Captain Monica Stark Quotes in

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Captain Monica Stark Quotes:

  • Captain Monica Stark: Ms. Barnes, why am I feeling a sense of deja vu?

    Bettina Barnes: I have a breath mint in my purse, sweetie - will that help?

  • Captain Monica Stark: Strange that the victim had only one testicle stuffed in his mouth. I believe they usually come in pairs.

    Cookie: Well, that's cuz he only had one. I checked. Plenty of meat, only one potato.

  • Provoloney: Why you picking on us? We didn't do nothin' wrong.

    Captain Monica Stark: Because I don't like you. Don't like the way ya talk. I don't like the way ya walk. Don't like ya haircut. You kids think ya own this beach- think it's a teenage world. Well, you're dead wrong!

  • Captain Monica Stark: Frankly, Dr. Edwards, in the past, I've had little use for you headshrinkers, inkblot tests, "I hate my mother" and all that crap. But with this case, I find myself at a loss. I understand you specialize in the treatment of homicidal maniacs.

    Dr. Edwards: Yes, well, I've never been involved in a criminal investigation.

    Captain Monica Stark: Hmm. Don't worry. You can leave the cops and robbers stuff to me. What I need from you is this: what kind of sicko am I looking for?

    Dr. Edwards: The perpetrator preys upon vulnerable unfortunates the killers deems somehow flawed.

    Captain Monica Stark: Give me a profile.

    Dr. Edwards: Let's say the assailant is highly sophisticated, yet childlike. Vulnerable but canny.

    [a photo of Chicklet flies in Monica's head]

    Dr. Edwards: Capable of both tenderness and extreme brutality.

    [then, a photo of Kanaka]

    Dr. Edwards: The murderer is highly intelligent, yet strangely out of touch with reality.

    [then a photo of Mrs. Forrest]

    Dr. Edwards: Sexual, yet surprisingly innocent.

    [then, a photo of Bettina Barnes]

    Dr. Edwards: This individual has an insatiable craving for normalcy, which will make your investigation all the more difficult.

    Captain Monica Stark: How so?

    Dr. Edwards: Because the killer will do everything in his power to pass as normal.

    [finally, a question mark]

    Dr. Edwards: He or she could be anyone.

  • Captain Monica Stark: Well, here we are at another murder. I'd rather we met for minature golf.

  • Captain Monica Stark: Mrs. Forrest, what were you doing at 9 PM last night?

    Mrs. Forrest: What any woman should be doing at 9 PM. Needlepoint!

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