Joking quotes:

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  • Joking around is part of my personality, just who I am. -- Novak Djokovic
  • Joking apart, now let us be serious. -- Horace
  • Joking decides great things, Stronger and better oft than earnest can. -- John Milton
  • Joking is a barrier between man and the world. Joking is the enemy of love and poetry. -- Milan Kundera
  • Sometimes When You Are Serious, People Thought You Were Joking, But Sometimes When You Are Joking, People Thought You Were Serious -- Harry Toh Jun Shen
  • I am always joking and always clowning, giving and helping. -- Red Buttons
  • Life is too short not to do a little practical joking. -- Krista Allen
  • Love is such a confusing word. You think I'm joking but I'm not. -- Michael Showalter
  • My way of joking is to tell the truth. That's the funniest joke in the world. -- Muhammad Ali
  • I flew into New York for the Raising Arizona audition, and we just started joking around. -- John Goodman
  • I would always be the kid that got in trouble in school, that's for sure, for joking around. -- Matthew Perry
  • Lightness, jesting, and joking, can only be indulged at the expense of barrenness of soul, and the loss of the favor of God. -- Ellen G. White
  • I'm not joking around when I've said occasionally, trying to learn how to play a D chord properly has been a very big thing for me. -- Lou Reed
  • I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences. -- Bill Cosby
  • Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.' -- Pat Paulsen
  • You may have read that I went to M.I.T. In 1982 I filled out a Who's Who survey with joking responses, and they never bothered to check the facts. -- Chevy Chase
  • Often, joking for me is a way of diffusing the awkwardness of a situation, so it's kind of exhilarating to be a part of projects where there's nothing funny or lighthearted. -- Emma Stone
  • You should hear what my parents wanted to call me. It was between Brown Rice, Neon Hitch and Z. Ziggurat Zanzibar Zandorf. I'm not joking. Imagine fitting that on my passport! -- Neon Hitch
  • I like joking around and being a little mischievous. Once an audience or even a group of friends realizes that you're being benevolent about it, then they're along for the ride. -- Reggie Watts
  • A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious. -- Eminem
  • In Delaware, the largest growth in population is Indian-Americans moving from India. You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent. I'm not joking. -- Joe Biden
  • I would play my Dungeons and Dragons songs and watch people's eyes glaze over, and then I would start joking around between songs, and all of a sudden people were lighting up and engaging. -- J. Tillman
  • Not all journalists are really journalists. They ask such stupid questions sometimes, especially the newer ones, and because... these people can't tell if you're joking around, you just can't have any sense of humour; you really can't. -- Ray Liotta
  • My joking answer to this question is that I leave a bowl of milk out on the back porch every night for the Idea Fairy. In the morning, the milk is gone and there's a brand-new shiny idea by the bowl. -- Sarah Zettel
  • I think there's a difference when you make fun of yourself and your own behavior, and when you dishonor or disrespect Christ. If you're making a mockery of Christ is one thing. But if you're just joking about human foibles and weaknesses, I think that's perfectly acceptable. -- Patricia Heaton
  • Britney Spears is a big influence. Huge. I think people thought I was joking about that for a long time. But when I was a teenager, there was a genuine connection with this sweet girl who also had this very sexual side that people didn't really want to accept. -- Marina and the Diamonds
  • I did have a falsetto, but I only used it when I was joking around with friends or to annoy my girlfriends, or in the shower, because no one else was around. Or in college. I'd go to karaoke bars and sing Tina Turner songs in the original key. -- John Lloyd Young
  • In high school, a teacher once suggested that I be a math major in college. I thought, 'Me? You've got to be joking!' I mean, in junior high, I used to come home and cry because I was so afraid of my math homework. Seriously, I was terrified of math. -- Danica McKellar
  • I'm a big fan of gallows humor. When my aunt passed away, she was in a coma for a day before my cousins pulled the plug. And the amount of joking and base humor that went on that day around her bed was so insane. It's crazy how people talk when something horrible is happening. -- Amanda Peet
  • You know, you have a lot of people - I've met a lot of people in the past, I've gone to private schools, you know, encountered different people who think that it's OK to make comments, insensitive comments about your race because they're joking. And think that if they're joking and they say it, you know, good-naturedly, that things will fly. -- Issa Rae
  • My way of joking is to tell the truth -- George Bernard Shaw
  • Never call a girl fat, even if you're joking. -- Demi Lovato
  • I'm joking, I'm joking. Best decision I ever made. -- Joe Biden
  • Journalists never make it clear when you are joking. -- David Bailey
  • But enough joking. I am singing. This is all my life. -- Placido Domingo
  • Ain't no use jiving, ain't no use joking, everything is broken. -- Bob Dylan
