Mae West quotes:

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.

Personality is the glitter that sends your little gleam across the footlights and the orchestra pit into that big black space where the audience is.

Look your best - who said love is blind?

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important.

She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.

A dame that knows the ropes isn't likely to get tied up.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I never loved another person the way I loved myself.

Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

A woman in love can't be reasonable - or she probably wouldn't be in love.

A man's kiss is his signature.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

I like a man who's good, but not too good - for the good die young, and I hate a dead one.

A man has one hundred dollars and you leave him with two dollars, that's subtraction.

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.

Anything worth doing is worth doing slowly.

Opportunity knocks for every man, but you have to give a woman a ring.

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

You are never too old to become younger!

Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.

Don't marry a man to reform him - that's what reform schools are for.

Love isn't an emotion or an instinct - it's an art.

It takes two to get one in trouble.

I'll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.

The score never interested me, only the game.

Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

Men are my hobby, if I ever got married I'd have to give it up.

Getting married is like trading in the adoration of many for the sarcasm of one.

I'm single because I was born that way.

There are no good girls gone wrong - just bad girls found out.

I'd like to see Paris before I die.

The best way to behave is to misbehave.

Don't cry for a man who's left you--the next one may fall for your smile.

Love is like a booger, you pick and pick at it. Then when you get it you wonder how to get rid of it.

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.

I enjoyed the courtroom as just another stage but not so amusing as Broadway.

Well, the end of another busy day. I can't wait till I get back to bed. If that don't work I'll try to sleep.

I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.

I believe in censorship. I made a fortune out of it.

Sex is emotion in motion.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

Come up and see me sometime.

It ain't no sin if you crack a few laws now and then, just so long as you don't break any.

Cultivate your curves - they may be dangerous but they won't be avoided.

I didn't discover curves; I only uncovered them.

The curve is more powerful than the sword.

You may admire a girl's curves on the first introduction, but the second meeting shows up new angles.

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.

I have always felt a gift diamond shines so much better than one you buy for yourself.

I always say, keep a diary and someday it'll keep you.

Say what you want about long dresses, but they cover a multitude of shins.

I'm a woman of very few words, but lots of action.

Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.

It's not the men in my life that count, it's the life in my men.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance, but a good line is hard to resist.

I don't know a lot about politics, but I can recognise a good party man when I see one.

Don't keep a man guessing too long - he's sure to find the answer somewhere else.

To err is human, but it feels divine.

Ten men waiting for me at the door? Send one of them home, I'm tired.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.

I made myself platinum, but I was born a dirty blonde.

No gold-digging for me; I take diamonds! We may be off the gold standard someday.

Everything's in the mind. That's where it all starts. Knowing what you want is the first step toward getting it.

I've been in more laps than a napkin.

To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said - 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film.

Kiss and make up-but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss.

Let's get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini...

A man in the house is worth two in the street.

A man can be short and dumpy and getting bald but if he has fire, women will like him.

Life's just a merry-go-round. Come on up. You might get a brass ring.

Imagine censors that wouldn't let you sit in a man's lap. I've been in more laps than a napkin!

When you get the personality, you don't need the nudity.

Just a little sheep dip. Panacea for all stomach ailments.

It's all right for a perfect stranger to kiss your hand as long as he's perfect.

An ounce of performance is worth pounds of promises.

Is that a pistol in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? (She made this remark in February 1936, at the railway station in Los Angeles upon her return from Chicago, when a Los Angeles police officer was assigned to escort her home)

All the raves were just words. You don't want to let words confuse you. Words come cheap.

I like restraint, if it doesn't go too far.

Too many girls follow the line of least resistance--but a good line is hard to resist

Keep a diary, and someday it'll keep you

Right now I think censorship is necessary; the things they're doing and saying in films right now just shouldn't be allowed. There's no dignity anymore and I think that's very important

Too much of a good thing can be wonderful!

Women like a man with a past, but they prefer a man with a present.

Love thy neighbor -- and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.

When I'm good, I'm very good, but when I'm bad, I'm better.

Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.

To err is human - but it feels divine.

One more drink and I'll be under the host.

I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it.

Those who are easily shocked should be shocked more often.

Don't ever make the same mistake twice unless it pays.

When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad I'm better.

It is better to be looked over than overlooked.

Brains are an asset to the woman in love who's smart enough to hide 'em.

I started out as Snow White, but then I drifted.

I believe that one day the world will judge the witch hunt against homosexuals just as harshly as it judges the Spanish Inquisition and the Holocaust.

I'm no angel, but I've spread my wings a bit.

His mother should have thrown him out and kept the stork.

I meet a man with a thousand dollars and leave him with two; that's the meaning of subtraction.

When you think about it, what other playwrights are there besides O'Neill, Tennessee and me?

When it comes to finances, remember that there are no withholding taxes on the wages of sin.

I believe that it's better to be looked over than it is to be overlooked.

Positive thoughts generate positive feelings and attract positive life experiences. You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

I've no time for broads who want to rule the world alone. Without men, who'd do up the zipper on the back of your dress?

Personality is the most important thing to an actress's success.

Virtue has its own reward, but no sale at the box office.

I only like two kinds of men, domestic and imported.

Personally, I like two types of men - domestic and foreign.

Too much of a good thing can be taxing.

He who hesitates is a damned fool.

... love is banality to all outsiders.

[On the metaphysical:] ... I knew in some marvelous way I had touched the hem of the unknown. And being me, I wanted to lift that hemline a little bit more.