Tami-Lynn Quotes in Ted 2 (2015)

Tami-Lynn: [Unrated version] Teddy, I got a really good feeling about this.

Ted: I know. Me too. I mean, adoption's great. Right?

Tami-Lynn: Oh, yeah. I mean, Steve Jobs was adopted.

Ted: Yeah! Yeah. And also a million kids who did nothin'.

Tami-Lynn: You know, Teddy, this has been nice, you and me doing this together. It's like we have a common goal or somethin'. Right?

Ted: I love hearing you say that, 'cause I feel exactly the same way.

Tami-Lynn: And we ain't fought in, like, a week.

Ted: I know! We haven't! Hey, you know what, if the baby works out, we should get a dog.

Tami-Lynn: Oh, my God. A German shepherd.

Ted: A German shepherd and a baby, together.

Tami-Lynn: It's, like, the perfect family.

Ted: And a gun to protect us all!

Tami-Lynn: Yes! Okay, as soon as we get the baby, we get the gun.

Ted: I love our gun-dog-baby family!

Lori: So, Tami-Lynn, why don't you... tell us a little bit about yourself, like where you're from? I'm always fascinated to meet Ted's girlfriends.

Tami-Lynn: What do you mean, 'girlfriends'?

[Looking at Ted]

Tami-Lynn: What's it like a lot of 'em or somethin'?

Ted: N-no, that's not what she meant at all. Right, Lori? You didn't mean that.

Lori: No, what I meant to say was Ted's very handsome, so I'm always interested in meeting the ladies that can snatch him up.

Tami-Lynn: Did you just call me a whore?

Lori: What?

Tami-Lynn: You just worry about your own snatch. How about that, honey?

Ted, John: Whoa!

John: What the hell happened? We're having a friendly meal.

Ted: Yeah, this was a nice evening.

Tami-Lynn: Don't talk shit to me.

Lori: I just asked you a question.

Tami-Lynn: You know, you're a frickin' snob. You think you're all cool, 'cause you work at some fuckin' fancy shit place? Whatever.

Ted: Take it easy.

[Looks at Lori]

Ted: Nice, Lori. Real nice.

Lori: Me? It's not my fault she can't speak English.

Tami-Lynn: [Gets up] Oh fuck you! Just 'cause you're on the business world and shit, you think what, everybody should suck your asshole or somethin'?

Ted: [Grabs Tami-Lynn's hand to calm her down] Okay, all right. Tami-Lynn, come on, honey. Let's get out of here. We'll go back to my place for a couple of Vodka and Strawberry Quiks, all right? Come on.

Tami-Lynn: You know what? I gave birth once, bitch! I can kick your fuckin' ass! And you better never should you show your face around Quincy, you hear me? Ever!

Ted: Okay, okay, come on. Come on.

[Ted and Tami-Lynn walk out of the restaurant]

Ted: I didn't know you had a baby. Is it alive?