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A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. -- W. H. Auden
I'm like a mad professor, but without the spiky hair. -- Willard Wigan
I'm a tenured professor. But I'd get rid of tenure. -- Francis Fukuyama
A professor must have a theory as a dog must have fleas. -- H. L. Mencken
I guess if I weren't an actor, I'd be a history professor. -- Tom Berenger
My wife was a licensed psychologist by profession and a college professor of psychology. -- Marvin Sapp
I come from a family where my father is a filmmaker and professor of film. -- Derek Magyar
My dad's a pastor and a seminary professor; my mom, she has such great faith. -- Allyson Felix
My dad is a doctor, a professor of psychiatry, and my mum is a psychotherapist. -- Ben Barnes
I mean, part of me would love to be a fat tenured professor of theater someday. -- Darren Criss
I'm a minister, and I serve as a minister in addition to being a university professor. -- Tony Campolo
My mother wanted me to be a professor, because I have several people in my family who are professors at university. -- Jose Manuel Barroso
I wasn't a normal professor. I had worked in government. I hadn't written nine zillion books. I was a hands-on professor. -- Madeleine Albright
Brand names are well known to business school professors, but only one professor is a brand name herself. Call her Professor Oprah. -- Bill Dedman
Professors of classics - not even a professor of English - professors of classics, they're something sacred; it's almost like being a priest. -- Erich Segal
I was promoted associate professor in early 1970 and full professor in October of the same year. I spent the two spring semesters of 1972 and 1974 as visiting professor at Harvard University, giving lectures and directing a research project. -- Jean-Marie Lehn
I want to be an activist professor. -- Tariq Ramadan
I am a professor who writes novels on Sundays -- Umberto Eco
Were I wrong, one professor would have been enough. -- Albert Einstein
Take away paradox from the thinker and you have a professor. -- Soren Kierkegaard
I didn't know there was a dying-professor section at the bookstore. -- Randy Pausch
There are no enemies in science, professor. Only phenomena to study. -- Charles Lederer
There are no enemies in science, professor, only phenomena to study. -- Charles Lederer
A schoolteacher or professor cannot educate individuals, he educates only species. -- Georg C. Lichtenberg
I guess if I weren't an actor, I'd be a history professor -- Tom Berenger
Heaven help me, but I wanted my professor to be my boyfriend. -- Cora Carmack
You get kicked around long enough, you become a professor of pain. -- Ernest Borgnine
Want to know the best thing about being a professor? Colored chalk. -- Donald Sadoway
Only in England would 'professor gets divorced and remarried' be a story. -- Niall Ferguson
Humility: The most quietly profound professor in the university of Christian living. -- Evinda Lepins
I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor didn't exist. -- Judy Tenuta
If you would learn a thing, straightway declare yourself a professor of it! -- John Barth
Essien Udom is a Nigerian. At present he's a professor at Ibadan University. -- Malcolm X
In America, the professor talks to the mechanic. They are in the same category. -- Noam Chomsky
I think of myself as a serious professor who, during the weekend, writes novels. -- Umberto Eco
It was always assumed I would be a professor. I grew up thinking it. -- Daniel Kahneman
I say I'm an academic: a professor of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins. And I write. -- Kay Redfield Jamison
I would a great deal rather be anything, say professor of history, than vice president. -- Theodore Roosevelt
My mother is an office manager, my father a professor of economics and financial planner. -- Poppy Z. Brite
A professor is one who can speak on any subject - for precisely fifty minutes. -- Norbert Wiener
What do you think I'm a professor of? The little finger? (On offers of honorary doctorates.) -- Henri Cartier-Bresson
There is no idea so stupid that you can't find a professor who will believe it. -- H. L. Mencken
I've always thought of myself as a cattle-handling specialist, a college professor first; autism is secondary. -- Temple Grandin
A poet must be a professor of the five senses and must open doors among them. -- Federico Garcia Lorca
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Every new fad or fashion at once has its denouncers from the pulpit, platform, professor's chair. -- Alice Dunbar Nelson
There are three traps that strangle philosophy: The church, the marriage bed, and the professor's chair. -- George Santayana
A practitioner in panegyric, or, to speak more plainly, a professor of the art of puffing. -- Richard Brinsley Sheridan
Misguided liberal Joseph Stiglitz.Columbia University professor and Nobel Prize winner, claims the American dream is dead. -- Jedediah Bila
When a professor insists computer science is X but not Y, have compassion for his graduate students. -- Alan Perlis
As a teacher, my strategy is to encourage questioning. I'm the least authoritarian professor you'll ever meet. -- Niall Ferguson
If you don't feel the blues, then you're not listening. Then you're just a professor or something. -- Brother Ali
