Certificate quotes:

Send

I'm Ready to Die without a Reasonable Doubt Smoke Chronic and hit it Doggystyle before I go out. Until they sign my Death Certificate, All Eyez on Me I'm still at it, Illmatic, and that's The Documentary. -- Jayceon Terrell Taylor
I've been to many beauty salons. No one gave me a certificate. -- Ljupka Cvetanova
Vickie Lynn Hogan is my birth certificate's name. -- Anna Nicole Smith
The only name on my birth certificate was Henley, no first name. -- Rickey Henderson
I'm trained as a teacher; that's the only thing I've got a certificate for. -- Quentin Blake
I want a certificate that allows me to make as big a box office as possible. -- Ridley Scott
I'm not saying my mother didn't like me, but she kept looking for loopholes in my birth certificate. -- Les Dawson
I was fortunate enough to be an American citizen by birth and I have the birth certificate to prove it. -- Raul Labrador
There was some indecision as to when I was born. My sister said it was 1916. I'd lost my birth certificate. -- Michael Gough
A certificate of live birth is not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as a birth certificate. -- Donald Trump
Even Obama's staunchest supporters are starting to leave him. Last week Michelle Obama demanded to see a copy of his birth certificate. -- Ann Coulter
I mean, if someone asked for my birth certificate, I'd get my baby book and hand it out and say 'Here it is.' -- Vicky Hartzler
My mother had to send me to the movies with my birth certificate, so that I wouldn't have to pay the extra fifty cents that the adults had to pay. -- Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
My recollection of the higher school certificate, which involved a practical exam in physics, was being confronted with an experiment involving a sort of barometer arrangement, wondering why I couldn't make it work. -- Peter Higgs
I reached a time in college when I didn't know what I wanted to do. At that time, women's careers were essentially nursing, secretarial and teaching. My mother advised me to get my teacher's certificate. -- Kay Granger
We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. -- David Letterman
I used all diligence to arrive at London and therefore I now gave my crew a certificate under my hand, of my free and willing return, without persuasion or force by any one or more of them. -- Henry Hudson
I know I've got a degree. Why does that mean I have to spend my life with intellectuals? I've got a lifesaving certificate but I don't spend my evenings diving for a rubber brick with my pyjamas on. -- Victoria Wood
You have all these people in the city and everything has become centralized. If you live outside the city and you need a birth certificate or some official paper from the government, you have to travel to the city. -- Edwidge Danticat
My mother desperately wanted children. She had a child that was stillborn - something I learned when I was looking through her 'effects' after she had died. It was then that I discovered my original birth certificate, which indicated the previous birth. -- Stanley Hauerwas
My father is Emmit and my grandfather is Emmit, but I wanted something extra so I could separate my Emmitt from the rest of them. Even though on my birth certificate it has one T, I just added the extra T for me. -- Emmitt Smith
We are making sure that the courses we offer at MITx and HarvardX are quintessential MIT and Harvard courses. They are not watered down. They are not MIT Lite or Harvard Lite. These are hard courses. These are the exact same courses, so the certificate will mean something. -- Anant Agarwal
I went to regular schools and I was home schooled a lot but I don't have any history in schools. Like, I literally don't exist. I didn't even get a birth certificate until the mid-80s. I always feel like I could be, like, 10 years younger, or maybe I'm 70! -- Rose McGowan
Marriage is an ongoing thing, man. You continue to work at it. But it's joyful. And joyous. I don't care if people are living without a marriage certificate. It's just about people, in some way, saying to each other, 'I commit to you. I will help you in this life.' -- James McAvoy
A stock certificate is not a tool, like a shovel, or a commodity, like a pound of cheese. What we sell a customer is not a share in a business, but a view of the Elysian Fields. A financier is a creative artist. Our function is to stimulate the imagination. We are poets! -- Jean Giraudoux
The online credential, the online certificate is very different from an on campus certificate. And we really believe that online learning and the EdX platform and the EdX portal, these are ways in which - you can think of them as a rising tide that's going to lift all boats whether for students worldwide or on our campuses. -- Anant Agarwal