  • Maybe you're going insane." "Maybe," agreed Kernel. "I was joking." "I wasn't. -- Darren Shan
  • I'm not one of those people who are, like, always joking in person. -- Dave Franco
  • I never stopped joking around long enough to realize you weren't laughing anymore. -- Alexandra Potter
  • I'm amused by a lot of things. I love humor. I'm constantly joking around. -- Ray Liotta
  • It's hard for a comic to be joking when your lines can't be funny. -- Steven Michael Quezada
  • The Doctor: I've seen bigger. Clara: Really? The Doctor: Are you joking? It's massive! -- Steven Moffat
  • I've seen 'Pride and Prejudice' about 4,000 times. I'm not joking: I know every single line. -- Claire Foy
  • My serve has killed a small dog ... I'm joking, I'm joking! The dog was huge! -- Andy Roddick
  • Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking. -- Amy Sedaris
  • I could be joking and smiling [with infidels] and then cutting their throats in the next second. -- Tarik Shah
  • Is that a joke? Please tell me you're joking. -Sophie I never joke about carnivorous bunnies. -Luca -- Rachel Vincent
  • I can't imagine not joking even at the worst of times. And for me, it's sort of automatic. -- Elizabeth McCracken
  • --
  • I've noticed that when people are joking they're usually dead serious, and when they're serious, they're usually pretty funny. -- Jim Morrison
  • Don't, Ginny, we'll send you loads of owls. We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat. George! Only joking, Mum. -- J. K. Rowling
  • I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. -- Jimmy Carr
  • You aren't angry " "You must be joking " she said dryly. "I'm alive Nicholas. And I'm immortal like you. This rocks -- Lynsay Sands
  • God? Nope." requel's smile told me she was joking around to make this easier for me "santa clause? No again. -- Claudia Gray
  • I might literally fall over dead if I meet Oprah Winfrey. I'm kind of joking, but I'm not confident that wouldn't happen. -- Uzo Aduba
  • Bulletproof is about the fact that I was shot in the face and survived. Nah I'm joking that'd be grisly and awful. -- Thom Yorke
  • When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking. -- John Oliver
  • When Henry Ford said, "The customer can have a car in any color as long as it's black," he was not joking. -- Peter Drucker
  • Auri," I asked slowly, "are you joking with me?" She looked up and grinned. "Yes I am," she said proudly. "Isn't it wonderful? -- Patrick Rothfuss
  • This is your one chance. Tell me where the key is." "Okay." Serpine raised an eyebrow. "Really?" "No, only joking. Do your worst. -- Derek Landy
  • I've been joking that 'On the Road' is the prequel to 'The Road.' I don't know if that's a very good joke. -- Kodi Smit-McPhee
  • My dad keeps joking about sneaking into my grandparents' house and switching out their HBO for PBS so they think I'm on 'Downton Abbey. -- Allison Williams
  • I try to visit people in hospitals when I can, smiling and joking while I'm there. But when I leave, I just start crying. -- Loretta Lynn
  • My daughter will be reading about Pat Buchanan in a history book someday, and I am hanging out fist-bumping with him and joking with him. -- Willie Geist
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  • I love Twitter. My favorite thing to do these days is to tweet things that seem very questionable as to whether I'm joking or not. -- Max Greenfield
  • [To reporter who telephoned with news of her Oscar:] If you are joking me, I will get up immediately and kill you wherever you are. -- Anna Magnani
  • Anyone willing to do what is required to become president of the United States is thereby barred from taking that office. I'm only half joking -- Alan Greenspan
  • My dad keeps joking about sneaking into my grandparents' house and switching out their HBO for PBS so they think I'm on 'Downton Abbey.' -- Allison Williams
  • It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil. -- Maureen Johnson
  • I'm terrible at practical jokes. I do them too well, so they're not funny. I end up saying, 'Oh, no, I'm joking, I'm joking.' -- Anna Torv
  • As professionals, we just try to keep the jokes to a minimum, when we're in a certain situation. When we're not doing that, we're joking. -- Mike Colter
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  • Sometimes I wish that I hadn't learned how to crochet," I say, and Alice laughs. Obviously she thinks I'm joking, which is maybe for the best. -- David Nicholls
  • The natives are superficially agreeable, but they go in for cannibalism, headhunting, infanticide, incest, avoidance and joking relationships, and biting lice in half with their teeth -- Margaret Mead
  • People complain that joking about serious subjects is 'making light' of them. Isn't that a good idea? Comedy lets the air out of the bully's tires. -- Peter Baynham
  • I'm in a comic book fan. I have long boxes at home. I'm a comic book collector; I'm not joking. It's just the coolest thing ever. -- Tim Rozon
  • When I write on 'SNL,' I've found I'm most productive while collaborating and joking with friends and not being firmly attached to any one idea. -- Cecily Strong
  • You know, Aunt Tasha makes jokes about how youʹd actually be a better queen than the others, except sometimes . . . I donʹt think sheʹs joking. -- Richelle Mead
