Ted Maltin Quotes in Jingle All the Way (1996)

Ted Maltin: Howard, I'm of the mind set you can never do too much to make a child's Christmas magical.

Ted Maltin: [to Liz in the car] Here, have some non-alcoholic eggnog.

[on the day before Christmas Eve, after having failed to make it to his son's karate class, Howard has just gotten home, and got out of his car, and in kind of a guilty mood, starts heading towards his house]

Ted Maltin: [from Howard's roof] Hey, neighbor!

Howard Langston: Ted, what the hell are you doing on my roof?

Ted Maltin: What's Ted doing on your roof?

[we suddenly see him light up the whole house]

Ted Maltin: Ta-da! I had some extra lights in the garage, and since you didn't put up any yourself, I just thought "What the hey?" Why not spread a bit of Christmas cheer around the neighborhood?

Howard Langston: [sarcastically] Gee, Ted, how thoughtful!

Ted Maltin: Hey! I'm sorry you missed the karate class today, but don't worry, I got it all on video for you.

Howard Langston: [sarcastically] What would I do without you?

[In a friendly tone, Howard tries to pet Ted's reindeer, and the reindeer tries to attack Howard's hand]

Ted Maltin: Wow, that's odd. Reindeer are usually such gentle animals. There must be something about you he doesn't like! Aftershave or something.