Late Night quotes:

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I missed the boat when I was doing Late Night. -- Chris Elliott
Late night television is ready for someone like me... standards have gone to an all-time low. -- Howard Stern
It's a privilege to present 'Late Night Live'. No radio program, anywhere on Earth, casts a wider net. -- Phillip Adams
When I was in college, I wanted to write for 'Late Night With Conan O'Brien,' and I was an intern there. -- Mike Birbiglia
The only way to get vegetables at a diner late night is to order the omelette. A feta cheese and broccoli omelette. -- Lisa Loeb
Late night is no different than making a film, really, except that it's faster, and if you do a crap one, you can do a better one tomorrow. Writing a novel and doing stand-up - that stuff is very similar. -- Craig Ferguson
You know, I always was an early morning or late night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning you make up some of your most absurd jokes. -- Joss Whedon
On 'Late Night,' it's like we're all in on the joke. That's what I wanted it to be. I'm not doing something sneaky. Inside jokes, I don't like those. We can all ride together, and everyone's on the same thing going, 'Aha, I know where you're going here.' -- Jimmy Fallon
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I started on 'Saturday Night Live' the same time Conan started on Late Night. We just had a relationship because I would be upstairs in the studio and whenever he couldn't get a guest - which was often back then since he was just starting out - he would just call me down to be a guest. -- Norm MacDonald
You can't reinvent the wheel. I remember when we first started out at 'Late Night,' we were trying to hire directors, and this guy was like, 'I see you behind a glass desk.' I don't. And he's like, 'Yeah, the glass desk.' I go, 'I don't really see me as a glass desk guy.' -- Jimmy Fallon
When I was young, I'd watch guys on 'The Tonight Show', Buddy Hackett, guys like that, where all they'd be is funny. Later, I remember, on 'Late Night with Letterman', I remember he'd have Jay Leno and Richard Lewis as first guests and the entire point was to entertain and be funny, and I think talk shows have kind of lost that. -- Norm MacDonald
With Late Night Show I can begin the search for the real Stephen Colbert.I just hope I don't find him on Ashley Madison. -- Stephen Colbert
The book the Ziff folks sent me as an example of their art was 'Late Night VRML 2.0 with Java,' 700 pages + CD-ROM, published February 1997. I was personally acquainted with more movie stars than people who might conceivably have wanted to buy this book or any book like it. -- Philip Greenspun
Probably the most fun I've ever had, actually, acting. Because it was the perfect extension of the stuff that I'd started to do on Late Night With David Letterman, and when I look back on all my work, it was probably the best possible incarnation of Chris Elliott, of me. -- Chris Elliott
When we developed the 'Seinfeld' show, we took a bet on Jerry Seinfeld, who was not a household name. But Jerry had a voice. He was appearing on 'Late Night', on 'The Tonight Show', had some commercials out there, his voice of observational comedy, looking at the world around him, that voice was really starting to come into its own. -- Warren Littlefield
I'm a late-night guy. -- Dane Cook
I have to tell you, though, the sexism in late night talk is so profound. -- Kathy Griffin
I suppose I will go on selling newspapers until at last will come the late night final. -- Max Aitken, Lord Beaverbrook
I suppose I will go on selling newspapers until at last will come the late night final. -- Max Aitken, Lord Beaverbrook
I'm sure that people who have been tweeting funny things have ended up on writing staffs of a late night show. -- Dane Cook
I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie? -- Jimmy Kimmel
I learned how fast you can go from being an international hero to being a reference in a joke on a late night talk show. -- Michael Phelps
So many groups fail because they spend all their time in the clubs. Work pours in and they can't handle it because of late-night drinking. -- Maurice Gibb
I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over. -- Jon Stewart
I write best late at night, when everyone in the house has gone to bed. There's something magical about that late night silence that appeals to me. -- Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni
After a gig I always head back to the hotel, remembering granny's words of wisdom. I cancel the late-night pizza and watch the Jonathan Ross show instead. -- Jimmy Carr
I'm a terrible interviewer. I'm not a journalist - although I have a Peabody Award - and I'm not really a late-night host. What I am is honest. -- Craig Ferguson
In the world of late-night comics, Letterman made us feel any hometown boy from Indianapolis could poke fun at celebrities and politicians and do it right to their faces. -- Chris Matthews
In a late-night monologue, it's not just about being funny; you have to come off as knowledgeable. You have to cultivate a persona of trust and intelligence and likeability. -- Anthony Jeselnik
Mayor de Blasio wants to eliminate garbage. He believes New York City produces way too much garbage. Well, heck, forget about producing too much garbage. What about late-night talk shows? -- David Letterman
Many of you might already recognize me as the guy in the question-mark suits appearing in the late night TV commercials and on the cover of educational books and CDs. -- Matthew Lesko
We had only snacks last time, I think it was OK for a day time menu. But this time it will be late night when people gather so we should add some proper meals. -- Hidetoshi Nakata
He would use amphetamines to stay awake because he would have late night maneuvers that would go way into the early morning hours and he was given pills to stay up for the long hours. -- Priscilla Presley
One of the pleasant duties of America's most famous announcers during the relatively short swing era of the big bands was to host late-night remotes from some of the most famous ballrooms throughout the country. -- Nick Clooney
I always was an early-morning or late-night writer. Early morning was my favorite; late night was because you had a deadline. And at four in the morning, you make up some of your most absurd jokes. -- Joss Whedon
Loneliness is black coffee and late-night television; solitude is herb tea and soft music. Solitude, quality solitude, is an assertion of self-worth, because only in the stillness can we hear the truth of our own unique voices. -- Pearl Cleage
A lot of issues were on the ballots. In New York City there was Proposition 14. That would put a ceiling on the number of late-night talk shows. And California passed Proposition 21. That would change guacamole officially to guac. -- David Letterman
The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it. -- Jimmy Kimmel
If you succumb to the temptation of using violence in the struggle, unborn generations will be the recipients of a long and desolate night of bitterness, and your chief legacy to the future will be an endless reign of meaningless chaos. -- Martin Luther King, Jr.
