Max Parrish Quotes in


Max Parrish Quotes:

  • [On his addiction to painkillers]

    Max Parrish: It's not enough to be stronger, faster, and better-looking than the other guys. The guys I'm after are Lex Fucking Luthor. If I'm gonna fight the Joker, I gotta have a Batmobile.

  • Oleg Krezinsky: Is intelligent man who recognize opportunity in bad situation.

    Max Parrish: Tell me about it. Took the FBI six months and a brigade to grab you, took me an hour. I'm a fucking genius!

  • Max Parrish: What are you gonna do? Shoot me for having been in love before?

    [Diane shoots him]

    Max Parrish: She shot me.

    Diane Norwood: Come on, I knew you had a vest on.

    Max Parrish: She shot me!

    Diane Norwood: Couldn't risk it. Come on, let's go.

    [Max shoots Diane]

    Garrett Lawton: No!

    Max Parrish: Hurts, huh? I knew you had a vest on too, psycho bitch!

    Diane Norwood: You asshole!

    Garrett Lawton: I hope the two of you never decide to have any children.

  • Max Parrish: Have you seen Billy Jack? Ah, come on, you've seen it. If you don't get out of my way, I'm gonna take this left foot, and I'm gonna whop you right on the nose. And you know what? There ain't a damn thing you can do about it.

    [Max karates the two thugs]

    Max Parrish: I hated that movie!

  • [Max leaps toward a closing door, and crashes into it]

    Max Parrish: Thank God nobody saw that.

  • Max Parrish: God! I'd have two more guns if I wasn't such a nice guy!

  • Diane Norwood: So, I guess we're finally even on that saving-your-life thing.

    Max Parrish: No. When you dropped the crate on him, you evened the score, when he tried to shoot you, I saved you again.

  • Max Parrish: (Admiring a painting in Garrett Lawton's flat) Nice tits.

  • Max Parrish: You can't make me believe you're giving me up for... how much is her take?

    Thomas Livingston: 20 percent, let's say... 31 million.

    Max Parrish: Dollars?

    Thomas Livingston: Mmm-hmm.

    Garrett Lawton: Hey, so what's 31 million dollars? Max is what's priceless!

    Max Parrish: Can Max get a kiss goodbye?

  • [while Max and Diane are searching Garrett's hotel room, the phone rings]

    Garrett Lawton: Say, my watch must be fast. What time does the clock by the bed say?

    [Max looks at it]

    Max Parrish: Oh, shit!

    [He grabs Diane and jumps out through the window. Nothing happens]

    Max Parrish: [after a pause] Oh... sorry. I thought it was the old "distract you on the phone while the clock bomb gets you" trick.

  • [Max and Diane, guns drawn, are about to storm into Garrett Lawton's hotel room]

    Max Parrish: Can I ask you something?

    Diane Norwood: What?

    Max Parrish: You almost married Krezinsky's son just to get him back into the country, right?

    Diane Norwood: Yeah, so?

    Max Parrish: Well, what if Krezinsky had had a daughter?

    Diane Norwood: Blond or brunette?


    Max Parrish: Oh, thank you. If I'm about to die, I want that to be the last image in my head.

  • [Diane punches Max]

    Max Parrish: Okay... okay, I can't hit you back.

    Diane Norwood: Why not?

    Max Parrish: Because I'm *way* too tough to go around punching women!

  • Train Yard Hood: [interrogating Max] What are your plans?

    Max Parrish: Same as everyone, I guess. Beautiful wife, couple of kids, picket fence...

    [receives another punch]

  • [Max passes through a metal detector, and it beeps]

    Max Parrish: Oh, you want more than one gun. You said "gun," singular. Should have told me.

    [He takes out two more guns and drops them on the table. Cut to a second later, as he passes through the metal detector again, with another beep]

    Chinese Bodyguard: You wearing steel-toed shoes?

    Max Parrish: [snaps] Of course! That's what it is.

    [the bodyguard stomps on his foot, hard. Max grunts in pain and turns back to the metal detector. Cut to later as it beeps yet again]

    Chinese Bodyguard: Maybe that metal plate in your head...!

    [Max grabs his arm, all the other thugs point their guns at his head]

    Max Parrish: Oh! You know what?

    [takes out his back-up back-up gun]

    Max Parrish: I haven't used it for a while.

  • Train Yard Hood: Where's Lawton?

    Max Parrish: Somewhere in Pennsylvania, I think.

  • Max Parrish: Where the hell were you?

    Garrett Lawton: I could find any toilet paper, so I soaked some newspaper in water and that worked fine.

  • [Max is driving a rail cart towards the warehouse door. He draws both his guns]

    Max Parrish: Now stand back, you bastards, and let me in. And I'll huff and I'll puff, and blow your house down! All right, you bastards, get ready to die...

    [He shuts his eyes as the cart crashes into the door. Max tumbles out, raising his guns]

    Max Parrish: Hands up!

    [He sees he is still outside, and the door is hardly dented, and groans]

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