If you're going to spend a long time locked in somebody's basement, take a professor with you. -- Terry H. Anderson
Lincoln was less well-read than many a professor or journalist, but what he read, he read deeply. -- Richard Brookhiser
My father was a professor of civil engineering at MIT, and my mother taught high school English. -- Eric Allin Cornell
I then moved to the University of Western Ontario where I was made a full professor in 1985. -- J. Philippe Rushton
He's a great - he's a great professor. He retired recently, but.But Peter Halley as well. -- Kehinde Wiley
I was at my best at a little past forty, when I was a professor at Oxford. -- G. H. Hardy
I was a constitutional law professor, which means unlike the current president I actually respect the Constitution. -- Barack Obama
I could get a better education interviewing John Steinbeck than talking to an English professor about novels. -- William Safire
We read Robert Browning's poetry. Here we needed no guidance from the professor: the poems themselves were enough. -- Carl Sandburg
On a medical school professor noted for slowly, carefully interviewing the patient: "He taught the love of truth. -- David McCullough
I'm a professor of national security studies, and I know a lot more about fighting than Rumsfeld does. -- Barry McCaffrey
...the most important thing you must remember when dealing with a politically biased professor is to be friendly. -- Lee Doren
I'm not from the arts, I'm a law professor. But I think we need more poetry in politics. -- Zephyr Teachout
I'm a professor. I know that people in research labs can do miraculous things if they're given the resources. -- Randy Pausch
The university president who cashiered every professor unwilling to support Woodrow Wilson for the first vacancy in the Trinity. . . . -- H. L. Mencken
I am what libraries and librarians have made me, with little assistance from a professor of Greek and poets. -- Heraclitus
I am what libraries and librarians have made me, with little assistance from a professor of Greek and poets -- Heraclitus
The mind reels at the multiplication of books intended to justify the author's promotion from assistant to associate professor. -- C. Northcote Parkinson
To win this war, we need a commander in chief, not a professor of law standing at the lectern. -- Sarah Palin
I do know that a law professor there [in Columbia University] published an article calling me a white supremacist. -- Steve Inskeep
Without the communist oppression, I am absolutely sure I would now be a local stupid professor of philosophy in Ljubljana. -- Slavoj Zizek
Without the communist oppression, I am absolutely sure I would now be a local stupid professor of philosophy in Ljubljana. -- Slavoj Zizek
I've heard 14 year old meth addicted thai prostitutes say more prescient things than the woman that was supposedly a "professor -- Tucker Max
I'm the classic absent-minded professor: I'm very focused on something, and meanwhile, I've left the refrigerator door open for hours. -- Jewel
I consider poetry my vocation, not my "career." My career is as a university professor; that's what pays the bills. -- Cate Marvin
My mother was an economics professor. I'm proficient in math, and statistics, game theory, symbolic logic and all of that. -- Dave Hickey
You must treat the days respectfully, you must be a day yourself, and not interrogate it like a college professor. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Allow me to say that I would long since have committed suicide had desisting made me a professor of Latin. -- Ezra Pound
The only teaching that a professor can give, in my opinion, is that of thinking in front of his students. -- Henri Lebesgue
Carl Becker has defined a professor as a man who thinks otherwise; a scholar is a man who otherwise thinks. -- Randall Jarrell
I asked an 85 year old professor, 'What makes you cry?' He said, 'Whenever I see or hear the truth.' -- William Sloane Coffin
It's not proper for a professor to go before a class and promote one party or another. That's not academic scholarship. -- Juan Cole
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If you show a poetry professor your shiny new multiple choice teaching technology, he will invite you to exit his office. -- Andrew Ng
My mother wanted me to be a professor, because I have several people in my family who are professors at university, -- Jose Manuel Barroso
My dad, the old professor, used to say, 'Never get into an argument about what's folk music and what isn't.' -- Pete Seeger
Who but an English professor would threaten to kill a duck a day and hold up a goose as an example? -- Richard Russo
What is the professor's function? To pass on to numskulls a body of so-called knowledge that is fragmentary, unimportant, and largely untrue. -- H. L. Mencken
Being appointed Elder Professor meant very much taking over the shop, in that the professor in those days controlled all the moneys. -- John Henry Carver
America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. -- Evan Esar
The first famous winemaking consultant was the late professor Emile Peynaud, who reigned over Bordeaux throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s and 70s. -- Robert M. Parker, Jr.