There's a lot of people out there who have seen us once somewhere in a pub or heard our songs late night on radio. We'd done four years of it before we'd even released a single. It's put us in good stead. -- Dan Hawkins
A lot of late nights in the gym, a lot of early mornings, especially when your friends are going out, you're going to the gym, those are the sacrifices that you have to make if you want to be an NBA basketball player. -- Jason Kidd
Being as versatile as I am, I take offense to the notion that no serious musician would not be doing a late night talk show gig. One has to be open enough in other areas to be able to contribute to a show like this. -- Kevin Eubanks
There is no late-night comedy. You watch comedy, you watch whenever you want to tune on. You can it in the middle of the night. You can it in the morning. It's all comedy. They just label it late-night comedy so they don't have to pay as much. -- George Schlatter
An elaborate system of etiquette and social standards flowered around the home phone: how long a child might be allowed to stay on the phone, how late one could call without being impolite, and of course, the dread implications of a late night call which violated that norm. -- John Battelle
I actually think some of my best moments in life have been while I was with people from Instagram - whether it's super late nights getting a release out or being able to travel to places I'd never visited and meeting some of the most interesting people I've ever met. -- Kevin Systrom
Simply being a guest on David Letterman's show has been a highlight of my career. I never dreamed that I would follow in his footsteps, though everyone in late night follows Dave's lead. I'm thrilled and grateful that CBS chose me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go grind a gap in my front teeth. -- Stephen Colbert
The desire to do different things was the main motivator that made me leave late night because I'd been there seven years. The combination of an entrepreneurial desire to see how far I could push my success and a short attention span. But now I've done other things. And I'm sort of ready to sit somewhere and sit in the same place for a while. -- Andy Richter
I found that to build mental toughness, you need to inconvenience yourself. The early morning runs, if you hate early mornings. The late night runs, if you hate late nights. The snowy cold, the worst conditions you can get, put yourself in those and really make it inconvenient and you start to get a genuine expectation of winning for the price you have to pay. -- Chael Sonnen
I thought late-night was crowded... the format's repetitive. -- Craig Kilborn
Even the city seems dead this late at night. -- Levi Rogers
Don't believe the things you tell yourself late at night. -- Cheryl Cole
I like to go hear jazz late-night up in Harlem. -- Daniel Boulud
Walking round the Champs-Elysees late at night is the greatest time. -- Estelle
I'm kind of an insomniac and watch TV late at night. -- Monica Keena
In the late hours of the night, befriend the prayer mat. -- Muhammad Tahir-ul-Qadri
She sang late into the night, till her heart was full -- Anamika Mishra
I like to draw late at night when the house is quiet. -- Mary Engelbreit
Little old lady got mutilated late last night, werewolves of London, again. -- Warren Zevon
My ex send late night text cause she don't know to let go -- Drake
I have this disease late at night sometimes, involving alcohol and the telephone. -- Kurt Vonnegut
Drinking makes uninteresting people matter less and late at night, matter not at all. -- Lillian Hellman
Everyone who ever walked barefoot into his child's room late at night hates Legos. -- Tony Kornheiser
No trouble ever got fixed late at night," he said. "Midnight is for regrets. -- Holly Black
Loneliness is black coffee and late-night television; solitude is herb tea and soft music. -- Pearl Cleage
I've been followed home late at night. I've been shot at on the highway. -- Oscar Pistorius
I often write either really early in the morning, or really late at night. -- Tracy Chapman
Family hang-outs can go very late into the night and involve lots of music. -- Yael Stone
What I really see myself doing is late-night TV. No woman has ever done it. -- Anna Benson
Taking pictures is like tiptoeing into the kitchen late at night and stealing Oreo cookies. -- Diane Arbus
It's very interesting to know what people are doing while you're working on late-night television. -- Craig Ferguson
I love cereal. I eat several bowls a day, mostly a few late at night. -- Paul Dano
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Have you ever walked late at night through a forest when you are first in love? -- Conrad Veidt
What we do have is nothin' but time. Welcome to the Shawshank Redemption of late night! -- Craig Ferguson
He that riseth late, must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night. -- Benjamin Franklin
If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted. -- Jimmy Kimmel
They will smile, as they always do when they plan a major attack late in the night. -- Dejan Stojanovic