I had a certificate that said, 'Doctor of Mixology, Harvard University,' that I actually got from Harvard University. A friend of mine was a research assistant over there and it was one of those student or university perks and she brought me in on that. So I am a doctorate from Harvard and it only took me one afternoon. -- Ronda Rousey
His death certificate says he died first of pneumonia and secondly of Alzheimer's disease. They could have listed another cause of death: a refusal to properly care for dementia sufferers, even when they are violent, and an equal inability to care for their carers. My dad died of dementia, but also because dying was the easiest way to treat him. -- Rose George
Every photograph is a certificate of presence. -- Roland Barthes
Peace is a certificate you get in the grave. -- Peter Tosh
No one has ever asked to see my degree certificate. -- David Hockney
A verbal threat is the most authentic certificate of impotence. -- Nassim Nicholas Taleb
Nowhere on your birth certificate did it say life would be fair -- Trevor Jones
Suicide is what the death certificate says when one dies of depression. -- Peter D. Kramer
I want to see the original long-form certificate of Donald Trump's Republican registration. -- Rand Paul
Check your spiritual birth certificate, you were made in the mighty image of God. -- Joel Osteen
I'll show you Obama's birth certificate when you show me Sarah Palin's high school diploma. -- Bill Maher
Honey, I plan to marry you the moment the ink is dry on that death certificate. -- Sara Gruen
I was an ugly baby. On my birth certificate there was a listing for Probable Cause. -- Ronnie Shakes
When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate. -- Jackie Vernon
You don't need to see my birth certificate, or my college records, or my legal writings, or... anything. -- Barack Obama
Donald Trump says that he will not run for president. You know why? He can't find his birth certificate. -- Jay Leno
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size. -- Milton Berle
I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat. -- Milton Berle
I make niggas eat dirt and fart dust, Then give you a $80 gift certificate to Pussies "Ð¯" Us. -- Ludacris
The three most important documents a free society gives are a birth certificate, a passport, and a library card. -- E. L. Doctorow
President Obama went to India, South Korea, then Japan. He's going to keep travelling until he finds his birth certificate. -- David Letterman
Only with our government are you given a certificate at birth, a license at marriage, and a bill at death. -- Jennifer Dunn
Obama is the closest thing to a Latino that we have. Barack. Everybody wants to see his birth certificate too. -- George Lopez
Also she signed away the right to self-destruct years ago. The fine print on the birth certificate, her friends call it. -- Jenny Offill
President Obama and his wife are going to Kenya. Donald Trump said, 'While you're there, pick up your birth certificate.' -- David Letterman
I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate had an expiration date on it. -- Steven Wright
--
Right here, in this same headquarters, 52 years ago, the Convention that gave the birth certificate to the war on drugs was approved -- Juan Manuel Santos
In the early days of the Indian Territory, there were no such things as birth certificates. You being there was certificate enough. -- Will Rogers
Now I have something. In fact, I have posted on the Internet more than Obama has. My birth certificate actually has signatures. -- Orly Taitz
I was the one that got him [Barack Obama] to produce the birth certificate. And I think I did a good job. -- Donald Trump
Gender data is important. If girls donâ??t have a birth certificate, how do we know how many are marrying as children? -- Kathy Calvin
There are few things in life harder to find and more important to keep than love. Well, love and a birth certificate. -- Barack Obama
No one's ever asked to see my birth certificate. They know that this is the place that we were born and raised. -- Mitt Romney
Donald Trump has told me that he is proud of the fact that he finally got [Barack] Obama to produce his birth certificate. -- Rudy Giuliani
What do Obama and God have in common? Neither has a birth certificate. How do they differ? God does not think he's Obama. -- Rush Limbaugh
Rick Perry is now saying he thinks that Barack Obama's birth certificate is fake. I think Perry may have faked his driver's license. -- David Letterman
Every sect is a certificate that God has not plainly revealed his will to man. To each reader the Bible conveys a different meaning. -- Robert Green Ingersoll
