Kikuchiyo Quotes in Seven Samurai (1954)

Kikuchiyo: What do you think of farmers? You think they're saints? Hah! They're foxy beasts! They say, "We've got no rice, we've no wheat. We've got nothing!" But they have! They have everything! Dig under the floors! Or search the barns! You'll find plenty! Beans, salt, rice, sake! Look in the valleys, they've got hidden warehouses! They pose as saints but are full of lies! If they smell a battle, they hunt the defeated! They're nothing but stingy, greedy, blubbering, foxy, and mean! God damn it all!

[He hurls a handful of arrows into the wall]

Kikuchiyo: But then who made them such beasts? You did! You samurai did it! You burn their villages! Destroy their farms! Steal their food! Force them to labour! Take their women! And kill them if they resist! So what should farmers do?

[Kikuchiyo sinks to his knees, and begins to sob uncontrollably]

Kikuchiyo: Damn... damn... damn... damn...

[Kambei unfolds his arms and looks down at the palms of his hands]

Kambei Shimada: [Quietly, after a long pause] You were the son of a farmer, weren't you?

Shichiroji: Kikuchiyo, what on earth are you doing?

Kikuchiyo: I can't kill a lot with one sword!

Kikuchiyo: You fool! Damn you! You call yourself a horse! For shame! Hey! Wait! Please! I apologize! Forgive me!

Kikuchiyo: [in a drunken stupor] Oh, it's you, is it? I remember your head. You had the nerve to ask me if I was a samurai. Didn't you? I never forget a face. Look, though I'm dressed in rags, I'm a real samurai, all right. Here. I'm going to show you something. Just look at this.

[He clumsily fumbles around in his robe, and presents a scroll from inside it]

Kikuchiyo: There, just you look at this. It's been handed down in my family for generations and generations. And you asked me if I were a samurai! Look at this, just look at this! That's me right there.

[Unrolls it and points randomly to a part of the scroll]

Kambei Shimada: Kikuchiyo, born on 17 February, the Second Year of Tensho.

[He suddenly bursts out laughing]

Kikuchiyo: What's so funny?

Kambei Shimada: You don't look thirteen!

Kikuchiyo: This baby... It's me... It's what happened to me!

Kikuchiyo: Blasted samurai...

[He falls asleep on the straw and starts snoring profusely]

Katsushiro: Is he really a samurai?

Kambei Shimada: Only in his mind.

Kikuchiyo: You all make great scarecrows. Problem is, the enemy isn't a bunch of sparrows and crows!

Shichiroji: That bandit said their fort...

Kyuzo: It's hardly a fort.

Kikuchiyo: It's full of holes, like Yohei's underwear.

Kikuchiyo: Use your balls, if you've got any!

Kikuchiyo: You again! I see that bald head of yours in my dreams!

Kikuchiyo: Don't mess with me. I may look like hell, but I'm a real samurai!

Kikuchiyo: Got a problem, gramps?

Gisaku: Nope. All's well now.

Kikuchiyo: Hey, everybody. Give your wives plenty of lovin' tonight, you hear?

[Villagers and Samurai laugh]

Kikuchiyo: Hot damn! Look at all those girls! Where the hell have you been hiding these girls?

Kikuchiyo: [as he distributes food to the young children] Does any of you have a cute sister?

Old Woman: I don't want to live any more. But I'm afraid the next world will be terrible, too...

Heihachi Hayashida: No, no. It's paradise. No bandits or anything. It's very nice.

Kikuchiyo: [loudly] How do you know? Ever been dead?

Heihachi Hayashida: [to Kikuchiyo] You needn't yell at me.

Kikuchiyo: [to Rikichi, who is spending the night in the stable] It's me. I'm sleeping here from now on. Those guys cramp my style.

[Rikichi starts to hurry out]

Kikuchiyo: Stop cowering, you idiot! This is your place! You hand over your house and sleep in a barn and you still can't stand up for yourself! Go back to sleep!

[He grabs the startled farmer and hurls him onto the straw. He lies down on the straw himself, beside Rikichi, with a straw mat over his body for a blanket. He sighs]

Kikuchiyo: Brings back memories.

Kikuchiyo: Got what you deserved, you mud snails.

Kikuchiyo: You there, chewing your cud. Can you cut that out? This isn't a cow shed!

Kikuchiyo: Something's upsetting the little bugger, but he won't say what. You can see it all over his face.

Heihachi Hayashida: Those lips of his are bolted up tight as a house.

[Kikuchiyo helps Kambei carry the body of the wife away, while he holds the infant]

Kambei Shimada: Let's go!

[He looks back at Kikuchiyo, who is standing in the middle of the river, stunned]

Kambei Shimada: Damn it, what it is it now?

[Kikuchiyo suddenly sinks to his knees, cradling the child]

Kikuchiyo: This baby... It's me. This is just what happened to me!

[He sobs]

Gorobei Katayama: Where shall we start our patrol?

Kambei Shimada: The spot that worries us the most, of course.

[Kambei and Gorobei arrive at a campfire near one of the roads, and find Kikuchiyo lying on the ground, his head propped up against a log and his feet resting on another log. He is supposed to be on guard, but is sound asleep. His sword is stuck upright in a pile of logs. Softly Kambei comes forward and takes the sword away. The two hide behind a straw hut. Gorobei throws a rock, which wakes Kikuchiyo with a start. Kikuchiyo scrambles to the pile where his sword had been]

Kikuchiyo: Who's there?

[He feels around for the sword, only to find it gone. He grabs a log from the pile and brandishes it]

Kikuchiyo: Who's there? Come on out!

Kambei Shimada: Kikuchiyo.

[Kikuchiyo whirls around to see Kambei and Gorobei standing behind him]

Kambei Shimada: You're lucky it was us. If it had been the bandits...

[He tosses Kikuchiyo his confiscated Nodachi]

Kambei Shimada: ... You'd be looking for your head.

[Kikuchiyo sinks down to his knees by the fire. He is so ashamed he can't speak]