Don't ever rope me in as a late-night talk show host. I don't want to be one. -- Craig Ferguson
I shop for clothes when I have time - early in the morning or late at night. -- Jessica Seinfeld
I do know that I don't want to wake him.We were up very late last night. -- Tahereh Mafi
I don't typically work that late into the night in a studio, I'm more productive during the day. -- Amy Ray
I'm not very disciplined. I tend to write late at night because I get distracted during the day. -- Arthur Bradford
I was always working, so I would get reading done very late at night a lot of times. -- Frank Caliendo
A friend of mine once defined love as finding someone you can talk to late into the night -- James Patterson
I feel my shows are like a late-night talk show that we settle down and do every night. -- John Mayer
Sometimes in my tent, late at night, I think I can hear the stars scraping against the sky. -- Rick Yancey
You're working yourself till late at night, and sleeping crazy with deadlines - you're doing it for a reason. -- Gary Kraftsow
I go to bed late. My mind starts going at night - that's when those creative juices begin flowing. -- Donny Osmond
I mostly eat plant-based, so give me an avocado or something, even late at night, and I'll be happy. -- Nikki Reed
When you're doing late night you're on the grind every night; you send someone to check on your mom. -- Arsenio Hall
Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -- Steven Wright
You don't like hot rod racing or driving late at night, you just want to park where it's nice and dark. -- Elvis Presley
I like to make sure I get enough rest, so I don't make it a priority to go out late night. -- Noureen DeWulf
The way I approach stardom and the show, I'm like a politician. I'm an elected late-night official to do your work. -- Arsenio Hall
Late night writing is also good, too, but in New York, you've got neighbors. I try to be a good neighbor. -- Sara Bareilles
I am much more productive late at night because I have no one to look to for entertainment aside from myself. -- Rachel Nichols
David Letterman is the best late-night talk show host right now, hands down, and has been since he first took the desk. -- George Lopez
You gotta get up early in the morning to catch a fox and stay up late at night to get a mink. -- Mae West
Our most meaningful conversations go on late at night when we're on the phone with our friends or talking to our lovers. -- Marianne Williamson
You know you poor when you eatin' breakfast food late. You fryin' toast? At nine o'clock at night? With bacon? You're broke. -- Bernie Mac
Last night I stayed up late talking about tomorrow, and today I regret it because I was way off (by about 24 hours). -- Jarod Kintz
I relish the time I have when there are no interruptions. Most often the best time for writing is late at night. -- Franny Armstrong
Your heavenly eyes are shining like a late night starTo be in heaven, I like to get lost in those eyes forever. -- Debasish Mridha
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But it was too late. I was down the steps and out the door, where the warm night air almost felt like forgiveness. -- Simmone Howell
When you paint late at night, drinking beer or wine or both, you gotta be very careful to watch what you are doing... -- Hiroko Sakai
I work late at night. I'm awake and nobody bothers me. It's quiet and things come and talk to me in the silence. -- Diana Gabaldon
If we are now holding late-night talk-show hosts to the same moral accountability as we hold politicians or clergymen, I'm out. I'm gone. -- Craig Ferguson
I see ghosts everywhere, and that is partially a function of my being incredibly near-sighted and reading way too late into the night. -- Lauren Groff
My favorite time is late at night. I seem to wake up and want to work after 10pm, in my bubble of night. -- Ed Askew
I was used to hanging out late after playing a gig - you mix adrenaline with alcohol and you can stay up all night. -- Kurt Vile
For the average person walking down a dark street late at night, a promise from a politician is worth far less than a .38 Special. -- James Bovard
Late-night television is like the cereal aisle in the supermarket: too many choices. Also, too many 'different' brands that really aren't different at all. -- Tom Shales
I like working late at night and then going into the house and sitting down and watching a movie and then going to sleep. -- Robert Barry
I have always loved Waffle House. It's been like an oasis in the desert many times late at night after one of my concerts. -- Trace Adkins
Late night watching T.V Used to be you here beside me Used to be your arms around me Your body on my body. -- Coldplay
I think if you give in and accept society's stereotypes, then you start thinking, 'I cannot dance till late at night because I'm 70.' -- Yoko Ono
Do your own thing. Others own their own thing. If you copy too much, you'll find yourself in late night cocktail lounge cover band limbo. -- Kurt Cobain
It's the worst feeling when you come home alone late at night and think the stranger sitting on your couch is a pile of clothes. -- Dane Cook

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