School Teacher Quotes in

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School Teacher Quotes:

  • [Carter is asking a teacher to help identify people in a group photograph showing boys holding a trophy]

    Det. Sgt. George Carter: D'you think we could trace that cup?

    School Teacher: [sarcastically] Why not? The whole area's been demolished. The church school was pulled down ten years ago. I think you've as much chance of finding it as marrying a virgin.

    [long pause]

    Det. Sgt. George Carter: What's a virgin, miss?

  • School Teacher: Mr. Anderson... It's punks like you that paramedics end up scraping off the road at four in the morning. For your sake, and the safety of others, I hope you fail your driving exam.

  • School Teacher: [In the typical deep slow voice acting of Ben Stein] Let's move on to case study #12: Your company is in dire straits. Sales are down 50% due to stiff price competition. Dividends are falling. Stockholders are demanding that you step down as chariman of the board. Now, here's your problem: How do you rally the board of directors to your side AND stave off impending bankruptcy...? Reynolds?

    Reynolds: [who has been reading a newspaper] I'll have my secretary get back to you on that one.

    School Teacher: See me after class, Reynolds. Ellsworth, how would you get the board on your side?

    Ellsworth: [who has been playing miniature golf] Bribe someone.

    School Teacher: [sighs] Sit down, Ellsworth. Reginald, what would you do?

    Reginald: [who is being fitted by a tailor] What would I do? Simple. I'd float a rumor that we're the object of a takeover bid. And as soon as our stock went up, I'd sell.

    School Teacher: That's not only unethical, Reginald, it's illegal.

    Reginald: I'm only 12. I can't be held legally responsible.

    School Teacher: Hmm, good point.

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