I am a professor at the computer science department, but I don't know how to use a computer, not even for Email. -- Endre Szemeredi
I do miss George Bush. Compared to these teabaggers and the people who are pandering to them, he looks like a professor. -- Bill Maher
Well, first of all, no professor should be able to say, I refuse to defend my position. I refuse to debate my position. -- Alan Dershowitz
[Asked about a book in which 100 Nazi professors charged him with scientific error.] Were I wrong, one professor would have been quite enough. -- Albert Einstein
It was always important to me to be that kid who could rock the party as well as rock the English professor's mind. -- Saul Williams
One of my goals as a professor of English is to teach students to recognize and think critically about what makes something art. -- Andrew Hoberek
College is a place where a professor's lecture notes go straight to the students' lecture notes, without passing through the brains of either. -- Mark Twain
Stuyvesant chats with Kelly and Katz, The professor warms to the broker, And life is good in the brotherhood Of an air-conditioned smoker. -- Ogden Nash
The idea that you know more than the intelligence community knows, it's a little like saying, I know more about physics than my professor. -- Joe Biden
My mom is like this hard-core, liberal feminist. She's a professor in Boston, and she's been teaching women's studies for 30 years and international politics. -- Eliza Dushku
Any questions I had about whether a redneck from Oklahoma could become a Brown Classical Philosophy professor ended when I met Tim [Blake Nelson]. -- Edward Norton
The professor at the boxing gymnasium wore mustaches and was very precise and jerky and went all to pieces if you started after him. -- Ernest Hemingway
I was a professor at Princeton University. And, in that capacity, I studied for many years the role of financial crisis in the economy. -- Ben Bernanke
I've always traveled. I'm a professor in a limited way. I teach one class two quarters out of four, so I get traveling done. -- Pam Houston
But one does not make living writing poetry unless you're a professor, and one frankly doesn't get a lot of girls as a poet. -- Jeffery Deaver
My mind is just as open as it ever was, professor. But it's a scientific mind, and there's no place in it for superstitions. -- Garrett Fort
"Law professors were never like economics professors," a Harvard Law professor told me. "If you disagreed with someone, you didn't call him a fool." -- Calvin Trillin
The referee said it was not acceptable, but the Press considered they could not refuse to publish a book by a professor of the university. -- John Edensor Littlewood
My parents divorced when I was born, and my mother is a political science professor, like a feminist Mormon, which is sort of an oxymoron. -- Eliza Dushku
Part of me wanted to get a graduate degree in political science. Had I done that, I suppose I would have become a college professor. -- Samuel Alito
My mother is a professor of early childhood education. When I was two she would say she knew I was going to be an actor. -- Matt Damon
My parents met in music school, and my father was a music professor and conductor. Growing up, we always had classical and contemporary music playing. -- Sara Zarr
The first famous winemaking consultant was the late professor Emile Peynaud, who reigned over Bordeaux throughout the 1940s, '50s, '60s and '70s. -- Robert M. Parker, Jr.
The greatest menace in this country is not the bootlegger, but the college professor who rejects the Bible and undermines the faith of the young. -- Arno C. Gaebelein
For years, Mount Holyoke professor Joseph 'Full Metal Jacket' Ellis had been regaling students, interviewers and friends with gripping stories of his service in Vietnam. -- Ann Coulter
Possibly when the professor insisted a little too emphatically upon the inferiority of women, he was concerned not with their inferiority, but with his own superiority. -- Virginia Woolf
Quoting, like smoking, ... is a dirty habit to which I am devoted. But then ... I am a professor of English literature; it is an occupational hazard. -- Carolyn Heilbrun

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