Tarik Quotes in

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Tarik Quotes:

  • George: [George and Tarik are walking on the beach, about to part paths] Tarik, things won't be the same without you. What will I do with myself? When you're not praying five times a day.

    Tarik: [laughs] Do exactly the same thing you would do when I *was* praying.

    George: Oh, that's impossible.

    Tarik: Why?

    George: Because I was stealing your food.

  • Harold: So what are you in here for?

    Tarik: For being black.

    Harold: Seriously.

    Tarik: I am serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Noble, and a cop stops me. Now evidently, a black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So he starts beating me with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.

    Harold: Holy shit! What'd you do?

    Tarik: I kept saying, "I understand I'm under arrest. Now please stop beating me."

    Harold: I'm sorry, I don't understand how you can be so calm about all this.

    Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, black, can't dance, and I have two gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.

  • Officer Martone: [notices the jail door keys in the jail door, and Jackson sitting inside the cell reading a book] Hey, Jackson's trying to escape!

    Tarik: What are you talking about? I'm just sitting here.

    Officer Reilly: He's trying to break free! Get him!

    Tarik: Aw, shit.

    [gets up and spread eagles on the cell wall, while still holding the book in one hand]

    Officer Martone: Don't move. Stop resisting! We need back up now! He's got a gun!

    Tarik: That's not a gun, that's a book.

    Officer Reilly: Secure the book!

    Officer Palumbo: Book is secure. You bring this filth

    [book is on human rights]

    Officer Palumbo: in here? What is this shit?

  • Harold: So what are you in for?

    Tarik: For being Black.

    Harold: Seriously.

    Tarik: I am being serious. You wanna know what happened? I was walking out of a Barnes & Nobles, and a cop stops me. Evidently, a Black guy robbed a store in Newark. I told him, "I haven't even been to Newark in months." So, he starts beating with his gun, telling me to stop resisting arrest.

    Harold: Holy shit! What did you do?

    Tarik: I said, " I understand that I am under arrest. Now please stop beating me."

    Harold: I don't understand how you can be so calm about this.

    Tarik: Look at me. I'm fat, Black, can't dance and have tow gay fathers. People have been messing with me my whole life. I learned a long time ago there's no sense in getting all riled up every time a bunch of idiots give you a hard time. In the end, the universe tends to unfold as it should. Plus, I have a really large penis. That keeps me happy.

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