comedy is incredibly hard. You have to be loose. You have to be not afraid to fail.

Jon Ronson makes me laugh. I've read all of his books.

I hated pitch meetings. Pitch meetings were my least favorite part of the week. I just gave up. I was so terrible at them.

I move out here, and next thing I know I'm 25, and the only thing I've heard is, 'Can you get a coffee, can you hurry up with the thing, blah blah blah.' It was nice doing something and hearing someone go, 'Hey, you're good at this.'

No one knows anything. You're going to make mistakes and you're going to do things that people think are stupid. You can't sit there and go, "I never want to make a mistake."

Yeah, improvising only really works 100% when you're with somebody.

It's not like you get up on stage and you're immediately a genius. It takes a long time. So, don't be discouraged.

All the stories have to do with emotion. Emotion is driving everything.

The best thing to do is to get out in front of an audience as much as you can, and learn from the experience.

My kids, they're always embarrassed when my voice shows up in something.

The idea of a Chicago band that wanted to sing songs about California is really funny. Having never been to California.

My dad's from there, and I have relatives there, but I don't think I've been to Chicago since I was like 9.

My kids, they're always embarrassed when my voice shows up in something. I took them to Inside Out, and my voice comes in, and they were like, "Ugh, Dad, what are you doing? Get out of there."

I remember getting in the elevator for my audition and there was a guy next to me who had a backpack full of props and wigs and things, and I went, 'Oh, my God, that guy is so prepared, I have nothing, I have no props.' And that was Andy Samberg. And Andy Samberg said he was looking at me going, 'Oh, that guy has no props. He doesn't need props.' And that was the first time we met, was in that elevator.

I would say the biggest difference is that you're just in a studio by yourself when you're making an animated movie. You don't have anybody to play off of.

Growing up in Oklahoma, there wasn't much to do. Play sports, do a lot of drugs, or read and watch movies, which is what I did.

I was into writing and directing. I was a bit of a reluctant actor. I would always ask friends to shoot or direct their movies, but then they'd want me to be in them.

I can't cook. I can barely make a bowl of cereal.

I'm not a fan of the Eagles, but I've watched their documentary numerous times and everyone who's watched it with me has sung along to the songs, much to my dismay.

I always felt better co-writing something - always co-writing. Because if I was the lead of it and it failed, then it failed on my own accord. I would say, "Well, I liked it or I screwed up. I take the hit on this one."

Richard Grieco once asked for a bunch of M&M's