  • Whether people grow fat by joking, or whether there is something in fat itself which predisposes to a joke, I have never been quite able to determine... -- Edgar Allan Poe
  • I give credence to the worst things somebody writes about me, and if somebody writes something nice, I think they're wrong or false or lying or joking. -- Jesse Eisenberg
  • I like to watch a bit of Disney, sprinkle some cocaine on some melon and just sit and eat it. I'm joking, I'm joking. There's no Disney. -- Paolo Nutini
  • I like working solo and it was a lot of fun joking around with the audience, saying things. I'm only just learning how to do certain things. -- Art Garfunkel
  • And I'm walking along and we're laughing, kidding, joking, and see he understood the leader, the one we called the leader, had some knowledge of English, although limited. -- Betty Hill
  • By the way, all joking aside, do I call you Ghastly or Elder Bespoke?' 'You can call me whatever you like.' Vex nodded. 'Thank you, Gladys. -- Derek Landy
  • Elton wanted a garden. They were building all afternoon while we were rehearsing. And then they built a fountain for Elton. And he said, I was only joking! -- Maurice Gibb
  • The happiness and the joy that I see in the eyes of the children. They saved my life so I want to, give it back. I'm not joking. -- Michael Jackson
  • Well I'm a 5 year old at heart; I still think that there is a monster under my bed - and I'm not joking. It's pathetic, it's really not cute. -- Eva Mendes
  • Stepped out into the cold, collar high, under the slate gray sky. The air was smoking and the streets were dry, and I wasn't joking when I said goodbye. -- Ani DiFranco
  • It is not necessary for the public to know whether I am joking or whether I am serious, just as it is not necessary for me to know it myself. -- Salvador Dali
  • Guess what, the cheerleaders in college are the best athletes in college. You think, I'm joking, they're almost all gymnasts, the stuff they do on hard wood, it blows my mind. -- Joe Biden
  • My friends just kept joking about all the horrible physical side effects [of Prednisone ]. I can only imagine that something that works that well has got to be bad for you. -- Hamilton Leithauser
  • I have always viewed thinking about arguing, about questioning, pushing back with, joking, about sharing and discovering the world and the news as enjoyable, the same way that I view watching basketball. -- Chris Hayes
  • All joking aside, I'm a television watcher and I get frustrated with shows sometimes when they set up puzzles and then they don't give answers. It's just more questions and more questions. -- Sarah Michelle Gellar
  • A lot of my rhymes are just to get chuckles out of people. Anybody with half a brain is going to be able to tell when I'm joking and when I'm serious -- Eminem
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  • He sounds like Jesus. Except rich and sexy." "Watch it, Meg. In this town joking about Jesus could get you shot. You've never seen so many of the faithful who're armed. -- Susan Elizabeth Phillips
  • I don't have a car." His eyes sliced into mine. "I walked here," I explained. "I'm on foot." "Angel," he said in a way that sounded like he sincerely hoped I was joking. -- Becca Fitzpatrick
  • Scurrility has no object in view but incivility; if it is uttered from feelings of petulance, it is mere abuse; if it is spoken in a joking manner, it may be considered raillery. -- Marcus Tullius Cicero
  • I'm a jokester, so when I was joking on Twitter, it kinda rubbed people the wrong way. And I was like, I didn't make these up. I'm just letting you know they're there. -- Gilbert Arenas
  • I keep saying the sexy job in the next ten years will be statisticians. People think I'm joking, but who would've guessed that computer engineers would've been the sexy job of the 1990s? -- Hal Varian
  • I read all the speeches of the pope, his commentaries, and if the pope continues this way, I will go back to praying and go back to the church, and I'm not joking, -- Raul Castro
  • Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster. -- Elizabeth Bishop
  • I have no desire to be a lead actor or anything. I was offered things and occasionally something comes along, but for the most part I'm pretty much, "You've got to be joking, right?" -- Ian Astbury
  • i was joking with isabelle about vampires right before it happened. just trying to make her laugh, you know? what freaks out jewish vanpires? silver stars of david? chopped liver? check for eighteen dollars? -- Cassandra Clare
  • My dad and I used to watch 'Ninja Warrior' all the time back when it was in Japan. I would always say, 'I could do that,' kind of joking, but obviously kind of serious. -- Kacy Catanzaro
  • I love Sam Neill. The thing that I always say about him, and I think it's true, is he's so dry. When he's serious, I think he's joking; when he's joking, I think he's serious. -- Willem Dafoe
  • We... joked a little about presidential portraits. He [Bill Clinton] told me that he and Harrison Ford had been joking recently about how chins drop with age, and he didn't want to look that way. -- Nelson Shanks
  • I was joking with my mom that all Jewish mothers now will want their kids to be filmmakers instead of doctors. Because you can make one film, and suddenly you're directing a 'Jurassic Park' movie. -- Colin Trevorrow
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