Have you seen these Republican presidential candidates? I bet Obama is sorry now that he spent all that money on the new birth certificate. -- David Letterman
A great deal of capital, which appears to-day in the United States without any certificate of birth, was yesterday, in England, the capitalised blood of children. -- Karl Marx
I don't know how old I am because a goat ate the Bible that had my birth certificate in it. The goat lived to be twenty-seven. -- Satchel Paige
I'm rather relaxed about death. From quite an early age I've regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate. -- Bob Monkhouse
Thomas remembered the image of the Cranks at the windows back at the dorm. Like living nightmares, missing only a death certificate to make them official zombies. -- James Dashner
I say nothing, because I was able to get Barack Obama to produce [birth certificate]. He should have produced it a long time before. I say nothing. -- Donald Trump
John McCain turned 72 years old last Friday, but the Chinese are making him a birth certificate that says he's only 33 and then he'll be ready to go. -- David Letterman
Donald Trump showed his birth certificate to reporters. Who cares about his birth certificate? I want to know if that thing on his head has had its vaccinations. -- Craig Ferguson
Trump is running for president and he's wasting no time getting down to business. In fact, just after his announcement he demanded to see Jeb Bush's birth certificate. -- Jimmy Fallon
You can lead and motivate people without a certificate or title, what you need to do is to tell people a compelling secret that was only known to you. -- Michael Bassey Johnson
Reading is such a personal thing to me. I'd much rather give someone a gift certificate to a bookstore, and let that person choose his or her own books. -- Erik Larson
Spend at least one Mother's Day with your respective mothers before you decide on marriage. If a man gives his mother a gift certificate for a flu shot, dump him. -- Erma Bombeck
He [Donald Trump] is the one who got him [Barack Obama] to finally produce the birth certificate. Hillary Clinton's campaign first raised this issue. He picked this up from Hillary Clinton. -- Rudy Giuliani
Anyone can get a degree or a certificate in something. Big deal. A piece of paper from a university somewhere doesn't define a person. It won't tell you who I am. -- Rachel Gibson
I think I did a great job and a great service not only for the country, but even for the president [Barack Obama], in getting him to produce his birth certificate. -- Donald Trump
--
I have to say, after hanging out with Republicans for four days, I want to take a look at my own birth certificate. I don't think I was born in this country. -- Andy Kindler
In a Cafe" I watched a man in a cafe fold a slice of bread as if he were folding a birth certificate or looking at the photograph of a dead lover. -- Richard Brautigan
Donald Trump said he still wants to look more closely at Obama's birth certificate to make sure that it's real. Incidentally, President Obama said the same exact thing about Donald Trump's hair. -- Jimmy Fallon
Did you see my ninja move?That was fast, right?" "You are not a ninja, Shane." "I've watched all the movies. I just haven't gotten the certificate from the correspondence course yet. -- Rachel Caine
I'm tired of hearing about innocent victims. It's fiction, If you live on this planet you're guilty, period, f*** you, next case, end of report. Your birth certificate is proof of guilt. -- George Carlin
I was trying to find out who my father was. They say that at that time, that if you are illegitimate, the father doesn't have to put his name down on the certificate. -- Eartha Kitt
--
When a man teaches something he does not know to somebody else who has no aptitude for it, and gives him a certificate of proficiency, the latter has completed the education of a gentleman. -- George Bernard Shaw
And let's all be honest here; more of us believe in the American hero Sheriff Joe Arpaio's thorough investigation into your phony birth certificate and phony history than the phony media's smoke and mirrors. -- Ted Nugent
I was married once--in San Francisco. I haven't seen her for many years. The great earthquake and fire in 1906 destroyed the marriage certificate. There's no legal proof. Which proves that earthquakes aren't all bad. -- W. C. Fields
Are we Pakistanis, children of a lesser God? Is there one law for the west and one for us? Is our democracy supposed to be only democracy if you give us a no objection certificate? -- Imran Khan
--
President Obama announced his re-election campaign, though itâ??s not really a surprise. He did all the things that make it official: He filed the paperwork, redesigned his website, and printed another fake birth certificate. -- Craig Ferguson

Send